


Incandescent

by SwordDraconis113



Category: Lost Girl
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Forbidden Love, Masturbation, Phone Sex, Porn With Plot, Pre-Series
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-09
Updated: 2014-12-17
Packaged: 2018-02-20 11:38:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 43,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2427284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwordDraconis113/pseuds/SwordDraconis113
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I have no doubt, I’m sure you’re very loyal, Lauren. However,” she paused, running a finger under Lauren’s jaw. “Seven months is a long time to go without another person, another body. And being alone, treated like an outsider, as a slave, must be very frightening. How difficult it must be, to desire someone in your bed, desperate for their warmth and love.”</p><p>Lauren blinked rapidly, her throat swelling. Yes, she wanted to say, yes, yes. She was lonely and scared, and most nights she slept on the floor, near Nadia, with her paperwork around her. She was desperate to be touched, desperate for something so simple as a hug, that even a handshake made her feel closer to someone than the cold indifference she so often faced.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I wanna be faithful, I wanna be raw

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EchoGalen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EchoGalen/gifts).



> EchoGalen asked for _all thirty_ [of the prompts](http://natasi.tumblr.com/post/99476318442/leave-me-a-ship-and-a-number-in-my-ask-and-ill), to morridoc. And then I found an old unpublished, unfinished one-shot that sorta fit one of the fills and then I was like, waiiiiit a moment, I could so turn this into a fic. So...this happened.
> 
> The numbers will be out of order, but the story will flow in the usual way.
> 
> [8tracks playlist](http://8tracks.com/tedra-boag/incandescent)

4\. Masturbation

 

“Who’s she?” Lauren asked. The woman turned, smirking as if she could hear her question. A glass of champagne lifted in her direction and Lauren dropped her eyes, the breath exhaling from her lungs.

“She shouldn’t be here,” Doctor Everett hissed. Grabbing Lauren’s arm, she steered her away. Lauren peeked over her shoulder, glancing back to the woman. She was grinning, her eyes holding Lauren’s firmly until someone directed her attention away.

“Who is she?” Lauren asked again. Doctor Everett had pulled her over to where the finger food was laid out on a white and gold covered table, though Lauren kept her hunger firmly away from it. It may look like pork to her, but some of the fae ate human flesh, others eating things even less appealing. Even the vegetarian menu was unsafe. “Everett?”

“The Morrigan,” she answered finally. “Stay away from her.”

Taking a breath, Lauren pressed her lips into a firm line. She may have only been with the fae for a month, but she knew better than to speak against orders, regardless of how patronizing the fae could be.

God, lately she revealed it patronizing terms. At least she was seen as someone, then. To Everett, she was a child at best, a pet at worst. Everyone else saw her as the stray dog, brought in out of pity, flea-ridden and diseased.

The Morrigan was the first one to look at her like… _someone._ Whoever, she was, Lauren wanted to know her.

“Who is Morrigan?”

“ _The_ Morrigan is in opposition against the Ash. _Evony_ , however, is a spoiled child. Avoid her.”

 _Evony_ . Lauren’s tongue tasted the name, unspeaking it as she looked over at her again, watching her laugh as the Ash stalked over. Lauren waited, she’d seen him look like that once before, a few weeks prior and the person had been struck dead.

Evony wasn’t afraid. She was amused, her gestures loose and lazy. Lauren had met girls like Evony before. She agreed with Doctor Everett, it’d be best to stay away.

Though staying away was easier said than done. Half the night past as Doctor Everett lead her around, showing her off like won prize before she, too, disappeared, leaving Lauren with strict instructions to not move until she returned.

Evony took the opportunity then, seemingly to appear out of thin air as she touched Lauren’s shoulder. Lauren jumped, eyes wide at the warm hand on her skin. “So sorry,” Evony laughed, sounding anything but. “Didn’t mean to frighten you, darling.”

“It’s fine,” Lauren smiled, swallowing nervously. A silence pulled between them, Evony’s eyes seeming to run over her. “I should, ah, le-“

“I believe you were given strict instructions,” the Morrigan teased. “But who am I to stand in the way of rebellion? Come.” She looped Lauren’s arm in hers, guiding her through the crowd of people, most of whom were fae, and if not, they were collared alike Lauren. None of whom, Lauren doubted, were taken outside to a bare balcony to stand below the stars, looking out amongst the city.

“Oh,” Lauren whispered, leaning forward. They were high up, not in the building, but on the hill, capable of looking out over most of the city. It was beautiful, she thought. But distant away to feel like it wasn’t quite real. Her experiences in the city were strictly professional. She couldn’t remember a time when she did something for herself. To her, the city wasn’t real.

“There, much better,” Evony said.

“But-“ she paused, looking back to where the crowd was. People whispering, speaking about her as if she couldn’t hear them. She didn’t want to return. Hated the idea. But Doctor Everett would be looking for her and she’d be severely punished if she was found out of place.

Lauren only rebelled once in the Light. Once had been enough.

“I’m sure you’re more at home in you lab.”

Lauren flushed. She couldn’t agree, truthfully, couldn’t disagree either regardless of the truth in the matter.

Evony paused, studying her before she stepped forward. “Must be frightening,” she said. “A big new world, hiding amongst the one you thought you knew? Nothing will ever be the same again, will it?”

“No,” Lauren whispered. “It won’t.”

“Must be lonely. I’m sure the Light have already isolated you from friends and family, telling you it’s for the best. That this way you can keep them safe,” Evony nodded, watching Lauren nod with her.

“It is,” Lauren said. “They’re right. Not all fae are good and-“ Evony laughed, cutting her off.

“I’m sorry, dear. Go on.”

Lauren frowned. “What’s so funny?”

“Oh, just you’re naivety.” Lauren glared, then blushed, holding it back. “Don’t look so offended, most humans are the same when they first become aware us. The modern would has filled minds with the idea of _good_ and _evil_ ,” Evony yawned for affect, “ _boring_.”

“There are lines,” Lauren said. “There’s-“

“And I suppose you think yourself as good, then?” Evony asked. “Don’t answer that, it’s rhetorical. Anyone who believes in good and evil thinks they’re on the side of right and just.” She stepped forward again in Lauren’s space, pressing her against the balcony. Her arms set on either side, effectively pinning her in place. “Cheating is _bad_ isn’t it?”

“What?”

“On your partner. Girlfriend. What’s her name?” Evony pressed closer, close enough that when Lauren inhaled sharply, she felt her chest touch the other woman’s.

“Nadia,” she said.

“How long has it been? A few months? Seven, since you joined, I believe.” Lauren blinked, had it been seven already? She thought back, trying to remember the Congo. It’d been that long…

Evony’s hand dropped from the bannister, curling around the material of Lauren’s dress. “No,” Lauren said, shaking her head. “I’m not- I won’t-“

“As you wish.” Her hand let go, smirking as she didn’t move away. “But you’re tempted.”

“I’m not.”

“I’m a sex fae, darling. You could lie to yourself for as long as you desire, but you can’t lie to me when it comes to sex or arousal. You’re tempted,” she said again. “It’s been a long time and you’re running out of hope of saving her. Seven months is so very _long_. Even if you do get away, fix her dearly broken body, she’ll still be bed ridden for a time, her muscles weak, her mind fearful and fragile of the time lost. She’ll never be the same.”

“I’ll be there,” Lauren bit back.

“I have no doubt, I’m sure you’re very loyal, Lauren. However,” she paused, running a finger under Lauren’s jaw. “Seven months is a long time to go without another person, another body. And being alone, treated like an outsider, as a slave, must be very frightening. How difficult it must be, to desire someone in your bed, desperate for their warmth and love.”

Lauren blinked rapidly, her throat swelling. Yes, she wanted to say, yes, yes. She was lonely and scared, and most nights she slept on the floor, near Nadia, with her paperwork around her. She was desperate to be touched, desperate for something so simple as a hug, that even a handshake made her feel closer to someone than the cold indifference she so often faced.

Evony leaned her, her head tilting and Lauren knew what was to follow, knew how starved she was for it. “No,” she whispered.

“Hmm?” Evony paused, close enough that Lauren could feel the hum of her voice, brushing against the air between them. “What is it?”

“Please.”

“Please what?”

Lauren blinked, her throat swallowing back the shudder. “Please don’t.”

“As you prefer.” She stepped back, turning away to look at the crowd of people behind her. Lauren shook, her arms visibly, her knees about to give in, furious with herself for allowing the Morrigan so close, for allowing herself to consider the option.

“I’m sorry,” Lauren said, ducking her head, she went to move, only for her arm to be caught. Gently. Lauren had been caught before, had her body ripped back in the presence of a fae, her body maneuvered by Doctor Everett as if she was nothing more than a doll, but Evony did neither. She grabbed her, loose enough that Lauren could easily tug away if she desired.

And she did. Didn’t she?

“I do apologize for frightening you,” Evony told her. “I shouldn’t have been so brash so fast.”

Lauren turned, looking to her. “It’s fine,” she whispered. The hand dropped away, Evony tilting her head to study her, waiting for something. “I-“

“Don’t go back in there, they’re all boring.” She sighed. “The only reason I’m here was mostly to fuck with your boss.”

“Everett?”

Evony smirked, “Elijah.” Oh. The Ash. Lauren looked over to where everyone was. Through the glass doors, she couldn’t see him. She couldn’t see Doctor Everett either though. “But I also wanted to see his new prize,” she looked over Lauren, smiling sharply at her.

“I’m not a prize.” She said the words firmly, believing them, though fear twisted over the sound. Evony just laughed, shaking her head.

“For a genius, you’re very stupid.” Perhaps it was, but Lauren wasn’t a prize, she refused to be seen as a prize and if that meant biting back at someone who could kill her as easily as bat an eyelash, then, she would. She was a person, an individual, and she’ll cling to that for as long as she could. Evony paused, her lips parting as she studied Lauren. “You are _so_ wasted with the Light.”

Lauren didn’t reply. She couldn’t. In part, she was, Everett was teaching her physiology, how to diagnose a patient and building on the skills she’d learnt as a field doctor in the army. Eventually, Lauren may become the Chief Medical Physician for the Light, she told her.

Lauren didn’t want that, she wanted the labs, the cool, clean sterile environment where she could work on understanding the fae, could look at their genetics and prevent disease, understand them, help them in a far more long-term practice than a general practitioner could. But she swallowed those thoughts away. She was already a genius when it came to genetics, still had free time to work there. Doctor Everett was building her to be a better doctor in all aspects.

That was important, too, she supposed.

“I should go,” Lauren said, “it was…nice to meet your acquaintance.”

“And to you,” Evony smirked. “I do so hope to see you in the future, Doctor Lewis.”

Lauren turned, making her way back to where she’d been before. Everett turned, glancing at her. “Where have you been?”

Lauren didn’t reply, the sound quiet in her mind. As if, quietly, Evony and herself both decided that this should be a secret kept between them.

“Bathroom,” Lauren answered.

“I told you to wait here.”

Lauren flushed, looking down. She felt like a child, some ignorant brat beneath her stare. Clenching her jaw, Lauren thought of Nadia, of what she wanted for her, of the scientific marvel’s she was experiencing that few other humans could. She tried to remember them, but all she could hear was Evony telling her how wasted her talents were.

Sighing, Everett, rolled her eyes. “I’m sorry, it’s just that there are people here who…won’t think twice about using you, even with the Ash’s mark.” She reached forward, pressing a hand to Lauren’s back and steering her away. “Let’s just move on. I have some people I want you to meet.”

She was moved like a prize, catching flashes of Evony here and there. The woman didn’t come to her again, and Lauren left the evening exhausted, dropped off at her apartment with sore feet and an empty belly.

She removed her shoes, changing into loose clothes, remembering Evony’s hands on her skirt. Cooking dinner for herself, something quick she only had to stir around in a frypan, had her mind drifting back to warm fingertips and a soft breath, tasting of champagne. She hadn’t kissed her, in truth, she’d barely touched her, but Lauren felt like she’d spent hours underneath her hands, pliant to her will.

Sex fae, she’d told her. Pheromones, Lauren decided.

Taking her food, Lauren curled up with her computer, looking over pieces of the archive she had access to, looking through the different types of sex fae. Popobawa was immediately ruled out, sex fae of vengeance, an underfae. La Fiura was described as ugly, and less about lust. That, and Evony didn’t seem bothered by her sexual advances being rejected. Succubus was a possibility, it’d make sense that a rare and powerful fae would be the leader of the Dark. However, if she was, Evony didn’t use any of her powers on her.

Lauren went to bed curious. Her thoughts corroded with guilt as she thought of Nadia, how long it’d been since she last held her. Their last night together had been lazy, Lauren had pressed her body to Nadia’s and fell asleep with fingers playing in her hair. Had she known, she might have made something special of it.

Her dreams didn’t carry the guilt.

In her modest apartment, with a room that overlooked other apartments, she faced the East. In the morning light, with a warm glow that made the usual white room golden, Lauren shoved cotton pants down her calves, her eyes blinking up at a ceiling, whispering over and over in her mind the benefits, the excuses she had for why her fingers stroked between her legs.

Strongly, she told herself that a distracted mind wouldn’t work efficiently, she couldn’t allow herself to be wondering about stray hands when there were petri dishes to examine, and notes to write and skills to learn. She couldn’t allow Doctor Everett to see her as anything other than her very best.

She told herself this as she thought of her dream, of past experiences to use as fodder for her fantasy. A mouth on her throat, a hand sliding over her waist, under her back as she arches at the touch between her legs. It was like the tide coming in, the waves growing and crashing, too short, too far away from the shore. She hadn’t hit peak yet, she wasn’t there. Not yet.

But close.

And maybe Nadia would forgive her, maybe she’d understand how desperate Lauren was for something, someone to make her feel human, alive and worthy, rather than toss her species as a dirty word in her face.

The Morrigan made her feel closer to real, closer to herself than she had in years. She wasn’t an equal, not yet, but she wasn’t a slave, a toy to be molded into position.

 _Doctor Lewis_ … Lauren felt her throat swell, hearing Evony’s voice tease in her ear again. She came, with wet fingers and damp thighs, her eyes staring wide at a blank ceiling and her chest heaving. Endorphins rushing through her system like the tide on the beach.

That was the last time, the only time, she told herself, pushing up from the bed. Evony had other things to attend to, she didn’t need to worry about a Light Fae human doctor. And Lauren didn’t need some stranger to get off to in the morning hours.


	2. I don't want this darkness, but the sun just falls from it's sky

7\. Half-dressed

Twice she broke her promise, coming undone beneath her own hand. Damp cotton pushed down her legs, her thoughts – not to the woman she loved desperately, lying in the Fae Compound – but to a woman she met only once.

The situations were far separated, though the guilt spitting acid in her belly was no less different. The first, coming to her in the shower, a moment of desperation to feel _something_ when loneliness was fiercely apparently; she came shaking, choking on her own sobs, with her hand pressed to the tiles. The second was weakness, loneliness too maybe, but lust filling her nonetheless. Innocently, it’d started out as nothing more than something to scratch an itch, but her thoughts had moved away from dreams and into fantasy.

But it was a dream, an idea of a person she wants. Evony wasn’t a reminder of failure, of a person she can’t save, but a stranger who pulled her skirts up her thighs. Of warm skin and promised desire. It’s not real, not tangible. A dream no more different than her desire for Samantha Carter.

Lauren thought about it often, of Evony, not Samantha Carter. She daydreamed before snapping her mind away on task, wondering in segments what the Morrigan, what Evony, tasted like; what it would feel like to be beneath the fae’s touch. Both out of curiosity and desire for another person.

Her bed was cold, most nights she spends there were restless, and if she’s not sleeping there, she’s beside Nadia, the off-hours research spilled around her, still desperately searching for answers she can’t find.

(Infection? It had to be an infection? Something that shut down the immune system. Something that hides. Maybe there’s an underfae parasite or…)

But weeks past, and it’s winter when she sees Evony again; seven months almost to do the day since Lauren last felt a person hold her.

“Absolutely not,” Doctor Everett spoke, her voice clipping at the absurdity. The Ash straightened, turning away from his garden to look at them both. Lauren averted her eyes to the flowers, head bowing when she felt him glance over her. The pendant around her neck felt heavy, tight even, as it hung low over the neckline of her shirt. “I will not allow-“

“It is done, Elena,” he said firmly. His voice didn’t raise, but Lauren felt adrenaline shoot through her. The hands clasped behind her back squeezed, terrified that the oxygen would leave Everett’s lungs and she’d flail hopelessly, unable to take a breath. She didn’t want to witness that again.

“She’s only been here for eight months, I…I haven’t trained her for such a case. Please, I implore that you take myself, or one of my previous prodigies. This is too big-“

“Doctor Lewis,” he said carefully, “needs to be able to work without you. If she hasn’t learnt the skills now, either yours or her own abilities are in question.”

Everett went quiet, her tongue catching. Slowly, she bowed her head respectfully. “As you say,” she answered. “Forgive me, I am…protective of her. Lauren is exceptional but I’d rather have her at her absolute best.”

The Ash’s eyes moved to Lauren’s. “Indeed. I have high expectations for you,” he told her. “Do not disappoint me.” Then, without word, they were dismissed as the Ash returned to caring for his garden. A small alcove blooming with strelitzia.

Lauren dropped her hands by her sides, following Doctor Everett inside the compound, her eyes focusing on the distant walls, rather than the woman’s furious words. The Ash has interest in her, Lauren realizes. It’s not a nervous tug in her gut, but a blossoming sensation of _finally_. She was recognized not as the shadow beside Everett, but as _someone_. “Lauren!”

“Yes?” she blinked, coming to a standstill to look to her superior.

The woman sighed, frowning. “This is a lot of information. You don’t have time to panic.” Lauren didn’t tell her she wasn’t panicking. She’d been looking for a chance to show her skills, something challenging. Coddling wasn’t helping her. She was far more capable than Doctor Everett seemed to believe.

Over the last two months, Lauren felt trapped. She wanted this opportunity to prove that humans were just as, if not more-so capable than the fae. She could do that, stand for her kind. Or at least, start in the right direction.

“It’s simple,” Everett told her, “You’ll be working with a team, the man in question is suffering from a genetic disorder, which his father is also suffering. His father is with the Dark, he’s with the Light. Different views when the war broke out or something, I don’t know, don’t care. Our duty is to the patients. Tensions between the Dark and Light are bad enough and opportunists will be looking for an excuse to break out a territory war.”

“So, I should-?”

“Keep to where you’re directed. It’s local,” she said, “territories aren’t laid out like they are in human societies, there’s many grey areas that are lazily slapped on as ‘neutral’ territory. However, that doesn’t matter. You’ll be with the Ash, working in the perimeters of a building in one of the neutral territories. Don’t leave unless the Ash gives you a direct order, understand?”

“Of course,” Lauren nodded, aware of the consequences of falling into Dark territory. The last person to make the mistake, they’d found the remains of them torn over separate Dark territory locations. _Animal attack_ had been the official statement.

“What you need to know, however, is that these people are very important, they hold a lot of influence because they’re from one of the four Founding Families.” Lauren shivered, starting to feel nervous. Life or death didn’t just weigh in on the patients for the Founding Families. Taking a breath, she stilled her expression. It would be fine, she could do this.

“I understand.”

“Good. You’ll be working with Light and the Dark, however the Dark _shouldn’t_ touch you. Most likely they’ll be keeping to their patient and you, to yours. Your work will be crossed over between the two groups by a superior, but that shouldn’t concern you.”

“What will I need to bring?”

“Firstly, I have notes you’ll need to read.” Everett lead her into her office, pulling out a large, thick file, “This needs to be read and memorized by the weekend. I have bags packed, I’ll give them to you.”

“Shouldn’t-“

“Next time I’ll have you pack your own bags,” Everett nodded. “Look, I’ve been intentionally keeping you back so this wouldn’t happen. I didn’t intend for your first time solo to be something so threatening. I was going to start you off slowly in the on coming weeks. Fairies, move you up onto trolls until eventually you’re placed in a critical situation where I won’t be there to help you. However, the Ash has other plans and my opinion apparently means nothing.”

Oh. Lauren swallowed, realizing that the coddling had been out of care, not hesitation on Everett’s part. A warmth filled her chest, before snapping shut. “I can handle this,” she said firmly.

Everett laughed. “I have no doubt, the events in the Congo certainly back up that statement. However, don’t get cocky.”

“I won’t.”

Everett snorted, disbelieving her. “Well, I guess that’s that then.”

Lauren went home and read. Between the next two days of work, she read every page in the file, shifting through Everett’s notes and copying them into her own language – Everett had a habit of using old words and punctuation that made more sense in the fourteen-hundreds than it did now – but on the day she left, Lauren didn’t take Everett’s notes.

The papers were odd, telling nothing about the genetic disorder either of them carried, but everything about their known biology.

The notes she took with her carried a shortened version of Doctor Everett’s notes. In the back of the car with another scientist, one of Everett’s more-trusted colleagues, Lauren wrote furiously, coming up with a hypothesis, which soon was ruled out.

The drive to neutral territory was long and cold. Lauren, unknowing where they were headed to, had wrapped herself up in thick, warm clothes. But even in the heated car, gloves became necessary rather than optional as they drove. The landscape shifted from cold to snow and eventually they arrived. Lauren climbed out, doing up her jacket as she stared in awe.

Where it was, she had no idea. Except that it was up high, and the place was practically a castle. A château, perhaps.

“This is magnificent,” Lauren whispered, staring up at the building.

“It’s a building,” the scientist dismissed beside her. Lauren looked to him, frowning to herself. There was no pendant around his neck, no claim. He wasn’t human. Taking a breath, she held her tongue. From the five other cars, people spilled out. Quickly, she, along with six others, were shuffled inside by the Ash’s security.

There were moved into a lounge where three others sat already, one of whom, Lauren recognized as a Light Fae Elder. The Ash took a seat across from the woman, and Lauren moved awkwardly to stand with the other scientists. Greetings were held, and Lauren, knowing her place, kept quiet. She was introduced, allowing only a courteous nod before returning to a still expression as the conversation moved from her to the situation.

There she learnt the problem. It wasn’t a genetic disorder, but a disease. A very, very dangerous disease.

The reason why there were at this house was that this was built with quarantine, including a separate sewage system for the quarantined rooms.

Lauren felt the weight of the situation on her shoulders. So far, the disease seemed to only show signs within particular species, but known cases were limited to regions where the fae species were small in diversity. The conversation moved onto the necessary precautions to ensure that ‘others’ didn’t find out about this. Whether humans or fae, Lauren wasn’t sure. The conversation didn’t apply to her.

Lauren was shuffled with the other scientists, given a de-briefing by those she be working with. At a table, she flicked through her notes, listening to the symptoms and known attributes, offering her own suggestion.

_Twice_ she heard sniffed comments about humanity. The first time striking her like a slap to the face, and the second expected. It was there, without Doctor Everett, that Lauren realized how little worth she truly had, even amongst the Light.

She was chattel. Nothing more. Not even a person.

Keeping her head down, she spoke only when necessary. Even then, her opinions were brushed off as irrelevant.

Clearly, she realized, if she was going to make a point, she had to prove it.

In the evening she was dismissed and lead by a six-foot-two woman to her room. A modest room. Fitted with a queen sized bed, a large widow that over looked the alps and the front of the house, and a single desk and chair. Lauren took a breath, the odd feeling in her chest that leaving her room would be unadvised. Instead, she went to where her bags were, flicking through her old and new notes as she tried to better understand what was happening.

It was late when she heard the sound of cars pull up. Rising from the desk, Lauren moved over to the window to see who had pulled up. Four cars, all black with their headlights on had parked at the front of the house. From each car, four people stepped out. Except the first, only two stepped out from the black Mercedes. The driver, and a woman dressed in a charcoal dress, with a fur coat against the cold.

Lauren watched the woman shift the coat on her shoulder, her brown hair tied up and flicked as she turned her head when someone spoke to her. Lauren could only just see her face, but she was too far away. Still, somehow she knew who it was.

A low, warmth pooled through her body as she unconsciously moved closer to the window.

The woman looked to her right, saying something to the driver who replied in turn, nodding up at the building. The woman turned, looking up at Lauren, and smiled a wide, sharp smile.

As Lauren had known, but still found herself surprised by, Evony stood on the snow ground in black heels with a cheeky expression.

Lauren felt the breath exhale from her lungs as she stumbled backwards, out of sight.

The Morrigan was here. Lauren chastised herself, of course the Morrigan was here. The Ash was here on an event that affected both the Light and the Dark, so clearly, so would the Morrigan.

Closing the curtains, Lauren crawled into bed, turning off the light with a heavy thought to Evony. She hadn’t seen her in weeks, but somehow, the woman followed her. The Light Compound’s walls constantly echoing with the name _Morrigan_ , spoken in gossip before someone came along and hushed the topic.

Evony, a constant star in her dreams, whispering against her ear, how _wasted_ her talents were with the Light. How great she’d be with the Dark.

Lauren fell asleep, her heart pounding like a war drum.

* * *

 

A cornered off desk, with half the space of everyone else’s, became Lauren’s working environment. Every word she had to say was ignored, or outright shredded apart with doublespeak. By midday, Lauren felt crescent indents in her palm and a painful ball in her chest. Still, she worked, she kept her mouth shut and she refused to let her own frustration jeopardize the patients’ wellbeing.

Even as it became too much.

It was like being in college again, a child prodigy whose peers looked down upon her because she was a baby in their eyes.

“Look,” one of the scientists said. Light Fae. A woman she’d never met before. “We understand that you admittedly did some good in the Congo with help from the fae,” Lauren’s teeth gritted at the comment, “but this isn’t some small-time germ. This is highly infectious. Maybe you should just keep to double-checking over the notes. Cleaning beakers. That sort of thing.” The words crawled over her skin, casting humiliation on her like a wet blanket.

“Is my work not up to standard?” she asked.

“No, It’s just…” the woman clicked her tongue, mock-sympathy as she stared down at Lauren. “if you got hurt, the Ash wouldn’t be very pleased, what with you being his pet and all. We’re just worried, that’s all. Maybe you should finish early, let someone else take over the rest of your shift.”

“As you wish,” Lauren replied. Turning her away, she felt the gloves on her hands snapped off, placed into a disposal bin. Her coat was removed and placed onto the back a chair as she stalked out of the room.

It wasn’t the worst they’d said. God, it was nothing compared to what she’d heard before. But frustration from the day pressed against her and if she had to stay in that room for another fight minutes, she was going to burst.

Holding her chin up high, she swallowed back the lump in her throat and headed towards her room, intending to grab her notes. However, the château was spacious and Lauren got turned around, entering the wrong room and finding herself in a library by accident. “Shit.” She paused, biting the inside of her cheek as she tried to figure out _how_ she’d ended up here instead of her room.

There were two staircases to the three upper floors, it was possible that she climbed the wrong staircase, or got off the wrong floor.

“Lost?” came a too-familiar voice, breaking her out of thought.

Lauren took a breath, turning to see Evony lying on a chaise lounge with a glass of wine and a book. The cover of the book being something similar to those Lauren had seen in sex shops for $4.99.

“Sorry,” Lauren said. “I-“

“Quite,” Evony said, snapping the book shut. “Well, don’t you look positively frightened.”

Lauren wondered where the Ash was, wondered how much she’d get punished for being out of bounds, and hated herself for being too weak to stand against the Light Fae scientists. “Just lost,” Lauren smiled. “I was looking for the bathroom and got-“

“I’m sure.” Rising from her chair, Evony stepped over in six inch heels, towering over Lauren. Her hair was out, the fur coat missing and Lauren wondered if she did her own make-up or if she had a team of people for that specifically. “How about we stop with the bullshit, hmm? It’s just that I get enough from the Elders as it is.”

It was spoken unkindly, but Lauren felt her back straighten, the words holt in her mouth. Evony peered at her curiously.

“What happened?”

“Nothing,” Lauren lied.

“Nothing?” Evony hummed. “If _nothing_ is doing this to you, I’d hate to see you under pressure.”

Lauren flushed, looking away. “It’s just finding a cure. A lot is riding on this.”

“Mm, I don’t believe you.”

Lauren swallowed, shutting her mouth as she adverted her eyes down to the hardwood floor. She refused to admit that _bullying_ was what crawled under her skin. “It’s nothing,” she said again.

“The Light Fae,” Evony said, taking a sip from her glass, “are traditionalists. They view things very orderly, in clean pretty boxes with shiny red ribbons.” Her voice had turned playful as she looked to Lauren. “You are an exceptional figure of your kind, but they’ll never see that.”

“The Ash-“

“Sees you as an asset, nothing more. Your worth is only as valuable as your ability to produce results. You’re not a peer, nor an employee. To him, you are only a tool. A pretty tool,” Evony said reaching up to lift Lauren’s chin to meet her eyes. “But a tool no-less.”

“And you?” Lauren felt her throat squeeze, regretting the word immediately. Evony passed over them, waving a hand loosely in the air as she stepped back to lean against a table.

“I’d view you as an asset too. In fairness, I don’t see anyone as anything else but.”

“How is that better?”

“Because I find fear a poor motivator,” Evony shrugged. “The Light sees humans as…well, like venison really. They’re careful to not upset the balance, making sure not to over hunt and to keep the environment _just_ right to sustain you, but they rarely grow personal attachment. After all, you’re just food in the end.”

“The Dark wouldn’t view me any better.”

“Not necessarily. The Dark views humans like…rescue pets. Some they take home and feed them well, treating them with gifts and what have you, others….well, the less said the better.” Evony smirked, teasing her. Nervously, Lauren swallowed.

“Is that meant to persuade me to join the Dark?”

“You’ll never be equal, Lauren. Not with the Light or the Dark. I’m not being cruel, it’s just a fact.” Lauren knew that, she’d felt it in her chest, heavily as she was torn apart, over and over, reminded of her humanity. Doctor Everett had hidden that from her. “The Light may dangle false hope in front of you, but the Dark won’t.”

“That’s your selling point?” Lauren asked. “The Dark won’t lie to me?”

“Oh, no, people will lie, it’s in our nature. But I won’t.” Evony smirked.

“That’s what liars say,” Lauren pointed out.

“You’re absolutely true. How about this, I give my oath to you, that I’ll always tell you the truth. There, now I’m bound.”

Lauren frowned. She didn’t know what game Evony was playing at, but it made her nervous. Slowly, she watched Evony step forward, the wine glass placed down on the table as she corned Lauren against a parallel bookshelf. Lifting her chin up, Lauren tried to meet Evony head-on, hiding away her fear, but as a hand slipped up, curling over her jaw, she knew Evony could heard the distinct, heavy sound of her heart beating fearfully.

“What has you so scared, Doctor Lewis?”

The door sounded, from the opposite side of the library, Evony looked away, peering around the shelves. There, in the moment of distraction, Lauren made her escape, slipping out into the hallway before Evony could follow.

She returned back to work, her mood in a state of confusing, body warm from Evony’s touch. Ghosting the fingertips against her jaw.

This time, she didn’t hear the other scientists’ comments. It annoyed them that their comments no longer struck through her armor. Annoyed them enough that they lost interest. However, what annoyed them more was that when the Elders, with the Ash and Morrigan in tow, came to check on their progress, it was Lauren who had shown the most.

“And you didn’t share this findings with the others?” an Elder asked her. Lauren drew her shoulders back, feeling her military training straighten her spine and calm her features.

“I did.”

“Their work doesn’t support this theory.” He turned, looking to the lead scientist. “Did she come to you, Alaric?”

“I-“ he stuttered, conflicted under the Elder’s stare. Lauren had come to him with many theories, she had no doubt that he couldn’t remember what they were. “It may have been mentioned.”

“I would think that the life of two Elders would be reason enough to push past the simple ideal that humans can not achieve. Whatever she may be, Doctor Lewis has exceeded her own species and your findings. Perhaps I should place her in charge of the lab?”

“I apologize. There must have been a miscommunication.” Alaric bowed, eyeing Laure sharply when the Elder no longer paid attention.

“See that it doesn’t happen again.”

Throughout the entire ordeal, Evony’s eyes has studied the room carefully. Lauren saw her read over the notes, carefully looking over Lauren’s hypothesis and findings, before looking to the others. She seemed to pay no attention to the scientists, or anyone else in the room.

When the Elders and the Ash all filed out of the room, one by one, Evony paused, holding Lauren’s notes.

“I want a copy of these,” she said to her. “My team has come to a breakthrough elsewhere, this may help them finish the results they need. I expect it on my desk this evening,” her eyes flicked over the notes, smirking as she looked up at Lauren.

“How?”

“Photocopy it, re-write it-“

“No, I mean, how do I get it to you?” Lauren asked.

Evony’s lip parted. Reaching over, she picked up Lauren’s pen, flicking open the notebook to write on the back page. Bent over, she wrote fluidly on the page before closing it, moving to hand it back to Lauren. “I’ll see you then,” she said, dropping the pen and notebook in her hands. “Ta, darling.”

Lauren flicked open the notebook. Written in sharp, elegant handwriting were three lines worth of information. Instructions to her room and a time. Lauren felt her stomach drop. She couldn’t do that, going to the Morrigan’s room would be a type of treason.

Snapping it shut, she looked over to the other scientists. Even if they weren’t actively staring at her, Lauren knew they were listening. They knew what situation she was in, they knew it was treason, and there was a good chance that they’d tell the Ash.

She couldn’t go to Evony’s room.

But, it turned out she didn’t need to. After a long day’s work, her mind heavy and her shift over, she returned to her room, only to find Evony poised on her desk, reading through her notebook.

Lauren shut the door behind her, gaping at the woman, looking from the door to her. “How?” she managed.

“Tumble lock. Easy, and going by your history, you should have known that too.” Lauren felt her throat swell. She was aware that the Ash knew of her history, he’d mentioned it in passing and never brought up again, but Evony? “You’re awfully quiet.”

“Stunned,” she managed.

Evony peered from the notes, looking at her, “I knew you were a genius, Lauren, but these notes are absolutely _fascinating_.”

Lauren paused, blinking. “You can understand them?”

“Are you questioning my intelligence?”

“More my legibility.”

Evony smiled, turning back to the book. “Good answer. And yes, I have experience with bad handwriting, thought it’s a cliché with doctors,” she smiled to herself, seeming to find herself hilarious.

Clearing her throat awkwardly, Lauren stepped away from the door, looking to the notes she’d made for Evony. “Are you here for my notes?”

“No, I have a good idea of them already,” she snapped the notebook shut, placing it on the table beside her. “Your room’s bugged by the way.”

“It is?”

“Well, I should hope so, I bugged it. ”

Lauren sighed, moving over to place the re-written notes on the desk, beside one of Evony’s legs. The woman shifted her legs, intentionally hiking the dark blue dress she wore, up her thighs. There was a sliver of lace from her stockings on show, enough that Lauren averted her eyes.

“Why did you bug my room?” she asked, looking up at the Morrigan. The woman grinned, enjoying herself, knowing where Lauren’s thought laid.

There was no use pretending. As Evony had told her, she was a sex fae. Seduction and sexuality were her areas of expertise.

“Well, I think that’s obvious, I wanted to see what the Ash’s favorite is up to.”

“Wouldn’t knowing that I’m bugged defeat the purpose of bugging the room?”

“Perhaps I wanted to hear what you say when you think about me between your legs.” Lauren felt her heart stop, her mouth falling slack is an unspoken _how_? Evony laughed, moving to stand from the table onto her heels. “Oh, you do, don’t you?” she pressed forward, eyes running over Lauren’s face. “Do tell.”

“That…” Lauren felt her cheeks flush, “That was trick.”

“You’re absolutely correct,” Evony said. Lauren didn’t know how, but she found herself pressed against the wall, Evony’s hands on either side of her. “So tell me, Lauren, how do I sound?”

“I-“ Lauren’s throat stopped, the words in her mouth unable to be spoken. Suddenly, she remembered her back against a mattress, Nadia knelt over her, lips against her ears, asking her to tell her exactly what she wanted. The situations differed now, but paralleled enough that Lauren felt electricity strike through her core. “Ah…”

“Am I loud?” she prompted. “Do I scream your name? Or maybe I just plead to you for that _little_ bit more? Or,” she paused, eyes flicking between Lauren’s. “do you just imagine me fucking you until you beg to come?” the last sentence was spoken low, and Lauren felt it pool warmly in her belly.

Letting out a breathless sigh, her back slid down the wall when her knees slackened. Turning her head away, she stared at the bedroom door. No, dammit, no. She refused to let Evony take control of the situation. Taking a breath, she moved away from Evony, ducking underneath her arm to move across the room, where the curtains were closed against the window.

Evony pouted, mocking before she moved to lean against the wall, staring across at her. “Was I too much?” she asked.

“No,” Lauren replied. Then recoiled, snapping a short. “Yes. Maybe. I don’t know!” She took a breath, breathing in deeply before exhaling. “I have a girlfriend. As enjoyable as sex would be, my loyalties stand with her.”

Evony nodded, her expression softening. “You humans and monogamy are so tiring,” she said, tilting her head. “However, if that is what you want, then I shall leave.” She pushed off the wall, grabbing the notes from Lauren’s desk before stopping and looking up at Lauren.

Lauren moved forward on instinct, allowing herself within proximity of the Morrigan. Before nerves could cast alight inside of her, Evony leant forward, pressing a kiss to Lauren’s cheek. A soft sight slipped from Lauren at the kiss, a twisted disappointment rising inside of her from the kiss being to her cheek.

“Good evening, Doctor Lewis. I do so hope you sleep well.”

“I will. Thank you.”

Evony smirked, pulling away and leaving the room with the soft _click_ from the door shutting.

* * *

 

The next two weeks, Lauren worked. The Ash came and left infrequently, returning to Toronto to deal with business, as, Lauren presumed, did the Morrigan.

Samples were taken from the patients, Lauren primarily in charge of the Light Fae Elder when her natural immunity was found. With that in mind, a breakthrough was made as Lauren’s experience in the Congo gave her insight to why the fae were begin affected.

Then, disaster struck.

The Dark Fae elder was found dead one morning, and though at first it was suspected to be due to the end cycle of the disease, it was soon discovered that foul play was the cause. Evony was furious, grabbing one of her own people by the neck and hoisting them off their feet as she _demanded_ to know how such a fuck-up had happened under their watch.

Lauren heard of the incident in whispers. “She didn’t kill him,” one of the scientist said.

“Of course she didn’t,” Alaric replied. “Evony needs her team. She’ll figure out who was at fault, let them finish their work, and then, just as they think they’ve redeemed them self, she’ll kill them.”

“Probably outside,” the scientist replied. “Her kills tend to be-”

“Her,” a voice broke in the lab. The Ash’s. Lauren turned, confused before two men pressed on either side of her.

“Place your work down, remove your gloves.”

“Wh-?”

They grabbed her, placing her work away from her, the gloves snapped off and disposed, lab jacket ripped from her arms and tossed away. Lauren yelped, feeling herself grabbed and torn away from her cornered work desk, out into the hall. She was pulled past the Ash.

He reached out, and her necklace, his mark of protection, was snapped from her neck. She stared, hurt and confused at his indifferent. “Downstairs.” Then it dawned on her. She was being blamed for the Dark Fae Elder.

“No,” she said, fighting against the fae holding her. “I didn’t- I- _let me go!”_

“Use any force necessary,” the Ash said.

“No!” Lauren felt a hand grab her hair, twisting to look into the face of a very tall, broad man. “I didn’t do it,” she told him. “Please, let me go and I’ll explain-“

Her hair was tugged violently, her arm jerked and twisted by the other guard. Lauren felt herself relax, giving in to the inevitable. She watched the carpet beneath her feet, teardrops slipping down onto the ground, before she was brought down stairs and cast into a cell, her head slamming against the wall.

The cell was tiny.

“Please,” she said, crawling onto her feet, dizzy as she watched the cell door shut. “Please, let me explain. I can prove I didn’t do it- _please!_ ”

“Under orders of the Ash, you will be executed at sunrise for murdering a Dark Fae Elder, and attempting to break the truce between Light and Dark.”

Lauren’s heart dropped. Her stomach convulsing painfully as the men left. A short whimper turned into a loud, “Please, no, no!” before nothing but an incoherent scream could be heard, echoing the walls of the cell. Lauren’s thoughts crying out not for her own life, forfeit to the fae, but for Nadia’s, lying still and unaware of the consequences of Lauren’s actions.

Her hands squeezed at the metal bars, throat hoarse. Finally, she fell back, staring at darkness, crying to herself as the cold took over, her body shaking violently until exhausted. She dreamt of nothing.

“Up,” a voice demanded, lulling her out of the darkness.

Lauren blinked, aware of an open door and a person standing above her. She refused to move, intent on making it as difficult for them as possible.

“I didn’t do it,” she mumbled.

“We’re aware. Up.” She was dragged onto her feet, confused as large hands held her in place. “You’re lucky you know?”

Lauren laughed bitterly, confused to what was happening. “How?” she asked, blinking at the person. She turned away from the bright light, catching enough of a glimpse to know it was the same fae who grabbed her hair, tugging at her.

“The Morrigan had your room bugged. Turns out, you were asleep the entire time it happened. Though why she even bother to shared that information is beyond me. She could have saved it until after your death.”

“I’m grateful for you sincerity,” she snapped. He dropped her, letting her fall to the ground before hoisting her up again.

“Now what do you say?”

“I’m sorry. That was…out of line.”

“Good girl.”

She was lead upstairs, to her room, and given a meal, told to sleep before she’d begin working tomorrow. There was no apology, no _sorry for making you think you were going to die_. Just, ‘eat, sleep, go to work’.

Lauren awoke to the sound of pages turning. Blinking, she looked up to see Evony sitting on her desk again, reading the same book she’d been reading in the library. “You,” Lauren whispered, sitting up as she pushed the covers off. Her voice mumbled, the words there, unarticulated.

“Me,” Evony replied, turning the page.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Another page, before the book was lowered, Evony’s eyes on hers. “The Ash knows you’re special, but he doesn’t quite know to what _extent_ ,” she said. “I do.”

Of course, Lauren thought. Evony proved her innocence, only because she was still of worth. Climbing out of the bed, Lauren drank a glass of water on her bedside. Then went to the bathroom, cleaning her teeth. When she came out, Evony was poised on the end of the bed looking up at her expectantly.

“They put me in a cell, they were prepared to kill me without question,” Lauren said. Not necessarily to Evony, but to someone who would listen.

“We always will be,” she told her. “The Light are a little more rigid. Doesn’t matter how much worth you are, rules are rules to their tight asses.”

“And the Dark?”

“If you’re more use alive than dead, we’ll make an exception,” Evony smirked. “It was one of the Light Fae scientists by the way. Jealousy maybe, or need to start a war for the fun of it and you were easy to blame, who knows.” She shrugged, not caring for the motivations. “But you’re alive, and they’re dead.”

Lauren felt numb. Opening her hand, Evony head out the Ash’s mark.

“Symbol of the sun, it’s so…self-centered and tacky,” Evony sighed.

“What’s your mark?” Lauren didn’t know why she asked. Curiosity was dull inside of her, perhaps it was out of need to hear Evony keep talking, pretend that everything was okay.

“Triskelion,” Evony replied happily. Standing up, she moved to stand behind Lauren. Without shoes, Lauren found herself significantly shorter than Evony in heels.

Lauren scooped her hair, pulling it over one shoulder to allow the Morrigan to clasp the chain around her neck. When it was done, Lauren turned around to face her. “Thank you,” she said again.

Taking Lauren’s chin, Evony tilted her face up to see her. It was an opening, she realized.

Lauren felt her breath pull in, a moment of hesitation before she pressed up on her toes and crushed her lips to the Morrigan. There was no guilt that spat inside of her. No fear. Only desperation that shivered down her spine, coiling tightly in her chest.

But it was excitement that kept her going as she slid her hand over the back Evony’s throat, kissing her not out of thanks, or even out of desire to feel the woman’s lips against hers – though desire heated through her when Evony’s teeth slid over her bottom lip, sucking until Lauren moaned.

Lauren kissed her because she wanted to feel alive.

And as her hand curled around the Morrigan’s neck and waist, wrenching her closer as she tugged on the woman’s bottom lip, the feeling of mint still hissing on her tongue when she tasted Evony’s against hers. Lauren could feel her heart beating in chest.

Evony’s hand was curled in her hair, before it let go, slipping down, over breasts and cotton. Lauren felt it squeeze over her heart, nails dragging against her as she arched into the grasp, her own hands clutching at Evony spine. Gasping, she felt Evony’s lips hover, a short lick darting across her mouth, before kissing her again.

Nails scrapped down Lauren’s side, hooking at the hem of the shirt before it began lifting it up and over Lauren’s head, breaking away from the kiss only briefly before pressing their lips together again once she’d removed the shirt. Then her hands slid over Lauren’s back, pulling her flush against her as she walked them both to the bed.

Lauren’s hands had accidentally found Evony’s zipped and moved to tug it down when a knock sounded. There, her knees hit the edge of the bed, collapsing to sit on it as she stared in shock. Terror filled her, scenarios running in her head of being caught topless before the Morrigan, when the voice said, “You’re due for your shift in fifteen minutes.”

“Understood,” Lauren said, after hesitation. Her hands dropped, at her sides, painfully aware of her own half-dressed state as she closed her eyes. Her lips were swollen, chest heaving and a near painful throb pulled between her thighs.

“Shame,” Evony said, smoothing over her dress and moving to face a mirror. She fixed her make up, combing fingers through her hair before she looked over her shoulder, smirking at Lauren. “Go shower, doctor. You smell like you’ve been in a cell.”

Lauren blinked, an absurd laughter rising in her throat. She’s showered the night before, scouring her skin. “I think it’ll linger.”

“Perhaps,” she hummed. “Well, as enjoyable as it could have been, I’m sure you’re about to come to a breakthrough,” she smirked, moving to the door before pausing. “Oh, and a word of advice. If I were you, I’d be very careful to pretend that nothing happened here.”

Lauren blinked, her brow pulling together. “Being falsely accursed of murder and treason against-“

“Well the last is hardly _false_ accusation,” Evony said. “But if my subordinate came to me and questioned both my authority and orders, I may throw them in a cell again for no reason, just to show that I could.” Lauren swallowed, nodding. “Good, it’d be a shame to see you incased in iron again.”

As Evony left the room, Lauren felt her mood shift bitterly. But there, with her thoughts beginning to cool, Lauren had an epiphany for the cure.


	3. it's the disease of the age, it's the disease that we crave

8\. Phone sex

“You did well,” Everett told her on her return. There was no mention of the imprisonment, or of how close to execution she’d been. Taking Evony’s advice, Lauren kept her mouth shut.

But the words didn’t leave, they couldn’t be swallowed back. Every night she’d gasp awake, hand at her throat as she looked for her executioner in the bedroom. It came, and came and every fear she’d ever had, came with it, circling around the nightmare.

Afghanistan came back, Interpol fears cropping up, but it was the fae that took majority reoccurrence in her nightmares. Her apartment her prison. She couldn’t stay there.

She’d taken to sleeping next to Nadia, where waking in the stark room would immediately show her that there were no iron bars confining her, no lingering death, only the ache in her spine from sleeping on the floor. But it was Nadia she longed for.

For the two years after Afghanistan, Nadia had been there to soothe every nightmare, ever fear, however Lauren needed her to. She’d been the one to drag her to a professional, scolding Lauren that there was no weakness is asking for help.

It was out of hope that Lauren slept beside her now. Hope didn’t quell her fears. She still awoke in the bright room, a gasp in her throat, but aware of her surroundings. At least that was better than a dark bedroom where her mind couldn’t piece the differences between reality and dream.

It’d been ridiculous to hope that Everett would listen to her, that she’d ask what happened, or maybe she’d know and reach out to comfort her. The death of the Light Fae scientist was hardly a kept secret, so she doubted her own imprisonment would be either. But no words were spoken. No one reached out for her.

And not for the first time, Lauren looked around the medical ward and realized that she was all alone. Her colleagues may not speak their prejudices near or around Doctor Everett, but Lauren knew, deep within her, that they all thought them. Even her mentor.

Rather than rationally dealing with this, she closed it off, choosing rather to take what was offered. Small praise, here and there, a well-deserved nod. It wasn’t much, less than others received, but it was at least, something.

It was a week after her time in the alps that Lauren was looking through her phone, meaning to find Everett’s number and ask for a missing file, when she came across a new number stored in her phone. Her phone was hers, it rarely left her side in case of emergencies, so it took only a few confused moments to remember Evony sitting in her room as she slept. No doubt, having perused through the uninteresting contents of the mobile device and found nothing else to do, she’d placed the number in there.

Though as to _why_ Lauren couldn’t figure out. It was obviously a game of some sort, but there was still no rational reason as to _why_ the Morrigan insisted on chasing after her.

She hovered over the number, curious to write, to say something, but reason won out. She chose to ignore it, opting to scroll for _Elena Everett_. There were only twenty-seven contacts in the phone so far, Evony’s number stuck out.

It imprinted in Lauren’s mind, the way everything else about the Morrigan had.

Sometimes, in the middle of work, Lauren was struck by the sudden remembrance of Evony’s hand in her hair, tugging gently to ease her mouth open; teeth against her lip, sliding over in a tease; or the way she sounded, a soft exhale of disappointment in Lauren’s ears, when she fell away.

The encounter was sharp in her mind, the memory of how bitterness had rose in her gut before suddenly been taken from her in a wave of euphoria.

Lauren rang Doctor Everett, asking for the location of the file, before she returned back to work. Though she stood in her lab, it was not experiments that occupied her attention, but rather the paperwork that followed when dealing with patients. Only the third week of every month, she was allowed two days to station herself within the lab. A special occasion.

Today was not that day.

She didn’t mind paperwork. Paperwork, after a long day, was refreshing. She could tick the right boxes, empty her mind onto the contents of the page, then neatly tuck the files away. It was ordered, structured, easy.

But that evening, it was difficult. The phone sat in her pocket, solid, and _there_ , pressing against her as she wrote on the clipboard. A constant reminder that she had Evony’s number, how easy it would be to dial that number and feel Evony’s finger slide through her hair, lips hushing any doubts Lauren felt. She could almost feel Evony tugging the lab coat down her shoulders, the image sharp and frightening in her mind.

It would be bad to contact her.

Not just because it was treason, or because of how the fae would react if they found out. But Evony was like rich wine, that spilt over her tongue and flowed in her bloodstream. She made her mind clouded and her body malleable against her touch.

She was dangerous.

But god, Evony made her feel the closest to herself since Nadia. The need for that, to have someone who made her feel _real_ , who would maybe talk to her about what happened…

Or not. Evony had better things to attend to, and so did she, starting with one paperwork about why their morphine stock was significantly reduced (berserker, high resistance).

* * *

 

Over the next few days, the fae tested her. Overall, people whose lives had been saved were generally quite thankful and there was begrudging respect growing for her – only when Doctor Everett made sharp comments. It was _something_ , but still a long way from anything substantial.

Lauren felt her heart bloom and ache in the same breath when a patient would thank her out of politeness, reserving the gushing for a number of any of the other staff members. Or a polite comment spoken, before bringing up her amazing ability to ‘overcome’ her limitations of humanity.

Ideally, she knew she shouldn’t be working for thanks. She was saving lives, that in itself was rewarding. But…

It’d be nice to be credited. Really, truly credited without a backhand comment in the same breath.

Instead, she kept working, kept moving forward, and every night she’d stay in overtime, preferring to do the day’s paperwork then, rather than to allow it to accumulate over the week and be struggling on her day off to finish it in time.

Paperwork should be easy, but without the busy day-to-day actives occupying her mind, it became difficult to forget the phone in her pocket, the number that she hovered over more than once in the past days.

It was a friday when Lauren gave in. Not at the office, but in the safety of her apartment after she caught the _fifth_ mistake on her paperwork.

She told herself she just needed to call once, get it out of her system. If Evony didn’t pick up, Lauren would delete the number, as she should have done earlier.

Evony picked up on the fourth ring.

“You know, _three days_ is the general rule of thumb. After then a girl suspects that you’re not interested.” Lauren felt the blush pool over her cheeks. “Then again, I assume you’ve been busy with menial work meant for someone with a third of your intelligence, hmm?”

“I-“ _ah_. Crap.

“Yes, dear?”

“Hi?”

“Hello, Doctor Lewis. What have you been up to this evening?”

 _Oh_ . Lauren felt her self stutter, then speak, her day coming out is hesitated bites, then all at once, from the troll to the siren with a gunshot wound in his abdomen, and the harpy going through menopause. It ended with a short, “Sorry, I just-“

“No, no, it’s quite fascinating. I admit, I don’t spend much time in the medical clinic here, perks of healing through other means, I suppose.”

A shiver ran down Lauren’s spine, the idea of what _other means_ could be. Sex, she assumed, though there were many sex fae, and sex fae-crossbreeds, that healed through a variety of others methods. She almost wanted to ask, then quickly shut that thought down. It wasn’t polite conversation.

“So,” Evony prompted, “what finally prompted you to dial that number in your phone?”

“I knew it was you,” Lauren said, finding her tone surprisingly playful. “I mean, you’re the only person who’s had the opportunity to access my phone, so…” there was a pause and Lauren took a breath before spilling out, “though I’m not sure why you put you’re number in the first place or how you’d know I’d ring or-“

“There were about four contacts in the phone-“

“Twenty-seven.”

“-And I knew you’d check on it eventually and see my number. I had expected it earlier, but, no matter.”

Lauren smiled, chuckling softly. Just listening to Evony now made her heart slow and firm in her chest, the ache leaving. She shouldn’t enjoy it, however. Sometime soon, she was going to force herself to get off the phone and place it down and delete the number forever.

But it didn’t happen. Conversation flowed, moving from Evony’s day in a prompted silence, to pieces of each of their histories in the nineties – both their times being drastically different but sharing embarrassing tales nonetheless – when Evony’s attention was taken elsewhere, giving a short, unimpressed “Apparently I have to leave, something supposedly life-threatening is requiring my immediate attention. I’ll call you tomorrow.” Lauren realized that she’d been on the phone for the better part of nearly two hours.

Two hours.

Where she’d poured herself a glass of white and settled on her couch, laughing, and joking and feeling _relaxed_.

With the leader of the _Dark Fae_.

Then her stomach rumbled and Lauren remembered she had to eat, because it was something to distract herself away from remembering Evony’s voice and thinking of how else it could sound.

While she prepared dinner, she tried not to think about their conversations, about her laugh or the way she could make so many every-day things sound so sexual.

It didn’t work.

Her meal was prepared in fifteen, and her fingers shook the better half of the preparation. She took slow breaths until her fingers relaxed and her heart slowed from the panic. Then she took two more, re-hydrated herself, and told herself firmly that she’ll delete the number there and then.

Lauren fell asleep in her bed, the phone next to the table. Evony didn’t ring until Sunday.

And on Sunday, Lauren was pulled away into an emergency call shortly after. But it was Monday when things changed, by then, Lauren knew she was in over her head. Way over head, and she’d already gone through all the mental procedures on how to politely say that, yes, while she enjoyed it and though it still rested in ‘innocent’ territory – or rather as innocent as you could get when Evony was teasing her playfully – she had to put an end to this, sooner rather than later.

Because it was treason. She was speaking with the enemy. And she had a girlfriend.

But Monday came and Lauren rang Evony in the evening, her paperwork well and truly finished. Evony greeted her with, “Excellent, just the scientist I needed. Tell me, what do you know about poisons that only affected particular species of fae?”

Lauren found the words she went to say disappearing from her mind as files filled her thoughts on the range of fae DNA. Kelpies and goblins and maenads being the first to come to mind. “What type of fae?”

“The details don’t matter. Hypothetically, could it be done?“

“Yes, But, actually, the details do matter. Certain fae biology is more susceptible to certain elements than others. Fairies have a particular allergy to iron, where as vampires can’t ingest coagulated blood that-“

“So,” Evony cut, “Let’s say that there was a meeting held with very powerful figures today, and we all drank from the same contents, cameras showing that neither the glass not the drink post-poured was contaminated. Could someone, knowing we would be using that particular bottle for that evening, add something to the liquor?”

Lauren smiled. It almost felt like a test. “It would depend on the fae, and it’d have to be something specialized to them that wouldn’t affect the others.”

“Like what?”

“Well, it depends on the type of fae. It could be a plant, a flower, roots, certain chemicals in pure forms, something as simple as tree nuts, or-“

“Narrow it down.”

“What happened to him?”

“Lungs were burned. Insides all messy like he swallowed acid or whatever, I don’t know. He started coughing up blood and it was a disgusting mess. What caused that?”

Lauren huffed, growing frustration. “You have to tell me what type of fae he was.”

“Do you know how rude that question is?”

“No less rude than your doctor asking your recent sexual history when going for a check up. To properly help you, I’ll need more details.”

“Fine,” she said, the word sounding as petulant as a twelve-year-old. “If you really must know, he was a crossbreed.”

“A crossbreed of what?”

“Something, I don’t know.” Lauren sighed, listening as rustling papers filled her ear. “Oh, here it is. He was a merperson, merman I sup-“

“Fresh water,” Lauren replied.

Evony was quiet. Then a low, warm chuckle filled Lauren’s ear. “Well, now. Aren’t you the resource of information?”

“I was with a patient not long ago,” she explained. “Minor injuries sustained due to _rain_. Apparently they don’t like that fact known about them.”

“Oh, Doctor Lewis, if you were only here,” Evony sighed. “I would have you running the medical facility. If they only knew your abilities…”

Lauren smiled. Everett had mentioned that if she continued her work, it was conceivable that in ten years, she’d be running the Light Fae medical. An achievable goal, that Lauren didn’t desire to work towards. Not truly.

“Though I suspect you’d be more inclined towards the labs,” Evony said. “If you ever leave the Light, I could make that happen.”

“Promises,” Lauren spoke wistfully. Labs, science, experiments. Her heart thundered against her ribs, thinking of the sterile environment, of the paperwork, of the research she’d be in charge of. Her patients not coming to her because of a broken bone, but actually doing _good_ in the world.

It was tempting, and Evony knew it.

“As you prefer. Though, seeing as how my own team is incompetent, maybe I should ask for your consultation on the odd, important case. Occupy your mind while the Light bores you.”

“I…” Lauren swallowed. “I shouldn’t even be speaking to you.”

“No, you shouldn’t, and yet here you are.”

Lauren didn’t reply. Her throat swelling as she realized the impact of what she was doing.

“Take a breath, Doctor Lewis. I assure you that everything is fine, right now. Consultation across borders is just frowned upon, not illegal.”

Lauren took a breath, nodding. Then, realizing that Evony could see, she whispered a short. “Okay.”

Over the weeks, Evony rang her up three times. Lauren found herself excited for the phone call, her movements jittery the next day, feet bouncing off the feelings caused from Evony’s praise. The first two times being soft, lovely praises spoken by her. “A true asset,” followed by, “Oh, Lauren, why don’t you come to the Dark. You would be challenged as you deserve.”

Everett would call Lauren out, mentioning how smiley she seemed to be. On one occasion, a colleagues snickered about pulling out the stick being pulled from her ass, and still, Lauren’s smile held on. Looser than before, but there.

The third praise was different. It’d been a month since Lauren first rung Evony, and the phone call was in the evening, edging somewhere close to late in the evening hours. Evony had laughed, pleased with Lauren’s reply, when she said, “Really, I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“No, you shouldn’t,” Lauren teased back.

“Mm, well, if you were here I would have you on my desk.”

“Your desk?”

“Mm. Or the floor. I’d hate to make you clean up all the paperwork I tossed off, even if it would be fun to watch.”

There, Lauren’s mind clicked, her breath pulling; a short “O-oh,” sounding in her throat.

“There we go.”

“I see,” Lauren felt it warmth in her belly, imagining herself strewn across Evony’s desk, the woman’s fingers buried in the dark slacks Lauren wore. Shutting her eyes, she resisted the wanton moan.

Lauren had been good as of late. She’d resisted the urge to slide fingers through coarse hair, and bring herself to another climax. It didn’t stop the dreams, the familiar memory of Evony’s perfume and the feeling of her teeth and tongue, but it stopped the guilt.

“Why?” she asked.

“Why what?” Evony returned.

“Why… _that_. I mean. Why?”

“Oh darling, if you have to ask…”

“I am asking,” Lauren said. She didn’t know what to expect. The question wasn’t about _sex_ about why Evony, in that moment, wanted to sleep with her. She understood attraction, understood desire well; biologically, chemically and personally. She was asking _why_. Why her, why this game, _why_.

“I want you,” Evony said casually, as if it could summarize everything in a tidy, simple way. It didn’t.

“But why? For the Dark, because this is a game, because you’re bored-”

“All of that and more,” Evony said. “I want you, Doctor Lewis. I want you working for me, I want you in my bed. I mean, the moment I met you I could see your potential everywhere. In science, in music, language and art. You don’t just have _talent_ , you are…extraordinary. And I like extraordinary things. I like _having_ extraordinary things more.”

“I…” Lauren paused, feeling the conflict inside of her. “I’m not sure if I’m complimented or insulted,” she said truthfully.

“What did you want to hear?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, what didn’t you like?” Lauren shut her eyes, frustrated. This wasn’t what she expected. “You said you felt insulted. I’m sure I could guess, but I’d prefer you to say it.”

“You talk about me like I’m something to _own_ ,” Lauren said. “Something to obtain, chattel.”

“You are. Everyone is. You’re an asset, Lauren. Just as I am to the Dark, and Elijah is to the Light. We are only ever valued for our use.”

“That’s just _horrible!”_ Lauren spat. “That’s not a way to live.”

“No, but we like feeling valued.”

“I don’t!”

“You enjoy feeling wanted. It’s the same thing.”

“No it’s not!”

“Yes it is. But let’s not discuss this further, it’s upsetting. Tell me what you liked?” she asked. “What made you feel complimented?”

“What?”

“About what I said of you. You told me that you were conflicted about your feelings, so, what was the positive feelings.” Lauren blinked, confused.

Evony was…strange. The way she jumped from one conversation to another as she pleased. It was frustrating most of the time, especially now. She didn’t want the conversation to end. She didn’t _believe_ what Evony had said.

But she answered: “I guess…the word extraordinary. I’ve never been…”

“Extraordinary? Well, you were always were.” Lauren didn’t reply, her thoughts confused, the word soured by the previous conversation. Evony may have a point, but Lauren still didn’t believe it. Value and _want_ were two different things. Sociopaths _valued_ , people _cared_ and loved. And you could love valueless things for sentimental reasons.

She had recipe books her grandmother had given her, that were of little use to her now, they were essentially valueless to her, but she kept them because they were all she had left of her grandmother. That was something, wasn’t it?

“I wonder,” Evony spoke out loud, catching Lauren from her thoughts. “Do you ever do something for yourself?”

“What do you mean?”

“Something.” Lauren could picture Evony gesturing, “Not for your girlfriend, not for the fae, or humanity, but you. Do you ever do something for you?”

“Yes,” Lauren replied.

“Really?” Lauren’s nose scrunched up at the scrutiny in her voice.

“Yes,’” Lauren said. Then quickly adding, “I didn’t delete your number.”

There was a quiet, and the words held, hanging in the air between them both. Lauren’s eyes shut, her cheeks casting pink. She shouldn’t have admitted that, regardless of the truth of the words. Then, Evony spoke again. “I want you to do something else. Something _you_ want whatever it may be.” Lauren felt a protest rising in her throat, thinking about Everett, the fae, the Ash. “Nothing grand, just _do_ something selfish, don’t think about anyone else.”

“I-“

“Eat a whole block of chocolate, the last slice of pizza, stay up all night masturbating, splurge on new books, _whatever_ it is you want to do, do it. But it has to be what _you_ want to do. And then, I want you to ring me tomorrow and tell me what you did. That’s an _order_ , Doctor Lewis.”

The receiver clicked off. Lauren looked at her phone, blinking at it in surprise.

She knew, deep down she knew that if Lauren rang her up and said she stayed up all night finishing her star trek marathon which, yes, she wanted to do, Evony would be disappointed.

Because Lauren knew what Evony wanted her to do. And Lauren knew what she wanted more than Seven of Nine or Catherine Janeway.

She stared at the phone, half expecting Evony to ring back. Then, when she sure she wouldn’t, she shut off the lights in the house one by one. She undressed, then showered, brushed her teeth and finally, she placed on a cotton shirt and pants and slipped into bed. Evony’s words, her praise, staying in Lauren’s ear until she fell asleep.

She disobeyed, the weight of it sitting in her, whispering that she could do it, just later, Evony didn’t have to know she waited. But the next evening came, and when she knew it was time to ring Evony, Lauren stared at the phone, and thought of a lie.

“So,” Evony’s voice said when she rang. “What did you do?”

The lie was there, Lauren felt it lift in her throat, went to sound it out with her tongue and voice. The word, “Nothing,” coming out instead.

Dammit. She cursed herself, eyes falling shut as she swallowed the lie away. It was too late. Evony hummed quietly, before a pause fell over them. In the silence, Lauren imagined the Morrigan reclining back in an office chair as she thought over the predicament.

She should have done it, Lauren realized, thinking over last night, over now, of what she should be doing. She could feel disapproval weighing on her. Guilt that sat thick and sticky in her gut. Evony would never speak to her, she thought. Disapproval would turn to disappointment, punishment would be quick and severe, and penance would be needed.

As it was with the Light.

Then, just as Lauren went to say something, anything to break the unnatural silence, Evony spoke. “I see.”

“Sorry?” Lauren said.

“Oh, I don’t require a sorry, you’re the one who went through her day being selfless. How boring.”

“That’s not true,” Lauren fought. “I’m not selfless.”

“No, I suppose not. You’re practical, however, which is just as boring, if not more so.”

Lauren sighed, bowing her head. “Sorry,” she said again, meaning it this time.

“Oh honey, you don’t need to apologize to _me_. It’s you that’s suffering. I mean, really, can you remember the last day that you were _happy_?”

Happiness, Lauren thought, was not something to achieve. It was a bonus, an addition to everything else. She didn’t join the fae to be happy, she didn’t become a scientist to be happy. The only thing that made her happy was, “Nadia,” she answered.

“Ah,” Evony replied. “Well, that’s another situation entirely.”

Lauren hummed, an ache settling inside of her. She missed her girlfriend, her _partner_. She’d take the worst of their arguments and more for a single night longer with her.

“How were you and Nadia?” Evony asked curiously. “Relationship wise before the Congo fiasco.”

“Well. We were…” Planning, Lauren thought. She remembered the call from the jeweler painfully. An engagement ring that Nadia had put down a deposit on. There’d been conversations, real ones, on family, on her history. She’d even opened up to Nadia about the truth, the first person to have known.

Of course that had ended with a fight and Nadia turning up on her doorstep two weeks later, drenched from the rain at four in the morning. _“How dare you walk into my life and make me love you. I hurt. I hurt every day and it’s all your fucking fault. And you…you lied to me. I love you and you lied to me and that’s not okay.”_

She missed every day.

“So…” Evony hummed, drawing her out of her thoughts.

“ _Good_ ,” Lauren said, the word dragging out painfully. “We were so…”

“You were moving to the next stage, I take it.”

“We were.”

“And do you think she would have wanted you to be happy?” Evony asked. “Let’s move pass the niceties of maybe she’ll wake up, maybe she won’t, and work on the fact that _if_ you do find a way to wake her up, it’ll be a very long time from now, will it not?”

“She…yes, yes it would.”

“So, she’d want you to be happy.”

“I-“

“How about this. If the situations were reversed, would you expect her to spend night and day hanging over your bed, feeling guilty about whom she may be on the phone to, because let’s be honest, I know that that eats away at you and really darling, isn’t that just ridiculous?”

“Well…” Lauren paused, a lump in her throat. “No, it’s more compli-

“So, would want her to be happy?”

“I…would. _Yes_ , but-”

“Exactly. If she wakes up, _when_ she wakes up, she’ll want you to have been happy. So, how about you worry less about Nadia and more about _yourself,_ hmm? A happy worker, after all, is more productive and you’ll be a step closer to finding a cure.”

Lauren felt a bittersweet laugh hum in her chest. “You sound like some marketing scheme.”

“Worst ten years of my life,” she said, as if answering the question. “But it _is_ true.”

“Sure,” Lauren said, the word sounding more cynical than she intended.

“ _Excellent_. Now, how about you go and do something _just_ for you. Don’t worry about Nadia, I’m sure she’d want you to be happy, however that may be, and don’t have a fit about the fae, all they care is that you’re a busy bee, doing all their dirty work without needing to be paid.”

“I’m sure,” Lauren replied dryly.

“Good. So you’ll do something, just for you. I’m sure there was _something_ that you wanted to do last night that tricked yourself out of doing, am I right?”

After a pause, Lauren replied “Yes.”

“So you’ll do it?”

“Yes,” she said again, swallowing. Evony knew, now. She knew what she was going to do, knew that she would be doing it. And god, probably knew where her thoughts would lie while doing it.

“Do you promise?”

Lauren felt her heart pound. It was such a flirt of a question, catching Lauren off-guard. “Sure,” she replied, her voice sounding hoarse. “No problem.”

“Good, you should do something now, so I know you mean it. Just start off and I’ll hang up when I’m satisfied.”

The pounding stopped suddenly, her cheeks turning hot and pink. “What?“

“I said, just start, dear. Is your hearing going? I really thought that happened later in life for humans.”

Lauren thoughts were running in circles, picturing herself with her jeans undone, orgasming her voice into the phone’s receiver. “You want to _listen_?”

“You make it sound as if I’d asked you to do something audacious that– _oh_!” Evony’s voice perked up in Lauren’s ear, practically a purr as she continued. “Oh, Lauren, do tell me what you wanted to do last night.”

“I…it was nothing,” Lauren felt her cheeks color, realizing her mistake. Oh god, no, no, no! Evony _had_ simply meant to be selfish however she felt. There was no innuendo, no doublespeak or implication. She’d honestly just meant for her to be…selfish. Dammit, “I thought…that, it was-”

“You thought?”

“Nothing.”

“Mm, this nothing, what did it involve?”

“It- I… _oh god_. No, no, no.“

“You’re in such a state that I can only presume the best,” Evony hummed. “Shall we play a game?”

Lauren had dropped her head into her hand, phone still against her ear as she replied weakly, “What game?”

“Simple. I guess, and you inform me yes or no.”

“Okay,” Lauren replied, the sound constricted in her throat.

“Now, I do so hope it’s sexual.”

Lauren paused, holding her breath before, “Maybe.”

“Yes or no, remember.”

“…Yes.”

“Good.” Lauren groaned, hating the embarrassment she felt. “Nothing to be ashamed of, I mean I hoped but … Oh, Lauren, I had no idea.”

“I don’t like this.”

“We can stop,” Evony said. Lauren felt her teeth catch the tip of her tongue, her lungs holding back a breath. Evony meant the words, there was no playfulness to it, no joking around. “If you’re uncomfortable and you want this to stop, you are in complete control of doing so Lauren. I won’t push boundaries that you set.”

“Really?” Lauren asked. “Because I’ve seen how my kind is regarded.” She’d seen ‘claimed’ humans in her medical ward being treated. She’d seen them flinch, heard the fae speak when they thought she couldn’t hear, and it wasn’t always about the Dark, who infamously was known for loose morals. _“They should be pleased that he’d even want to keep her.”_

Doctor Everett didn’t stand for such talk, but she wasn’t always around in the medical sector either.

“Lauren, listen to me carefully. I won’t strip you of your autonomy. Not in sex, not between me, not ever, do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” The playfulness returned, “So, do tell me, where would you like this to go, so I’m aware of what I should or should not do.”

“I don’t know,” Lauren replied. “I…” I have a girlfriend, I’m Light Fae, I’m human. But I’m so lonely and you’re the first person who’s made me feel good since I’ve been here.

“Well you know how I feel.”

“Yes. But-“ She cut herself off, the words turning in her gut.

“But…?” Evony prompted.

“But I’m _Light_ ,” she said at last.

“Then don’t kiss and tell,” Evony said as if it was the obvious answer.

“That’s not what I mean.”

“Lauren, we’re not going to do anything illegal. I mean, not right now. I’m all the way over here, and you’re all the way over there. So…our options are, of course, limited.”

Lauren took a breath. “This is ridiculous.”

“How so?”

“I just- This is…” her cheeks _burnt_ , her words lost. God, she was waving her hand around, aware of what she wanted to say, but unable to articulate it. “You know why!”

“How about we simplify things. Tell me what you were going to do last night.”

“I thought you- I mean.” Lauren took a breath, shutting her eyes. “You mentioned masturbation and I assumed that…”

She could practically hear the grin spreading across Evony’s lips. “Go _on_ ,” she purred.

“I assumed that that was…what…you meant?”

“And _is_ that what you wanted?”

“I-I don’t kn-“

“Yes or no, darling.”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

Shutting her eyes, Lauren felt herself shiver. It was out in the open now, she couldn’t take back. She wasn’t sure she wanted to. Evony’s desire of her was obvious, admitting that it was mutual was necessary, if not nerve-wracking.

Lauren looked down, seeing her hand tugging at a loose string on her singlet. She was fidgety, as if this was the first sexual experience. God, she couldn’t believe herself in this state. Evony had to cut through her words, through the babble and deflections to get at the core and…and…

Lauren opened her eyes, realizing that she’d already taken off her shoes and socks, lain out on the couch, and was waiting to see what would happen next. _Hoping_.

“What do you think about?”

Lauren bit her lip.

“Speak up.”

“Things.”

“Mm. Fantasies I’m sure. Of whom?”

“You’re _mean_ ,” Lauren decided. She remembered Evony’s hand sliding over her collarbone, down her chest. She remembered how she tasted, her perfume, and that when Lauren kissed her, Evony had a made a small, approving sound, similar to laughter. Similar to the one she made now.

Evony was the personification of pure, carnal lust.

“I know,” Evony laughed. “But I must say, I do want to hear you say it.”

Lauren debated, the morals in herself telling her _no_. There was still a line, still a thin shroud she could hide behind. She could refuse, she could hang up, she could say no. “You,” she answered. “As if you didn’t know. You’ve already asked this question before.”

“Did I? Because I remember teasing about between your legs and this look of _horror_ on your face, wondering how on earth I knew that. But in truth, I could have been mistaken about your body language.”

“ _Bullshit_.”

“True. I knew. And I do believe I asked a second question.”

Lauren hissed in a breath, shaking her head. “No, I don’t think you did.”

“Look at you. Liar. Fine, I’ll repeat it again. _How_ do I sound, Doctor Lewis, in these fantasies of yours? What do I do?”

Lauren laughed, the effects of the conversation taking its toll. She could feel the question giving her the same effects as the last time it was asked. Only now, she could feel herself becoming bold. “You make it sound like I think about it often.”

“Do you?”

“No,” she replied. “No. Just…”

“Once? Twice?”

“No.”

“A few times then. Probably you’ve considered a favorite then, but let me assure you, the reality is far better.”

“Many women have told me that.”

“Many women are not two thousand years old.”

Lauren’s breath spilled from her. “Two thousand?” she said. Two thousand, she would have been born during the peak of the roman era, during the height of their domination. She would have seen Rome burn, and christianity rise, and civil wars, and history that was only scarcely documented. “That’s amazing. The history, the people you’ve met, I-“

“Yes. And perhaps once day I’ll share that information with you, but I’m about to ask you to start taking off your clothes, so I’d prefer the mood to remain…”

Breathlessly, an “Oh,” came from Lauren, her heart loud and clear in her chest. Or they could do that. Yes.

“So, what are you wearing, Lauren?”

“I…” She looked down, having forgotten entirely. She’d changed into jeans at the end of the day, her clothes having been covered in blood, leaving her in a cotton singlet after having thrown her shirt into laundry. Relaying the information, she heard Evony make a noise. Something Lauren knew well that could easily have been the Morrigan stretching.

“You live alone, don’t you?” Evony asked.

“Yes.”

“Good, now, where to begin…” she took a breath, humming through the phone line before exhaling. “Really, I would have preferred watching you first, learn what you like, what you don’t. But I suppose…”

She paused, contemplating what to do when Lauren asked. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“What are _you_ wearing?”

Evony chuckled. “This isn’t about me, Lauren.”

“Well, if it’s about me, I need to know what you’re wearing,” Lauren said. “And you swore an oath not to lie to me.”

“I supposed I did. Well, as luck would have it, doctor, when I rang you, I just came home from dinner with a client.” Lauren waited, Evony didn’t elaborate.

“And?”

“And what information are you looking for? How detailed?”

“Ah…” Lauren paused. “I just want to know?”

“Well, in its simplest terms, I’m in a lovely dress and heels.” A dark dress, Lauren suspected. Something similar to what she wore when Lauren first met her. Everything about her outfit then had been less about the dress and _all_ about the accessories.

Lauren wondered where she was now, if she sat in her bedroom, at the end of the bed, taking off her heels, or perhaps her lounge area, strewn over a couch as Lauren was now.

Wherever it was, it would be lavish.

“Where would your hands go first?” Evony spoke, snapping her from her thoughts once again.

Lauren felt her mouth go dry, then realized the question could apply to either of them. “On who?”

“Either myself or you.”

“Well, how I treat someone else is different to-“

“Selfless even in the bedroom,” Evony sighed. “This really must change.”

“No,” Lauren said firmly.

“No?”

“I won’t change.”

“Oh,” Evony laughed. “Have I hit a nerve?” There was a pause, as if she expected Lauren to say something, then, “I do so hope you’ll keep that fire, Lauren. It really is enjoyable.” Lauren didn’t reply, her back pressing against the cushion of the couch. She was out of line, the knowledge of that was… _good_. She was fighting, stubborn, determined. Shutting her eyes, she smiled. She could almost pretend she was herself again. “Alright _Doctor_ , undo your jeans.”

Lauren paused at the command. They were doing it, they weren’t playing around anymore. Slowly, she popped the button, sliding the fly down and took a slow breath. The phone pressed against her ear and Lauren was painfully aware of Evony on the other end.

And aware of the pressure the seam of her jeans had had on her, now pulling away.

“Push you jeans down.”

“Okay.”

Evony chuckled.

“What?” Lauren asked.

“Your voice. It is just… _divine_.”

“Flatter.”

“Only where its deserved. I’ll have you know that If I was there, I’d tug your pants down slowly, just far enough, before I’d stroke the outside of your- you know, I bet you wear cotton. Plain or patterned?”

“I fee like you’re trying to humiliate me.”

“Not a kink?”

“The opposite.”

“Ah, my mistake.”

“And the Morrigan makes mistakes?” Lauren teased.

“All the time, it keeps things interesting,” Evony said. “Now, do you like to be told what to do or-“

Lauren hissed, her fingers coming over her underwear. She was swollen, wanting desperately. Her thoughts had strayed, her mind thinking of Evony between her legs, of fingers stroking and warmth and…

“Tell me,” Evony said softly, almost as a request.

“What do you want to know?” Lauren asked. She tried to sound teasing, tried to turn Evony’s words back on her, but all that happened was that Lauren found her voice husked, the words only half articulated.

Evony didn’t reply, there was a whole pause as Lauren pressed oversell, feeling how wet the cotton was, how much she _ached_ for different fingers, when a soft whine sounded from her.

Evony spoke then. “I’m half tempted to come over there now.”

“I don’t think you’re allowed.”

“What are rules there for, if not to be broken.”

“As a _what not…to…_ ” Lauren shivered, gasping as she stroked over her clit, through cotton. Warmth and pressure seemed to grow beneath her touch. She felt her chest constrict, her heart pounding. She wasn’t close, nowhere near, but it’d been so long since she’d been in such a state.

She kicked her jeans off, pushing her underwear down as she listened to Evony speak. The women manipulated her body, her arousal, telling Lauren what she wanted to do. How long she’d tease, what reactions she’d make.

Lauren felt herself nod, humming short words, managing breathless, “Yes” and “please” as her thoughts became incoherent circles of _oh god, oh god, please, yes, god_. _Fuck._

She followed Evony’s words, imagined different hands ghosting over her breasts, pushing material over the skin, and touching shy of nipples, leaving her legs spread and exposed to the cool air.

And then, as Lauren became close, she heard the hitch in Evony’s voice. A sound catching, biting back a moan before she spoke.

“Evony,” Lauren asked. She was close, so close, she wanted to tell her. Close, close, closer, but she couldn’t do it. She was so wet, her fingers couldn’t get the friction.

_“Yes.”_

“Yes…” Lauren tried, focusing on the words and not the impending thought. Her body was tense, hips lifted from the couch to press against her fingers. Lauren could feel her mouth open and mind cloud; all she could think of was how much she wanted to be between Evony’s legs, how much she wanted to hear her come, and feel it against her tongue. “Are you..?”

“Yes.”

Biting her lip, Lauren arched, stifling the noise back in her throat as she almost stumbled over the edge. Not yet, not like that. The build, Lauren thought, was the best part. That hot, wet ache that was like a pressure rising up. But you had to fall at the right time, wait just for the right moment to let go for that _great_ climax equal to the build.

And Lauren wanted to come hard, mercilessly.

She took a breath, feeling it push against the hand at her breast, as her other worked between her legs, over her clit.

She wanted Evony inside her. She wanted _something_ inside of her.

Her fingers were wet, pinching at her nipple, having slipped inside before. She knew her body well. And a hand over her breast and clit worked better than just two between her legs. Ideally she would have a mouth there, a hand over her clit and both of her own hands against her breasts.

“Lauren,” Evony said, the word like an anchor. Lauren’s eyes opened, staring up at the ceiling. “Tell me what you want, right now.”

“ _You_ ,” she managed. “I…”

Lauren thought of what she wanted, thought of coming around her fingers, or over her mouth. She thought of making Evony come, of feeling the Morrigan rock over fingers, of her eyes squeezing shut, mouth parting, brow pinch as she came in her ear…

“Me, what, Lauren?”

“You. Here. I want…I want to…” Lauren took a breath, low and deep before shuddering out a small cry.

“Not yet. Tell me what you want.”

“I want to hear you…because of…what I do…what I _would_ …do… to you.” She took a breath between words, trying desperately to get them out, struggling to find the next in the sentence, her mind vividly aware of her hips lifting up and that tension coiling in her, making her thighs tremble, her back arch. She was so fucking close.

“Good girl. You can come now.”

It only took another minute. Her body tensed and clenched and rocked and she felt another breath, another and another, aware of the sound she made, of how her eyes squeezed shut before blinking open in surprise, as the release came and she felt like she was crashing back to reality, her legs shaking against her weight and tension.

Then she dropped. Feeling her sex swell and pound, as she breathed, eyes shutting tiredly. There was nothing, only a peace rolling over herself.

Before she became aware of what she did.


	4. the things you once told, the thoughts you gave me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, this chapter is SO long and did not go according to plan at all, but I got to what the chapter is ALL about, finally, and let me tell you, my response was to go HAH! and tell everyone I knew who knew about me struggling to get to that point. ‘I DID IT!!’
> 
> Of course, I had no internet at the time, so I just sat manically laughing to myself. And then of course I struggled to write another word after the scene JUST began. Dammit.
> 
> Let me just say that a) writing is hard b) characters never do what you want them to do c) Lauren especially in this fic. Last chapter was supposed to be 2-3k AT THE MOST, but nooooooo Lauren had OTHER ideas. *mutters* And this one was only supposed to be 6-7k. I have 16 more chapters to write… But they shouldn’t all be this long.
> 
> But, I do so hope you enjoy!

3\. First Time

Lauren deleted the number. Moving instead to focus on her work. She completed overtime through lengthy hours that had Everett eventually sending her home for bed and rest. She couldn’t go there, instead Lauren pushed herself into overdrive for Nadia, looking through books, old journals, and fairytales for anything that might be some _miracle_ cure. Something attainable rather than seeing over and over again, things like phoenix tears, fountain of youth, or golden apples.

But she’d take anything. Anything that might distract her.

She was afraid to sleep, her dreams filled only with horror or terror, there was no in-between. Either she dreamt of Evony, or she dreamt of execution.

Evony made not be horrific, or terrifying, but the reality of what she presented to Lauren was.

So she ignored her. Ignored the phone calls, and marched on. Evony was the one good thing Lauren had in the fae, without something to look forward to, Lauren felt it all become overwhelming once more.

The fae spoke in whispers around her, about her, and one ever daring to speak in clear earshot. Lauren snapped, the comment coming out of her quick and harsh, “perhaps if you spent half the energy working on patients as you did gossiping, you might at least manage to pass as competent.”

Doctor Everett grabbed her, throwing her outside. She was pushed through the doors and left to awkwardly stand, furious against a wall. On some level, Lauren knew she was out of line.

Still, she waited for Everett who paced up and down before finally spinning on her heel to face her. The woman’s green eyes were alight, casting her fury in Lauren’s direction, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“It’s true,” Lauren said. She folded her arms, holding a deep breath in her lungs.

“It may be, but you’ll keep your mouth shut.”

“So it’s fine for them to drag me down, but you expect me to take it? Just hold my tongue?”

“Yes!”

Lauren glowered. “That’s bullshit.”

“What do you expect Lauren? You’re human in our world, few will ever see you as anything more than that. If you want to survive-”

“I refuse,” she snarled. Everett turned, beyond furious at her, the lights seeming to dim around then. “What are you going to do? Threaten to execute me?” Lauren laughed, the sound hollow and barely masking her feat. Everett grabbed her again, pushing her against the wall.

“Listen to me, and listen to me carefully, I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but I suspect it has something to do with the social life that had you bouncing on you feet last month. You’re being ridiculous and-”

“Human,” Lauren returned.

“Emotional. Get a hold of yourself and grow up!”

“No,” Lauren snapped back. “I’m done. I’m done working with no thanks, I’m done listening to them tear me down. I’m not your pet, your child, your _slave_. I’m a _person_ , do you get that?” Everett blinked at her. “I can work at the pace you give me, I can do menial tasks over and over that you already _know_ I’m competent with, but I am _exhausted_ of receiving nothing back. I don’t even own the key to my apartment! I’m a pet, who’s fed and washed before made to do tricks and I’m done! I am _more_ than that.”

“And what about your girlfriend?”

Lauren glared, the threat making her fear burn into anger. “Before you get the chance, I’ll take Nadia to some hospital. Somewhere far-“

“Where you’ll die. You don’t get to leave, do you get that, Lauren?” Lauren’s mouth opened, ready to argue before it was cut off. “You swore an oath to the Ash to serve until Nadia returns to full health. If you don’t keep to that, you’ll be executed. For fuck’s sake, you don’t go back on an oath with the fae, Lauren. They’ll kill you, and the first thing they’re going to do is drain all your talents from you and give them to someone else. The fae don’t like to waste talent and you’re _brimming_ with it.”

“What?” Lauren felt her lungs tighten, her legs give way. Still, Everett held her to the wall, keeping her standing. “No,” Lauren whispered. “No, I-“

“Made a deal. Do you get that? You leave, you’ll be executed. You don’t live up to the Ash’s expectations, you be executed. You become more trouble than your worth-“

“I’ll be executed,” Lauren said.

Everett sighed, stepping back. Slowly, she let go, lifting one hand to cup Lauren’s cheek. “You have so much potential.”

“Don’t do that,” she said, tugging away. “Please. Not now. I…” Lauren blinked down, taking a deep breath as she felt panic rise inside of her. Slowly, she exhaled, looking up at Everett. “I can’t live like this,” she whispered. “I can’t…I can’t keep going. I’m tired, I’m so-”

“You will, because you have to. You’re strong Lauren, but sometimes you have to make yourself malleable to keep moving forward.”

Bowing her head, Lauren squeezed her eyes shut. When that didn’t work, she slowly tilted her head back to stare at the ceiling. Her cheeks were red and wet, her jaw trembling as she tried to hold it firmly in place. “This isn’t what I agreed to.”

“You made a deal with the fae. Every fairytale you know warns you about the consequences.”

“This isn’t-“

“Disney? No. There’s no fairy godmother for people like you.” Hot tears slipped down Lauren’s face. “So, as I see it, you have two options. You can throw in the towel and see how long you’ll make it on the run, I’ll give you a week, two at most depending on how busy the Ash is. Or you can take a breath, lift your chin up and _deal_ with this.”

Lauren shook her head, feeling her knees almost give out again before she started nodding. This wasn’t about her. This was about Nadia. If she found a cure, if she got her way, she could get out. She could take Nadia, hand over her claim and be off in the human world, going back on track with her life as if nothing happened.

“Okay,” she whispered, nodding still. “Okay, I can do it.”

“Yes. You can.” Doctor Everett stepped back, looking Lauren over. “Go home, _sleep_ , deal with what you’ve just been handed, because right now, I don’t think you’re safe to work on paperwork, let alone patients.”

Lauren swallowed, nodding.

“Good. Go and rest. I want you in the labs by seven, tomorrow.”

Lauren didn’t miss the carrot and stick being handed to her then, disgust rolled in her stomach. She could practically heard the words, _good girl_ being spoken to her.

She went home, walking rather than taking a taxi, since car use within the fae had to be logged in. God, looking at it now, Lauren could see how gilded her cage was, how obvious she was, trapped inside their world. She couldn’t drive without permission, her allowance only had enough for groceries and the occasional ‘extra’. The apartment she stayed at was not only owned by the Light, but more likely than not, monitored. She worked a sixty hour week on an _easy_ week.

She was a slave, a pet, anything and above, but she wasn’t a person. She’d never be a person to them.

So Lauren walked. She walked down the road, down the streets, crossing without looking, twice hearing a car slam on the breaks, as if hoping that maybe…

She’d never take her own life, not actively. But in her state of mind, she was loose with her life.

The stairs to her floor were long and arduous. She opted for the route rather than taking something mechanical, something easy. She wanted her legs to ache, to feel that pain in her chest from the exercise, she wanted to feel _something_.

Because right now, all she could feel was a low, steady rhythm of her feet hitting the floor, her mind going over and over was Everett said.

She’d made an oath. The only way out was to wake Nadia. She could do it, _would_ do it. But she needed time.

Turning the handle of a door she didn’t own the key to, she stepped inside, light already filtering through her windows, only to find Evony on her lounge, flicking through her journals.

“What are you doing here?” Lauren yelped, slamming the door shut as if someone might see. Evony snickered, continuing to turn pages.

“You weren’t answering my calls,” came the reply. Lauren blinked. She’d deleted the number, not that it helped. Every time Evony rang, the number appeared on the screen, staring at her, reminding her of what she did. And every time, she allowed it to ring out.

She didn’t even check the voicemail, deleting it before she could allow temptation to take over. Just seeing the number reminded her of how wet she’d been, of how hard she’d come for the first time in so long from her own hands. Actually hearing Evony’s voice, even now, was another thing entirely.

It shouldn’t have been like that. It shouldn’t have happened. God, it was a few weeks later and she could still remember her hips lifting of the lounge, her breath gasping on the phone line, and Evony’s pleased noise when it was over. _“See, wasn’t that fun?”_

Evony was looking up from the journal, staring at her expectantly. She wanted to know why she was being ignored. Lauren felt vague excuses rising to her tongue. She was busy, she was uninterested, she was a hundred and one other lies.

“I was…” she swallowed, adrenaline fading from her system. She moved, sitting down on the armchair perpendicular from her lounge. Her bag was dropped by the door, her body loose and tired. The games Evony would want to play were too much. “Why are you _here_?” Lauren asked, snapping her exhaustion into irritation.

Evony dropped the journal against her chest, frowning at her. “You look horrible.”

“I feel horrible.”

Evony perked up, snapping the book shut. “I could fix that.”

“You shouldn’t be here.”

“I’m the Morrigan, I can be where I want.” Lauren looked at her. Evony had her legs stretched over the lounge, her heels off, on the floor beside her. She was dressed in slacks, a red dress shirt with a neckline flirting dangerously with immodesty.

Lauren could see a jacket strewn over her kitchen chair. Evony had, quite comfortably, made herself at home.

“You’ll get _me_ in trouble the longer you stay, and I’ve had enough of being yelled at.”

“Oh _boo_ ,” Evony said. She stood up, moving to the kitchen where she pulled out two glasses and Lauren’s wine bottle from the fridge. “Danger makes life _thrilling_.” Lauren didn’t even comment, too tired. But when a glass pressed into her hand, she thankfully took it.

The glass of white was sharp on her tongue, cold, even in this weather, before warmth seemed to flood through her veins. Maybe she could finish the bottle to herself, crawl into bed, sulk for a few hours before she was forced back into the Light Fae compound.

“So,” Evony said. “What terrible secret did you find out to put you in such a bad mood?”

“The truth,” Lauren said. She opened her eyes, seeing Evony perched on the arm of the lounge. “Are you aware that if Nadia dies, I’m forever in debt to the Light. If Nadia doesn’t wake up, I’m forever in debt to the Light, if I decide that it’s too much and leave, I’m executed, if-“

“Oh honey,” Evony reached forward, swiping a tear from Lauren’s cheek. “You’re crying over spilt milk.”

“This isn’t spilt milk! This is my life, do you get that? I’m stuck here until I can find a cure. I’m a _pet_ , or _chattel_ as you prefer. I’m nothing. I’m not a person, my autonomy is stripped like I’m a slave. I feel like I’m cornered and every piece of control is being taken from me.”

“Most humans don’t even get the chance to opt out. You already knew all of this, ever since that little stint where you were almost executed. If that wasn’t a reality check, I don’t know what is.” Lauren huffed. She didn’t want her intelligence to be insulted. If she wanted that she would have stayed in the compound. “You’ve just been living in some ridiculous denial that that was a fluke and darling, you’re far too clever for that.”

“ _Why_ are you here?” Lauren glared. “I don’t want to play games. I don’t want this bullshit. Just… _leave_ me alone.”

“No, I suppose not.” Evony plucked the glass from Lauren’s grip, settling it on the table. A few hours earlier and Lauren’s heart may have raced when she felt Evony’s fingers tips brush her own. Now, she was just tired, not in the mood. And frustrated with the fae.

“Don’t,” Lauren said. “Not tonight.”

“You just worked out that your whole world is a lie. I think this calls for a different turn of conversation.”

“I don’t want ‘a different turn of conversation’,” Lauren snapped, baring her teeth at the woman. “I want Nadia, I want my _life_. I want to get married and have children and not be threatened with execution at every turn!”

Evony tugged her to her feet. Too tired to complain, Lauren allowed herself to stand.

“What now?” she asked, staring at her. “Why won’t you leave?”

“Because you don’t really want me to.” Evony stepped behind her and Lauren froze before suddenly melting at the hands on her shoulders, thumbs in her back. She wanted to drop, to allow herself to fall down and just have Evony massaging her shoulders until the world was over. But before she could even properly begin to enjoy it, it was over.

Then, Evony was in front of her again, her shirt being undone, tugged down her arms, before Lauren realized what was happening. “No,” she said weakly. “No, you can’t be here, you can’t-“

A mouth pressed to hers and Lauren exhaled, feeling it slip away. There was hands on her waist, holding her still as she stepped back, soft, confused from the kiss. “There,” Evony said. “Isn’t that nicer?”

“Why?” Lauren asked. Her bottom lip trembled, her eyes blinking and Evony was looking at her like she was crazy.

“Well, because kissing m-“

“No,” she shook her head. “Not that. I mean why are you being nice to me. Why are you chasing me. I’m more trouble than I’m worth. I’m with the Light, so even if I voluntarily come over, you’d have to expense care for me to stop any assassination attempts from having broken the oath. And as I’ve broken my oath, it’s possible I’d do it again and-”

Evony kissed her again, this time, her lips pressing over hers, kissing until Lauren responded. Slowly at first, then all at once.

A sigh pulled from Lauren’s lips, the words hushed in the kiss. She was kissed, and kissed, until there was no complaints, no anger or frustration and on any other day, Lauren may have fought against her because kissing words away wasn’t appropriate, it wasn’t right.

But she was tired, and Evony was so warm.

Kissing her slowly, feeling fingertips on her waist, her body tugged closer. Lauren felt her legs loosen, aware that she was hovering a few centimeters taller than Evony without the woman in heels. She ran her hand through dark hair, the kiss growing, until she could feel tongue, then teeth.

It was too much. She dropped her hands onto the Morrigan’s shoulders, tugging her mouth away. “Evony…”

“Do you want me to stop?”

Lauren could feel fingertips on her waist, drawing lazily. Her mouth parted, eyes feeling heavy. “What are you doing?” she asked, her words light and breathless. She didn’t feel like she was going to cry anymore, but it didn’t ease the edge of frustration underneath her skin.

“I’m seducing you,” Evony replied. “I thought that was obvious.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“That’s the point.”

“I’m not sleeping with you tonight,” she informed her. “I can’t.”

“Lauren. I wouldn’t sleep with you tonight if you begged me to slip inside of you, and fuck you until you couldn’t come anymore,” she stepped forward, holding Lauren in place. “But you look like you need to feel like someone wants you or you might go off and kill yourself. And that would be a tragedy.”

“You’re a bitch.”

Evony dipped her head forward, her breath sliding over Lauren’s neck. “I want you.”

Lauren shuddered out a breath, squeezing her eyes shut as Evony’s hand brushed over her cheek. “I don’t understand why. It’s not logical, it’s not reasonable.”

“I want you. Save your logic for the labs.”

“But-“

“I’ll kiss you again.”

“…Okay,” Lauren nodded. “Okay.” She nodded and felt Evony’s head lift, felt her brush over her neck, her jawline, until her lips were against hers again. Evony pulled away, tugging at her hand as she guided her to her bedroom.

There, Lauren laid on the bed, on her belly before her bra was removed and Evony straddled her back, her hands on Lauren’s skin again. Long, slow movements, running over her muscles, over her spine firmly, kneading the knots until they loosened. Deep, low moans pulled from Lauren, and on a few occasions, she could hear Evony laughing softly to herself.

She relaxed, giving in completely for the first time. And slowly, Lauren’s eyes shut as she felt the pressure shift and change, always firm, always knowing where she needed it most. Her muscles manipulated, her body eased into a lulled state until she could feel herself drifting asleep.

Somewhere, in the back of her mind as she heard her bedroom door shut and Evony climb down the stairs, Lauren was aware of the euphoria rushing over her as she fell into a deep asleep. She knew what she wanted to do, tomorrow. She knew how to survive.

* * *

 

She didn’t hear from Evony after the incident. A part of Lauren was disappointed over the next few weeks as winter came to an end, and spring begun. Evony didn’t appear in her home, lounging on her bed or chair as if she owned the place. But Lauren did notice, the day after when she went downstairs with her body feeling the best it had in years, that half her journals were missing.

Nothing but a sigh pulled from her, frustrated that Evony didn’t even think to ask. Of course she didn’t, why would Evony _ask_?

But Lauren focused on her work, focused on Nadia. This time she was careful to not overexert herself. She stopped listening to the fae, stopped trying to prove herself. Moving instead to focus only on herself; on giving the best care, on being the best in her field, on being _better_.

Everett beamed at her, offering only a small, “Well done.” But it felt _right_ , it felt _good_ , even with just that gentle praise.

Nadia, however, didn’t go anywhere. Any cure she found, any potential new information she discovered, was quickly always ruled out.

Only once, out of frustration, did Lauren throw her papers from her desk, glaring as she stood up and ran her fingers through her hair. She breathed, made something to eat, drank water, cleaned up the mess, and then set to work again.

In the second week of spring, when the winds were still cold and snow still fell on the odd days, there was a visitor to the labs. A man with dark skin and dark eyes. He was tall and muscular and had Lauren been so inclined, she may have felt her breath stop as Everett’s had.

What she did notice, however, was that he was extraordinarily symmetrical in his features, and smelt _good_. Like lime and mint and an overall scent of being _clean_.

“Elena,” he smiled to Everett, then to Lauren. “Excuse me, I don’t believe we’ve met.”

“Lauren Lewis,” she said, holding out her hand. Everett stopped her, quickly pulling her away behind her. Lauren looked to her curiously, a hundred and one toxic fae running through her head.

“Remmy.”

He looked hurt, brushing it off quickly with a small smile and a tight laugh. “Don’t be like that. How long have we known each other?”

“You say that like we’re old friends,” Everett returned, quirking a brow. “Lauren, this is Remmy, he’s _sixteen.”_

“Sixteen?” Lauren yelped, turning to look at him. “Sixteen?” Not sixteen hundred, or sixty misheard, but _sixteen_.

He laughed, a low, deep chuckle that Lauren was sure made many hearts thud in their chest. Good natured, as it was. Though Lauren watched his smile, saw it sag briefly, before it dropped all at once. “Did you hear what happened?” he asked. “Stupid question, of course you did, that’s why you dragged her away.”

“You’re new,” Everett said, “It’s to be expected. But I am sorry.”

“He was a good friend.”

“I know.”

Lauren blinked, confused as she looked between them.

“My mother had to tell my father. She’d hoped that I’d take after her, that she could keep him away. But…” He shrugged. “It is what it is. And I shall go on through my life impregnating women and haunting their dreams.”

“Incubus,” Lauren said out loud, then closed her mouth, looking to Everett. “I thought they fed from sex.”

“They do, they’re the brother-species to succubi. Different. Both species are singularly gendered. Incubi only birth incubi, and succubi only birth succubi, regardless of other genetics in play. It is what it is,” she said, quoting Remmy.

“So they’re not the same?” Lauren asked curiously. She’d looked into succubi briefly, when considering it a species for Evony, however information on them was limited.

“No,” Remmy said. “Unfortunately. I would have liked to have been a succubus, but they’re a rare breed. Incubi are more predatory, succubi just thrive in sex. Though my father speaks of Aife as-“

“He never knew her. He was born after the war.”

“Who’s Aife?” Lauren asked.

“An old legend from the war,” she said shortly, then, looking over to Remmy. “I’m sorry. I am, but there’s nothing I can do to change that.”

“I came here for a serum,” he said. “Or a cure, or whatever. I don’t want to hurt anyone else. My father won’t teach me control, not _real_ control anyway. He thinks that the essence of incubi is… _chaos_ ,” Remmy spat. “He’s wrong, and stuck in his ways like all the screwed up Elders are.”

“You shouldn’t speak of your father like that, he’s a respected man,” Everett clipped. “And I don’t know what you’re asking from me, but if it’s anything to disobey your father’s wish…” the tone was a warning. Lauren stared at her. She’d never known Everett to knock back someone asking for help.

“He won’t teach me control. He’ll teach me the way of the incubi, their traditions. Please, he’ll…he’ll make me choose Light.” Lauren shivered. The way he said the words were like he was afraid of becoming Light. The Light were _good_ , Lauren believed. They were order to the Dark’s chaos.

She blinked then, thinking of the Light, of what they’ve done to her. And what Evony had done for her.

She looked to him then, wondering if Evony was alike that to everyone.

No. She wasn’t. Lauren wasn’t deaf, she’d heard about her reputation, _knew_ that Evony would kill just as swiftly as the Ash, as any other fae. She was just as dangerous.

“The Light is-“

“They’re traditionalists. I won’t be able to visit my mother at her home. I’ll…” he swallowed, glaring bitterly “I need _something_.”

“I’m sorry Remmy,” Everett looked away. For the first time, Lauren witnessed her mentor ashamed of herself. “I don’t know how to help you.”

“You swore an oath,” he said.

“You’re not broken, you’re not damaged, or hurt. You’re scared, and the only thing I can do is-”

“I killed someone!” he snapped. “My best friend because I couldn’t stop feeding. How is that _not_ broken, or damaged or hurt? I’m killing people. And right now, I’m _starving_.” He stepped forward, threateningly and Everett’s eyes snapped to his. There was a moment, a bust of anger and he stumbled backwards by whatever Everett had done.

Lauren didn’t see the ability, but she could feel it, like a pressure that brushed over the room, making the lights dim. It was a threat, a strong warning.

“Your father will take you to his clan, it’s not my place interfere. I’m sorry, truly. But if you threaten myself or anyone working within the medical or science facility again, I will be forced to take action.”

Remmy glared, turning away before he stormed out through the doors. Confused, Lauren looked to Everett. Her heart slowing to its usual rate in her chest again. She wasn’t sure if the fear came from Everett or Remmy, or perhaps both, but it clung to her like a bad taste.

She took a breath, watching her mentor relax.

“Return to work, Lauren.” Everett said. “And forget that you ever saw him.”

“It’s not right,” Lauren told her. “If he’s hurting people, it’s our duty of care to-“

“It’s not our place, Lauren. We don’t interfere with the individual clans. They have their own way of teaching.”

Lauren stopped, glaring as she looked from her to where the door Remmy left was. He was sixteen, viewing himself a murderer and her own mentor refused to help because of an Elder. “Are all fae like this?”

“The Light are. The defining difference in Light and Dark is that the Light are traditionalists. We keep to our rules. The Dark don’t. Everything is subjective to them,” Everett rolled her eyes. “In the Old World, we were Seelie and Unseelie, separated by lands, though we could move between them as long as we agreed to their rules. It’s interesting to know that some rivalries will always exist in the fae.”

“I thought there was a war,” Lauren said. She’d heard whispers of the war, mentioned like an old legend. There was a great war and before that, there was no Dark or Light. Only the fae and their clans.

“There was, once. We were united, separated from the four courts of the Old World. There, humans were viewed similarly to how we once viewed slaves. We’d take them from their land, bring them to our own, and use them as we wish. Feeding off them was limited, in the Other World, the fae saw feeding off humans similarly to how humans view beastiality I suppose.”

“But some didn’t, some-“

“Some said it was ridiculous, they had other ideals. Feeding off humans was like how humans eat meat. It was good for us. They separated from the four courts, forming their own, and moved into the human world. Eventually we were disconnected from the Old World, most of the doorways shut. A great war followed soon after. Conflicting ideals. Those of the Seelie wanted tradition, convert the people to their ideals, those of the Unseelie wanted to move with the world.”

“When did the war happen?”

Everett hummed, looking to her confused.

“You mentioned the war was soon after. I wondered when the fae appeared.”

Everett smiled. “I suppose ‘soon’ is different between you and myself. I was born just before the war, in truth, most of what I know, I know from my mother and the fae that existed before. It was a couple of hundred years, I suppose. Six hundred, maybe? It matters not.” Everett turned, taking a breath and looking to Lauren carefully. “The fae are old.”

“I know.”

“Some are far older than they appear, and some are younger. The Ash, for example, is only a millennia.”

Lauren resisted the urge to snort at her superior. “ _Only_ ,” she quoted. That was over ten times the life expectancy of most humans.

“Evony is far older.”

Lauren paused, looking to her mentor. She wouldn’t have guess it. “How much so?”

“Who knows.” Everett shrugged. “Watch them carefully when they interact. Evony’s older, and smarter than she lets on. She likes to play games, run around being a petulant child who causes mischief, but she’s far more patient than she shows, and far more powerful. If you ask me, she has a greater plan in play that she’s not letting on.”

Lauren blinked, confused by what her mentor was saying. “I don’t understand,” she said.

“No, I don’t suppose you do.” Everett exhaled, looking almost disappointed with her. “Stay away from the Dark, Lauren. Especially Remmy.”

Lauren opened her mouth, prepared to argue.

“I know you want to help him, but interfering will cause trouble. The Light are rigid with their rules, it would be wise to stand with them.”

“But-“

“Focus on Nadia, on the direction I give you. Learn from me, and _trust_ me.” Lauren’s mouth shut tightly, the argument sharp on her tongue. She knew it was wrong. He was just a boy, he was sixteen and had killed someone because of his abilities. He needed help.

But she nodded instead, agreeing with Everett only because she knew it was necessary.

“I want to keep you safe, I want you to move on from here. Don’t get stuck, don’t die.” Everett turned to look at her. “You are too good to be wasting your talents here forever indentured to the Ash.”

Lauren’s mouth parted, surprised for the first time. “What…what do you think I should be doing instead?” she asked.

“Something fantastic,” Everett smiled. “There was once a human who separated from both the Light and Dark. They were clever, but lucky in truth. They started their own practice, helping both the Light and Dark. Maybe you could end up doing something like that.”

* * *

 

Lauren sat across from Everett in the restaurant, there was a storm pouring outside, lighting up the sky occasionally, as they read through a file between them. A week had passed since Remmy’s arrival, and Lauren hadn’t heard from him since. In a way, he settled in Lauren’s mind, worry fretting inside of her of a boy terrified of his own abilities.

For the first time, Lauren was aware that the fae were once scared children. She’d never had a child patient. Everett had delivered a few children in Lauren’s time with the fae, but Lauren had never been present.

Seeing Remmy, meeting him, she became aware that he was _sixteen_. A child. The fae were all, once, children.

“Here,” Everett said, shifting the file around to face Lauren. “This is a case I want to send you on.”

“Shifters?”

“Cats,” she paused. “Well, panthers. But they’re very docile. You don’t need to worry.” Lauren looked up at her, not convinced. The last time she said that, Lauren had needed six stitches. “It’ll be fine, you’ll need to go to their place. Just show the Ash’s mark and they won’t harm you. I promise, they’re very lovely.”

Lauren nodded, swallowing before she looked up. Everett had been attempting to slowly ease her into working by herself, diagnosing by herself. Here and there, Lauren made the mistake, or came to the conclusion slower than she’d like, but overall, she was rapidly progressing. “Thank you,” Lauren said.

“Well, I do so hope you’ll enjoy it,” Everett reached out, taking Lauren’s hand over the table. “Look, I haven’t had the chance to tell you this, but I wanted you to know that I’ll be leaving, soon.”

“You will?” Lauren felt her heart drop. A waiter appeared, placing wine on the table, before Everett waved them away with a pleased, ‘thank you, we’ll order in a few minutes’. “Where are you going?”

“It’s short term placement. I’ll be gone for a few months.” _Months,_ Lauren felt the word echo. Months of the fae, months of facing their anger, their spite. Handing cases by herself without a safety net. Lauren swallowed, trying to smile. Everett was telling her because she was excited. She should be happy for her.

“That sounds exciting,” she said. “Well, I hope you have fun,” she picked up her wine glass, tilting it in Everett’s direction. Everett returned the gesture, smiling fondly.

“It’s on placement. The Ash wants me to work in one of the rural areas for a time, they don’t have a doctor out there. Apparently he was attacked by a bear.” Everett pulled a face, making Lauren laugh softly. She had to agree, it was odd to imagine the fae being attacked by a bear. “But, no matter. It’s just until a replacement comes.”

“I’m really ha-“ Lauren was cut off by a phone ringing, blinking, she watched as Everett rummaged through her handbag, pulling out the phone. There was a quick conversation, before Everett stood up, picking up her handbag. Lauren stood up, only for Everett to wave her down.

“Stay. Eat. Have the evening off,” Everett said, walking around the table to kiss Lauren’s cheek. “You’re incredible Lauren, but you need to breathe sometimes. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” She left, a soft smile on her lips as she walked out the doors, taking her umbrella in grip, and leaving Lauren alone in a restaurant.

Lauren deflated, sitting in the chair with the feeling of strangeness in her gut. Everett was leaving, she’d have to face the fae alone, but…Everett had absolute faith in her too. She thought she was incredible. It was the first time anyone in the Light had said that to her. Smiling, she felt herself sit back in the chair, a warmth spread inside of her. She could handle the fae.

After all, she couldn’t rely on Elena forever.

The restaurant Everett had brought her too was an expensive, new restaurant in neutral territory. Mostly human occupants, but it was owned by a Light fae woman from Hong Kong, and her Dark fae son. The wine was rich, and the menu overpriced, though Lauren expected as much.

She settled for something moderately priced, and read through the file as she waited. However, not soon after she’d begun reading, the doors of the restaurant opened again, making the sound of rain apparent. Lauren took little notice, even as thunder cracked outside, before a sudden, familiar laughter came from the door. Then she froze, looking up from the file, over to where Evony stood in a burgundy dress and a dark jacket, laughing with a middle-aged appearing male accomplice who was dressed in an expensive suit.

He had an umbrella, placing it down before he turned to the hostess.

Lauren froze, staring at Evony, who tensed, then looked over to her as if sensing her gawking. Surprise slipped over her own features, before a smile pulled over them. Turning to the hostess, she pointed over to where Lauren was.

Lauren’s stomach dropped. Before she could say anything, two more places were set at the table, with wine being poured in either glass. Evony sat on her left, her jacket slung over the back of the chair, and the man sat on her right. Lauren quickly placed her file away into her handbag, dropping it under her chair as she schooled her features.

“Lauren, this is Anton, Anton, this is Doctor Lauren Lewis. She works for one of my rival companies.” Human, then, Lauren realized. She smiled, shaking his hand with a _how do you do_ , before a quiet settled over them.

“So…” Lauren began awkwardly. “How are you?”

“Bored, I spent the day doing paperwork in between meetings on some redevelopment I don’t care about,” she began, before continuing on about how terribly dull it all was. Especially the paperwork. Anton agreed, leaving Lauren to mutter that _she_ liked paperwork.

“Good, then you can do mine,” Evony said. “I’m sure I could find some way to pay you for all the handwork.”

Lauren felt herself blush in Evony’s presence, looking away nervously only to hear both Evony and Anton laugh at her embarrassment. “She’s teasing,” Anton said.

“Half teasing,” Evony replied. “Which she’s well aware of.”

Lauren went further pink, thinking of Evony straddling her back, hands running over her back, her sides. Though always sure to only skirt close to breasts and rear. She’d take that over any orgasm, nine times out of ten. Regardless, she didn’t like that the thoughts appeared in present company, especially with someone she only just met.

“Well now I don’t know what to think. And here I thought I was special,” he laughed. “Unless…”

Lauren’s embarrassment flushed away. “I don’t think so,” she said politely, taking a sip of water. She looked to Evony, who still appeared absolutely delighted by the turn of conversation.

“I see,” Anton said, deciding it best to move the conversation along. “So you mentioned you were a doctor?”

“Scientist,” she smiled.

“Where did you study?” Lauren felt her smile tighten, then relax as a hand placed down, onto her knee from Evony. For a moment, Lauren remember Nadia sitting next to her, squeezing her knee as they had dinner with the most irritating artist Lauren had met.

That woman had gone on and on about how the homeless were lazy, because she struggled too, sure she had food, housing, family and friends who’d take her in if the worst happened, but she _struggled_.

“Sorry?” Lauren asked, smiling blankly at him.

“I asked where you studied. I had a friend who was a scientist,” he said. “I know there are thousands living in Canada, but it’s a surprisingly small word at times.”

“Yale,” she replied, then glanced to Evony, the woman was sipping wine, looking relaxed. “I studied genetics, actually.”

“Ah, well he’s a microbiologist I think,” the man frowned. “Most of it goes over my head, but he’s happy enough. So what company did you say you were with?”

“Private,” Lauren said. “If you don’t mind, I shouldn’t actually talk about my work.”

The man laughed. “Classified?”

“Something like that. What about yourself?”

“Anton actually is also a rival company,” Evony said. “He owns another talent agency, I’ve been trying to get our companies to merge over the last few years. This evening is another attempt to no avail, I suspect.” She smirked, lifting the glass of wine to her lips. Besides Lauren, Anton laughed along.

“Perhaps your friend can convince me,” he said.

“She is surprisingly convincing,” Evony agreed, looking to Lauren. “Somehow, I suspect you could get whatever you want from me.”

Lauren smiled, feeling the low, warm tug in her belly from her comment. _That_ was a tease, she doubted strongly that Evony would ever do anything she didn’t want to.

Conversation moved about, from talent agencies, to shared clients, and somehow, the topic of war arose midway through their meal. “I’m just saying,” Anton said. “That there is a certain type of people that go to war.”

“What type?” Lauren asked.

“People who want to murder,” he replied. “Why else would you go to war?”

“To fight, to defend, to serve your country?” Lauren suggested. “The pay, to feel like you’re doing something good. People have different motives, and not all of them revolve around murder.”

“Have family in the war?” he asked, humored by her response. “I mean, you don’t really think that, do you? Look at all the horror the american army did in Afghanistan. All the problems that arose from corrupt people in the barracks.”

“I know. Better than you.”

“Oh?” He smiled, “Brother?” he asked.

“Myself,” Lauren returned. She took a sip of wine, looking to him. He’d paused, staring at her, his own glass frozen in grip. “I was a field doctor. There may be people who go to war to be murderers, but they won’t last long. Your team has to rely on you, to know you’ll have your back. If they can’t trust you, they’re not going to do whatever’s needed to get you back if something goes wrong. Soldiers are people,” Lauren shrugged. “Perhaps I was just lucky, and all the soldiers I knew had families. They’d count the days until leave, telling themselves that every day they were making the world a safer place for their siblings, parents, or partner, and children.”

Beside her, Evony was paying attention, listening attentively.

“I’m not saying,” Lauren said, “that there weren’t issues, strong, _bad_ issues that definitely need to be fixed. But it’s not the army that’s corrupt, it’s certain people who don’t take action and let others get away with horrendous acts. It’s a far more complicated issue that you seem to think it is.”

Anton paused for a moment, taking a breath. “I see.” He said. “But it is a brutal, crude job. The people that go in there, don’t do it because they dreamt about being a soldier when they were little.”

“Some do, some do it for the money, some do it for other reasons,” Lauren shrugged, thinking of her own, “But there’s no one motivation. You can’t say ‘all soldiers are x’. It doesn’t work like that. Some people go in there because they want to learn skills.”

“For a long time,” Evony spoke up, “war was an _honorable_ practice. It was about defending, battle, glory. You’d fight for your king or your gods and there was _talent_ involved. Now all the talent is in the command, making war tactics in their safe little houses, far away from any battle. It’s all dreadfully boring. I say we should forget guns and chemical warfare, and return to swords. Melee combat. _That_ was fun. There’s honor in that.”

Anton laughed. “I suppose you’re well equipped with swordplay.”

“Don’t let the dress and heels fool you, I have my talents,” she teased.

“Daggers, maybe. Something small and discreet, but I don’t see you with any large weapons.”

“Then you’re not using your imagination,” she smirked.

“You’d like that,” he teased back. Lauren felt herself suddenly become the third wheel, awkwardly cutting at her meal until the conversation moved back into warfare. They spoke of ethics, the cold war, Nazis. No topic was off limits, and the more they spoke, the more Lauren heard snippets from Evony.

Eventually the night finished, when Anton retired early, giving Lauren a handshake for the fascination conversation. “I’m not sure I quite agree with you about war, but it’s a different perspective,” he said, smiling. Then to Evony, he took her hand, kissing in gently, before winking and departing. “I admit, I half refuse this merge only because I doubt I’d have your company afterwards.”

“All you have to do is ask.”

“Doctor Lewis,” Anton said, turning to face her. “What do you think? You’re an intelligent woman.”

“I…I don’t have enough knowledge in business.”

“You know Evony, however. Do you think she’s trying to rip me off?”

Lauren felt her tongue, thick in her mouth. Looking from Evony to Anton, she smiled. They were teasing her, she realized. Regardless of what she said, both their opinions were grounded. “She’s yet to lie to me,” Lauren smiled.

Anton laughed, amused as he looked to Evony. “I’ll consider it, Ms Marquise. After tonight, I think I know more about you than all our other evenings combined.” He departed then, nodding politely before he left.

Evony hummed, sitting back in the chair as she looked to Lauren. “I’m glad we came here and not to that italian one across the street. I think you just did for me in a night, what I could do over the last four years.” Evony sat up, turning to look at her. “Are you sure I can’t keep you? Continue doing that for me, and I’ll let you have _whatever_ you want.”

“I’m sure.” Lauren felt her heart beat, a soft warmth in her chest from both the wine and the company. Looking to Evony, she smiled.

“What?” Evony asked.

“Nothing,” Lauren said. “I just…enjoyed myself,” she said.

“Ah,” Evony nodded. “Come to the Dark darling, I’ll take you to all the fabulous joints. You can even meet Vex!”

“Vex?” Lauren questioned.

“My right hand, so to speak. Fascinating company…in small doses.” She smiled, picking up the clutch from beside her chair. “Desert?”

“No, I should…also retire,” Lauren said, grabbing her own bag. She’d pay for her dinner with the petty cash Everett had given her. But as she pulled out her money, Evony’s hand pressed to her own, halting the exchange of money. “No, please-“

“Save it for something. Science equipment for your self.”

“It’ll get me half a stethoscope,” Lauren replied dryly.

Evony chuckled, handing her card to a waiter before Lauren could complain. “How about,” Evony said instead, “you buy something else. What do you do in your spare time?”

“Work,” Lauren said. “The fae, paperwork, medical journals to keep up to date with, science papers to keep up to date with, biology I’m behind in, anatomy, overall physiology on all the fae and their underfae contrasts. it doesn’t end,” Lauren said. “If I’m not aware that this fae can’t be around that because of these allergies, a huge screw up could happen. I can’t wear-“

“How about,” Evony broke in, looking rather confused and attacked from Lauren’s words. “You do whatever you want with the money?”

Lauren deflated, biting her cheek, “Sorry.”

Evony’s brow quirked.

“I didn’t mean to rant at you.”

“You have a lot of pent up frustration, it would do you well to _channel_ that into something else. Something useful.”

“Like work,” Lauren sighed. “I know.”

“…Or sex, as I was going to suggest, but sure, drive yourself further into work and grow more frustrated. I’m sure that’s healthy for a young, growing mind.”

Lauren sighed, looking up at her. Evony was smirking at her, looking absolutely gorgeous. Her hair fell in thick ringlet, over her face, most of which was tied back in a loose knot. Looking at her, Lauren was overcome with the sudden desire to watch Evony’s smile slip away until her lips fell into an O shape. “I should go home,” she said. “I just need to call a taxi.”

She reached for her handbag again, moving for her phone when Evony spoke, “Nonsense. I’ll drive you home.”

“A taxi-“

“Will be hard to get in this weather,” Evony said, rising from the table, her credit card returned to her as she looked to Lauren. “I promise I’ll only bite at request.”

“This feels like a bad idea,” Lauren admitted. The Morrigan laughed, placing her jacket on before walking to where her umbrella was kept by the door. “I’ll just call a- _ah!_ ” she yelped as Evony yanked her by her arm, bringing her close.

They were outside, the umbrella was up and she was standing very close to Evony, breathing in her perfume. She froze, feeling Evony’s arm wrap around her waist as they walked out into the rain. Slowly, Lauren felt her own arm place awkwardly around Evony’s back, aware of how much of herself was pressed against the woman.

Evony was standing only a few inches taller than herself again, the difference lessened by the boots Lauren wore, giving herself an extra two inches at most.

The difference was nice. Mostly because Lauren knew that out of the two of them, she was taller than the Morrigan.

“Pray, tell,” Evony said, turning to look at her. “What you plan to do with yourself this evening?”

“Read through a file, research everything about shifters-“

“I can give you more information than any book. Depending on what your after.”

Lauren chuckled, looking away, “Dos and don’ts?” she said. “What’s socially appropriate and what’s not, I suppose. The most important thing for me is to have a relationship. They need to trust me, and being human…”

“Shifters are more difficult for humans. They generally avoid them because of the history of man versus animal,” Evony paused, tilting her head.

“What?”

“Sorry, I was just considering a television idea.”

Lauren laughed, “Is that your job?”

“It was, once. I knew what ideas would take off, however, television and movies can be unpredictable, you can have a fantastic idea and an avid fan base, but sometimes it’s just not what the networks are after. These days, you can begin with webisodes and move from there. But it was all so terribly different once before.”

“Like Star Trek,” Lauren said.

“It had many hits following it, and there’s a new movie in the works so I don’t think that’s quite the point I was making.”

Lauren paused, stopping their steps in the rain. “Are you serious?” she said. “Which-?“

“Original. It’s a re-boot. However, I don’t know much,” Evony smiled, watching Lauren’s face grow hopefully. “You know, if you’re nice enough, I’ll take you on the set.”

“Don’t tempt me,” Lauren laughed. “But…” she took a breath, smiling. “A new movie? That would just be…” _amazing._ Lauren almost wanted to run to the nearest wifi connection, get on the old chat forums and see what everyone thought. She wanted Nadia. Nadia used to love Star Trek almost as much as she did.

“Come,” Evony tugged. “My heels are getting wet.”

“But…” Lauren said. “What’s your job then?”

“Talent agency, dear. Weren’t you listen to Anton and I?” She smirked, looking over Lauren as they walked over to the parking lot. “Or were you distracted, perhaps?”

“The Ash doesn’t work.”

“The Ash doesn’t need to. He feeds through other means.”

Oh, Lauren realized. The job was a means to an end. “And how do you feed?” Lauren asked. “I mean, if that’s…” she paused, glancing at her shyly. She wasn’t Evony’s doctor, wasn’t consulting on a case. She was just curious and that was a _very_ big question.

“You haven’t figured it out?” she asked.

“I thought you were a succubus,” she admitted.

Evony laughed, shaking her head. “No, no. I’m sorry. Darling, when you meet a succubus, you’ll know. They’re not much for foreplay,” she winked. “They like to get straight to the point.”

“Ah,” Lauren hummed, frowning. “Okay.”

The umbrella dropped, now undercover in the parking lot. With the storm overhead, the gold, fluorescent lights seem to shine even brighter than usual. Lauren looked around the lot, heading in the middle of the road, and immediately knew what car Evony’s was.

“Oh,” she said. “I…figured you meant…”

“Hmm?” Evony opened the door for Lauren, letting her slip in. It sat low and Lauren had to duck to climb in. It was spotless, it still _smelt_ new, with Evony’s perfume lightly following her. Her door shut, Evony climbing in the other side. Lauren watched her pulled her heels off, dropping them in the backseat, before she smirked. “So..?”

“I figured that you…had a driver, or something.”

“Sometimes,” Evony said, buckling her own seatbelt before starting the car and flicking the music off. “For functions I may play the damsel who doesn’t lift a finger, but I prefer being in control.”

“Of course.”

Evony smirked. The car reversing. “Except in sex,” she said casually. “But I’m sure you’ll figured that out soon.”

Lauren stared awkwardly forward, not sure in how to reply as they pulled out into traffic. The car was gear-shift, Evony’s hand flowing fluidly as she changed gears. The bracelet on her wrist would sound as she slowed from fourth down to first, the back up again as they went through lights, turning around corners.

“Don’t look so worried,” Evony said, humored as Lauren fidgeted in her lap.

“You’re very different from the Ash.”

“Not as much as you think,” Evony replied. “Elijah and I have a shared history. Just moments here and there. Unfortunately he has little interest in sex,” she frowned to herself, than shrugged. “Though I suppose that works in your benefit.”

“Why do you say that?”

“What do you humans call it? They don’t necessarily get aroused? Anyway,” she continued, “fae don’t usually claim humans for a singular cause. They generally use their services however they see fit. There are many like Elijah who have no interest in sex, however that doesn’t mean they’re all _good_ , but in fairness, I would say you hit the jackpot.”

“What about you,” Lauren asked.

“Hmm?”

“Your claimed humans? How do you use them?”

“I don’t claim humans. Not anymore.” Evony turned away, she was quiet for a moment, before a stiff smile spilled over her features. “I could make an exception if you’re offering.”

Lauren laughed. “I don’t think I can just unclaim myself, then claim to you.”

“No, I suppose not. If he were to die, however, you would not immediately be in service to a new Ash. You _are_ chattel and would eventually move from one Ash to the next if he wanted you in his service. But more often than not, humans are discarded. I’d suggest, if the situation were to rise, however unlikely it may be, you very quickly make a decision.”

Lauren swallowed, wondering quietly if Evony planned to assassinate the Ash for whatever reason.

“However, I wouldn’t worry. I’m quite certain that your brilliant mind will find whatever ails your dear girlfriend in time. Then I suppose you’ll be off in some sunset, hmm?”

Lauren laughed bitterly, “Well I’m glad you have faith in me.”

“I read your file, Doctor Lewis.” Evony pulled up into her apartments parking lot, her car standing out against the other occupants. Shifting the car into park, Evony looked to her. “You found the cure to that little situation in the Congo. I think you deserve some faith, don’t you?”

Lauren looked at Evony, her heart racing as she unclipped the seatbelt and pushed forward, crushing her lips to Evony’s. The woman gasped, before relaxing, returning the kiss. She didn’t know what came over her. If it was the wine in her belly, or Evony’s perfume, or just that for the first evening that Lauren could remember, she honestly felt _good._

Not just nice, not just better, but good. Normal, excited, _happy_. She was happy in a way that her guard crashed down and all she wanted was to keep it, because she knew that the moment she stepped out of the car, reality would come back.

Pulling back, Lauren fell back into her seat. Evony looked just as surprised that it ended, as it had begun.

“I’m sorry,” Lauren said, running her hand through the blonde hanging over her face. “I’m sorry, I just-“

“Stop apologizing.” Evony dropped a hand over Lauren’s knee, smiling at her. “Was I complaining?”

Looking away, Lauren bit her lip. She could taste lipstick, bitter against the wine. She could taste something sweet, underneath it all. Taking a breath, she looked back over to Evony. “I’m giving you mixed messages. That isn’t fair,” she said.

“No, but I think you’re aware of what you want, Lauren.” Evony unclipped her seatbelt, pushing the door of her car open before she stepped out. Lauren followed, closing it behind her. She didn’t know what she wanted, and she didn’t know what Evony was after, either.

“What do I want?” she asked.

“You want me to convince you, but I won’t. The decision is entirely yours.”

They walked into the elevator, Lauren stepping inside, clicking her floor. She half expected Evony to kiss her there and then, until she couldn’t breathe and was dizzy with the taste of wine just to contradict what she said. But she didn’t. The elevator went up, a silence obvious between them, before the doors opened again. There, Lauren lead Evony to her door, mulling over the question.

She didn’t know what was going to happen, but when she turned to look at her, grabbing at her door handle, Lauren knew that she had two choices.

Turning the handle, she found the apartment unlocked as always. The door opened and she stepped inside, before turning to face Evony and blocking her entrance.

Evony waited, smirking at her. She was similar to a cat, Lauren realized. Slow, steady movements before she’d suddenly pounce. Lauren opened her mouth, trying to find the decision she wanted. “Goodnight,” she tried to stay, wanting to thank her, but also to make it clear about their boundaries. Instead, she said, “Would you like a coffee?”

Evony stepped forward, her jacket slung over the back of the armchair as Lauren shut the apartment door. She turned around, and before she could do anything else, Evony grabbed her, fingers curling through her hair as she kissed her until Lauren fell back against the door, arching.

It wasn’t the right decision. It wasn’t a decision, Lauren decided, feeling hands undo her buttoned shirt, squeezing over a bra cup.

It wasn’t a decision. She tugged at Evony’s lip, her mouth pulling away to stare at Evony briefly. She wanted her, wanted her more than she could understand with physiology. Evony was quite symmetrical, she was aesthetically pleasing, she emotionally appealed to her, Lauren understood all of this and more, but… there was a mouth on her throat, hands trailing down her sides and tugging the shirt off her shoulders and Lauren blinked up at her ceiling, not sure.

“Wait,” she said, her voice breathless. Evony pulled away, stepping back far enough that Lauren could still feel her body heat, but didn’t feel her hands on her skin.

“I can’t,” Lauren whispered. “I can’t do this.”

“Why?”

“It’s _treason_.”

“It is,” Evony agreed. “But you’ve been committing treason for the last few weeks, so I don’t think it’s _that_. Unless you suddenly had an overwhelming sense of morality.”

“I have a girlfriend.”

“You had a girlfriend when you made that delicious noise on your phone for me.”

“Exactly!” Lauren said. “I did that and it was wrong, and-“

“Lauren,” Evony said, moving her hands to touch her shoulders gently. “I’m not going to stop you. This is your decision. But before you make a decision, _you_ need to know why you’re doing it.”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do. Otherwise you wouldn’t be making these bullshit excuses. Focus, it’s not that difficult.”

“You could try being _nice_.”

“I am nice,” Evony said, fully believing the words in that moment. “But I don’t sugarcoat.” Lauren stared at her quietly, her head falling back to thud against the door. She didn’t know what Evony wanted from her, didn’t know how to find the answer. She was awkward and confused and…

Lauren took a breath, shuddering as she stared at her. “I’m scared,” she admitted.

“Of me?”

“Of your intentions. Of why you want me. I mean, I’m the Ash’s. This isn’t about just seducing me, to screw with him. You’re…you’re making me happy, there’s no reason to do that to seduce me, I don’t get it! What point would you have? I can’t unclaim from the Light to join the Dark, it’s physically impossible!” Lauren stared at her, feeling her chest rise and fall. “I don’t understand what you want and I keep thinking of the worst case and-”

“You,” Evony replied, smiling at her. Lauren glared back, unamused. “It _is_ true.”

“You could have anyone, so don’t give me that bullshit of you wanting me. There are many others who play hard to get better than me. There are many people more attractive, intelligent, interesting who _aren’t_ having moral dilemmas over working for the fae and cheating on their girlfriend!”

“True,” Evony nodded. Lauren huffed, both appreciated and hating the brutal honestly Evony brought. “Lauren, you’re looking for a rational reason, when there isn’t one. I mean, sure I want to feed from you but if all I wanted was that, then, well. I wouldn’t have gone to such lengths, now would I?”

“Feed from me?” Lauren blinked, focusing on the particular point. “Why?”

“Because you are…” she trailed off, running a finger through her hair, “So bright, Lauren. I don’t think Elijah quite knows what he found when he met you. However, I wouldn’t feed without your consent.”

“And I assume you ask all of your humans, beforehand?” Lauren asked dryly. The fae didn’t ask, they took. Everett taught her that the first day. That the fae would take and take and sometimes, she wouldn’t even know it was happening.

But Evony just smiled at her. “Oh course. That’s why there are contracts.”

Lauren felt her stomach drop, the pieces clicking into place. “You’re a muse.”

“Close, darling. So very close.”

“That’s why I always feel inspired after…you…” she pulled away from Evony’s hands, stepping beside her. Lauren felt violated, Everett’s words coming back to. “Have you fed from me?“

“I’ve given you something in the past, but I’ve never taken from you. Not yet at least.” This was still a game, Lauren realized. Evony was hunting her.

“Why?” Lauren asked.

“Why do I give or why haven’t I taken?”

“You can’t feed without consent, you told me that. Which means you feed from your hosts slowly.”

“Only the ones I like to keep around longer than a few minutes,” Evony said. “And to answer your question, because I wanted to. There isn’t always some super secret ulterior motive behind my actions. Sometimes I just do things because I want to. And I think it’s worked in your favor twice before, hasn’t it?”

“But…” Lauren exhaled. “There’s a reason, there’s always a reason. Even if you don’t understand, there’s-“ Evony tugged her hand, dragging it close to her. Lauren felt it land over Evony’s breast, where the heart should be. She couldn’t feel anything, and then, she could. It was slow. A slow, long heartbeat.

“Now,” Evony said, “I could show you why, because I don’t think the fact that _I want you_ is getting through your pretty head.”

“Don’t,” she said, snapping her hand away. “I’m more than just-“

“I’m aware, as are you,” Evony said.

“I don’t want you to feed off me.”

“Liar.”

Lauren glared.

“But if that’s your desire in this moment, than I shall submit to your will,” Evony smirked, stepping back to lean against the door where Lauren had stood previously. Only then did Lauren realize how their positions had altered.

“I want you,” Lauren admitted, frustrated as she stared at Evony. “I want you and I don’t even know if it’s because you’re fae and using your powers and I’m-“

“I’m not,” Evony said. “There are _aspects_ of my biology that are intended to sway your opinion in my favor, but nothing purposeful.” She tilted her head, looking to Lauren. “You want me, Lauren, because I make you feel closer to humanity than any other fae.”

“You’re mean,” Lauren sad.

“And so very nice. It’s such a perplexing contrast isn’t it?” Evony stepped forward, only for Lauren to make a further step away. Pausing, Evony looked at her. “Are you afraid of me?” she asked.

“I don’t know. You’re a two-thousand year old woman, who feeds off… _talent_ ,” Lauren deduced. “I don’t think I can trust you at this point.”

Evony nodded, considering Lauren’s point slowly. “Okay,” she said. Walking forward, she grabbed her jacket and slipped it on. “I can’t say I’m not…wishing things had ended differently, but I understand. I don’t think it’s wise for my company to remain any further.”

Lauren’s jaw clicked, conflicted as she stared at Evony. She was quiet, watching Evony leave. The door opened and before Evony stepped through, she tossed a half smile at Lauren before shutting the door with a quiet _click._

* * *

 

The first day Everett left, it was noticeable. The fae who worked with Lauren may have had _grudging_ respect growing for her, but it didn’t stop some of them saying slighted comments.

But they weren’t the problem. There were many patients who had no regard for Lauren, even as her patient. She could save their first born’s life, and all it would receive was a ‘Everett would have done it faster’. It was insulting, disrespectful and had Lauren not being a bigger person, she may have done more than side-eye them over her clipboard.

The truth was, she had no one to protect her. Losing control could result in a patient lashing out, taking it personally in a way that meant some death in the coming future. No one cared enough to stop a situation like that from arising.

So she learnt how to mask her features, bottle up the frustration and let go of it in the privacy of her apartment. Importantly, she learnt how to take every remark without it hitting _her_.

However, in middle of spring, there was an important case that caused her to do one thing she really didn’t want to do. She was asked, by Everett’s request, to take on one of their patients from the past. The patient was just feeling off color, and it was _probably_ to do with her third pregnancy, but she just wanted to be assured that that was the case.

They would be arriving the coming weekend for a check-up.

Lauren remembered them, and also remembered that their physiology was complex, especially in pregnancy when half their system was completely shifted. However, when she went to look for her notes, Lauren became aware that the necessary journals were missing. She panicked, going over half her apartment before remembering _how_ they went missing.

It’d been a month since she’d last heard from Evony in person. There were comments, remarks about her merging with a human company and possibly taking on more than she could chew with running both the Dark and a large company, but Lauren disagreed. Evony was leanan sidhe. She knew talent, could see everyone’s best assets and place them according.

She was the perfect candidate for the Dark. It was the politics that maybe didn’t come as naturally to her.

Still, the Dark thrived. Rich in wealth where the Light was in allies. If war ever broke out between the two, it’d be difficult to know who would win.

“Yes, darling?” Evony answered when Lauren rang.

“You have my journals.”

“Do I?”

“Yes.”

“Let me see…” she paused, there was a quiet sound of shuffling, then nothing. “No, I don’t think I do.”

Lauren closed her eyes, frustrated. “You took them from my apartment…after the first night you were here.”

“Hmm.” Evony was toying with her. Again. Lauren felt herself grip the phone tightly, “I don’t know. I’ve been quite busy these last few weeks.”

“Please,” Lauren snapped. “I have a case, I need my notes. There’s important-“

“When?” Evony asked. “And for whom?”

“Basajaun. And this weekend. If you want the rest longer, that’s fine, but it should be in the books dating from late August to early September. I think there’s only two…or three. I’m not sure.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” The phone clicked off, leaving Lauren stunned and pissed off. She couldn’t rely on Evony returning. Rather than calling her again, or going over there and _demanding_ her journals – as both options were ridiculously stupid and dangerous – Lauren began researching again, from scratch. Going through Doctor Everett’s old journals for anything, along with the Light Fae’s resources.

Late into the night, there was a knock on her door before it opened. Looking over from the couch, she watched, dumbstruck, as Evony stood in her doorway. Lauren went from the white shirt, with an extra button undone, to the black high-wasted skirt, stocking and heels.

She looked like she’d just come from a meeting, and like nothing Lauren had seen her wear before.

Evony walked over, dropping six large books onto her coffee table, her eyebrow arched expectantly as she looked down to her.

“What are those?”

“Take a look.”

Lauren reached forward hesitantly. They weren’t _her_ journals. Taking the closest one, she picked it up, off the table and began flicking through it. On some of the pages, there were neatly drawn sketches, labelled accordingly.

“On _loan_ , of course, as you’re not with the Dark, but I’m sure they will have all the information you need.” Evony smirked, looking down at her. “In fact, there’s probably more there than you needed in the first place.”

Lauren was stunned, glancing through the first book. Anatomy, biology, chemistry, all on basajaun. No doubt, the following books containing similar information. She blinked, looking up at Evony. “I don’t know what to say.” She stood up, awkwardly looking to the Morrigan. “This is…more than…” Lauren gestured, gaping in marvel. It was more than she could have received through scribbled notes and uploaded resources into the Ash’s online library.

“A thanks wouldn’t hurt,” Evony smirked.

“Thank you,” Lauren replied. She felt the familiar sense of adrenaline rushing through her. She wanted to bounce on her feet, to jump forward and do something. Instead, she remained still, staring at Evony. “Really, thank you. I don’t know how to…”

Evony took initiative instead, stepping forward to tilt a teasing smile at Lauren. “I have some ideas,” she said coyly.

She was flirting again, Lauren realized. Blinking, still stunned from the books, she mentally searched for an excuse that wasn’t a lie as Evony stepped closer. She smelt different, a familiar smell that Lauren couldn’t quite place. There was no perfume, nothing synthetic at least.

It was like…

Lauren swallowed, realizing the scent. “Tell me you don’t want me, and I’ll go away,” Evony promised. Lauren felt the arm of the couch hit her legs. Felt her hand reached for the spine of lounge and hold herself steady against it as Evony stepped closer. “Because I want you, Lauren. It’s not reasonable, it’s not logical, and there’s no answer in that great big brain of yours to answer why. But I want you. More than I should.” She took Lauren’s hand.

The finger weren’t damp, they wouldn’t be, Lauren realized. They’d have absorbed any moisture from the car park to her door.

But Lauren knew.

She _knew_.

Evony’s other hand came up, brushing hair over Lauren’s shoulder before she leant in, pressing red lips to her ear. “I’ve been thinking about you these past few weeks,” she told her. As if it was some secret someone might overhear. The words slipped down Lauren’s spine, the effect near instantaneous as it pooled in her belly.

Then she heard herself quietly ask Evony, her voice thick with arousal, “show me?”

She’d meant to say “ _tell me”_ , but her mind had other ideas, and the hand holding hers, took her fingers down slowly.

Evony made it obvious what her intentions were as she guided Lauren’s hand against expensive material, against skin, giving every opportunity for Lauren to refuse.

She’d didn’t, instead, Lauren pushed the skirt up, knowing it’d bunch around Evony’s hips and thighs as she slipped over skin, to where Evony guided her. She could feel Evony’s breath brushing over the shell of her ear, slower than a human’s. Fascinating and strange to hear, until it gasped as finger grew closer.

There, Lauren smirked, a shiver running down her spine. Her mouth parted and slowly she brushed over the sheer lace, hearing Evony attempt to conceal a vocal breath.

The sound was so quiet, that had Lauren not being paying attention, she may have missed it.

Daring further, Lauren traced the damp material, slipping beneath it because she had to _know_. Evony gasped in her ear, as middle and index finger curled, stroking against her sex. It was wet, so wondrously wet that Lauren’s eyes fell shut, focusing on just the sensation of wet heat.

“Oh my god,” she whispered.

Evony chuckled, the hand on Lauren’s wrist dropping away, coming to land on her shoulder as the Morrigan rolled forward against her fingertips. Abruptly, the laughter stopped as Lauren’s fingers curled, pressing firmly.

“Tell me you want me,” Lauren said. Evony got a laugh, then a barely contained moan as fingers carefully brushed further up her sex.

“I want you.”

“Good.” She pulled her hand away, smiling at Evony. The woman looked almost cross with her. Eyes wide and scandalized by the audacity Lauren had.

Taking her hand, Lauren pulled her upstairs. She could feel Evony’s fingers relax, understanding what was happening. “You don’t have to,” Evony told her. “I don’t care _where_ we have sex. So as long as I’m not left completely aroused and unsatisfied like last time.” Lauren laughed. She suspected as much.

“I do,” she said, looking over her shoulder. “I suspect I may suddenly remember my morals and refuse you the next time, so I better make the most of it now.”

“Next time,” Evony said, quirking her brow.

Lauren stopped, turning around before she tugged Evony close enough that Lauren could wrap an arm around her waist. “Regardless of what you want, if you’re just interested in a single night to shake off whatever _desire_ you have for me. I know that after tonight, I’m going to…” she trailed off, her fingers finding the zipper of Evony’s skirt. Slowly, she tugged it down. The material spilled over waist and down her legs, falling around her heels.

It left Evony in a shirt bearing enough cleavage to show off the edges of bra cups, and falling far enough to only hide half of the damp lace.

The stockings she wore were stay-ups, and Lauren had half a mind to keep her in them, ruin them.

“You have half a mind to…what, doctor?” Evony asked, eyes flashing curiously.

Lauren blinked, whatever thought had been in her mind was long gone. “Sorry, what?” she asked.

Evony’s smile peeled wider into a grin. Stepping out of her heels, she kicked them away before stalking past Lauren. “If memory serves correct, I believe the bedroom is this way?” she said, leading the way. Lauren, having fallen in a daze, followed happily behind her.

Whatever ground she’d held before, she’d lost.

There was still time.

Lauren stepped forward into the bedroom, feeling underdressed in her cotton pants and singlet, as well as overdressed when she saw Evony on the end of her bed, leaning back on her hands. She had one leg crossed over the other, bouncing lazily as she watched Lauren enter.

Knowing what she wanted, Lauren stepped forward, close enough that Evony’s thumbs looped around the pink cotton singlet, edging it up. “Now,” she said, lifting it up slowly. “I don’t know what you _like_.”

“I thought you knew everything,” Lauren teased.

Evony smirked up at her, leaning forward to press a kiss between Lauren’s ribs. There, Lauren hummed, feeling the singlet push higher, over her breasts where Evony held the cotton, kissing a trail up between both breasts.

Her body felt like it might give in and melt, arousal slipping her further into a clouded mind. It wasn’t the books that seduced her, it wasn’t how Evony dressed, or even that she came this evening. Lauren suspected that Evony knew how to play for the long haul, and over the last few months, she had so quickly made it so all Lauren wanted was her. Just once.

And god, Lauren didn’t care what happened after tonight. She could never see her again and maybe, maybe it would be okay.

“I know what you _want_ ,” Evony told her, “but I don’t know how you’d like that achieved.”

“What?”

Evony’s hands slipped down, her mouth taking a taut nipple gently between her teeth. Lauren felt her breath shake, looking down to see Evony’s eyes on hers as she let go. Her fingers curled around the cotton pants waistband, twisting around underwear too as she began tugging it down, skimming the material slowly over Lauren. Inch by inch, skin was exposed to the cool air.

Lauren’s chest rose and fell with deep breaths, her hands on Evony’s shoulders. “Tell me,” she said. “Tell me what I…” her words cut off, feeling Evony’s nails run bluntly over the pubic mound. She hadn’t prepared, she’d showered not long after coming home, her hair was still cool, not wet enough to be classified as damp.

But whether Evony minded or noticed particularly, Lauren didn’t know.

She was nervous. It’d been a while, she wasn’t prepared and she didn’t know particularly what Evony liked. But so far, Evony seemed less concerned about herself and more focused on Lauren.

The cotton fell around her ankles suddenly and Evony’s nails were bluntly running along the back of Lauren’s thighs. Lauren trembled, a whine in her throat holding back the sensation that shook at her knees, tensing the muscles in her legs.

Unable to stand it further, she grabbed the hands, moving one thigh, than the other, to kneel over Evony before sitting down on bare legs.

She held Evony’s wrists, holding them to the bedspread as she rocked forward, moving to kiss her. Evony shifted her legs purposely, one leg suddenly pressing between damp thighs. Wetly, Lauren slid, feeling herself against Evony.

Lauren’s head paused, a gasp in her throat as blinked and let go of Evony’s wrists. “That wasn’t fair,” she said. The Morrigan was smiling at her.

“I never said I was going to play fair,” she said, settling hands onto Lauren’s hips. Carefully, she trailed a light pattern over the bare skin before reaching up and tugging the cotton singlet from Lauren’s body. “There,” she said, “much better.”

Lauren didn’t completely agree with that. Evony was still half dressed.

Leaning forward she kissed the woman’s lips, tracing her hands over the buttons. One by one, they popped underneath her touch. Lauren’s mouth kissed over Evony’s, the movement slow and sure as she pulled open the shirt, slipping it down the woman’s arms.

It caught around a gold bracelet. Tugging the jewelry off, Lauren pulled the shirt from Evony and discarding it over her shoulder, she pressed her down onto the bed.

Sex was similar to a dance for her, and one Lauren knew better than any waltz.

She slid her hands over Evony’s skin, coming to the lace band of the bra. Too lazy, she pushed it above the breasts, one hand coming over to grab and squeeze over Evony’s heart. She couldn’t feel it beat beneath her touch, but she knew it was there, knew that there was a slow, steady beat, similar to a crocodile resting beneath a ribcage.

“I wonder,” Evony whispered, pressing a finger to Lauren’s lips to stop Lauren darting forward again. Slowly the finger dropped down to her chin, her thumb coming up to drag over Lauren’s bottom lip. “Would you be selfish for me tonight?”

“No,” Lauren laughed. The hand dropped away, Evony looking up at her disappointedly. “But I promise to hold back on logic. I’ll ‘save it for the labs’.” Evony laughed, dropping her head back on the bedspread to smile lazily at the ceiling. Lauren sat up, still on Evony’s thighs as she looked down at her.

She didn’t expect it to be like this. To be lazy and _fun_. She expected unbridled passion, maybe. Something edging on rough. This, however, was exactly what Lauren needed.

Evony smiled at her. “You’re going to be bad for business. I can just tell.”

“You begun this,” Lauren whispered. “And you’re just in control of this ending as I am.”

Evony sat up, a curious look slipping over her features, “that’s just it, Doctor Lewis. I’m not so sure I am.” She reached up, flicking blonde hair over Lauren’s shoulder. “I have no self control when it comes to desirable things.”

“And I’m desirable?” Lauren laughed. “You are _such_ the flatterer.”

“Look at you,” Evony whispered. She sat up properly. shifting them so Lauren’s was almost pressed against her. “ _Really_ think about your position. You are a talented woman whose bed I’m about to get in, whom I have no plan of feeding from this evening. Few could admit such feat.”

“Flatterer,” Lauren said again. “You’re in this for the long game,” she whispered. Everett said as much, didn’t she? Looking at her now, Lauren knew she was right. There was something about Evony. Something convoluted.

“And what’s ‘the long game’, Lauren?”

“You tell me.” Lauren didn’t wait for the answer, didn’t care for it tonight. Her mouth came to Evony’s, her fingertip slipping over skin. She didn’t seek orgasms for Evony. They may only have tonight, and that was fine, more than fine, but just incase, Lauren decided she wanted to know Evony’s body.

She wanted those noises again.

They moved further up the bed, Lauren spreading Evony’s legs to hook over her hips as she kissed between breasts.

Evony, Lauren quickly realized, was a performer. She relished in loud noises as much as Lauren enjoyed causing them. Slipping a hand down and over Evony’s leg to catch under the knee, she used her other hand to hold at the curve of Evony’s back, dropping her mouth further down the Morrigan’s body as she crawled back on the bed.

Evony’s eyes were on hers as she used both hands to grab either side of the lace lingerie and tug it down. Her hips lifted, allowing the material to slip, before they were dragged over her knees. Shifting further back, Lauren allowed Evony’s legs to be in front of her body, so both calves came together, slipping the last material from Evony’s skin.

She tossed the lace away, leaving nothing but a held pause between them as stared at each other. Lauren calculating the odds of whether she should just dive in and spread the woman’s legs apart again, or whether she should take it slow. She wanted to make Evony have a _good_ orgasm, but good enough that she knew Lauren could do better.

“What are you going to do now?” Evony asked, tilting her head on a pillow.

“Depends on how long you want,” Lauren replied. She moved, lying down on her belly beside her to trace over a thigh, lazily drawing patterns near the pubic mound. Evony didn’t break out in goosebumps like a human, but her muscle tensed, her leg sliding up as her hip lifted just-so. “I could go slow, learn your anatomy in detail,” her fingers traced over the lower belly, featherlight touches that had Evony tense then relax.

“Or?” Evony asked, her lips tugging into a smile.

“Or I could…” with one finger, she traced down, over dark curls to where the clitoral hood was. The touch was light, slipping between wet folds to trace over labia. Evony’s thighs parted. “I need direction,” Lauren said.

“That doesn’t sound fun.”

Turning her wrist, outward, Lauren slipped two fingers inside Evony. She watched eyes snap open, feeling thighs clamp around her hand. Lauren smiled, pleased. Evony’s reaction was far quicker than a human’s. “It’s very difficult to know what you like. I’ve had sex with a fair few women over the years, and no two liked it exactly the same.”

“You’re a fast learner,” Evony said, gasping over the words. “So _learn_. Quickly.”

“How quickly?” Lauren asked, trying to pull her fingers away. Thighs held her firmly. Chuckling, Lauren slid back inside. Sooner or later, Evony would spread her thighs apart again, if only to allow for more sensation over her sex.

And Lauren knew, watching her amused as Evony glared playfully at her. “I despise you right now, I hope you’re happy.”

“You told me you like it when someone else takes control in sex,” Lauren grinned, even more amused as Evony began to look conflicted.

“How am I going to deal with you?” Evony asked.

Moving forward, her fingers still inside, curling as she leant forward to kiss Evony’s lips, Lauren whispered, “I’m sure you’ll think of something.” There, she felt Evony’s thighs relax, her breath against her mouth. Lauren felt the Morrigan’s hand slide over her neck, easing deeper into the kiss before pulling away. Nudging her, Lauren licked Evony’s bottom lip, asking her “How much do you want me?”

“Lauren,” Evony growled, nails digging into the back of her neck.

It was playful, and not in the least bit painful, but it put her point across. Laughing, Lauren kissed her again, sliding her fingers out, over the clit, then back inside. Instantaneously, Evony melted against the bed, head tilting back to expose her throat.

Lauren thought about dropping down, about her mouth going over the clit, her tongue sliding along the sex and feeling Evony climax around her fingers and tongue. But, she wanted something else, something more. She wanted to _see_ Evony’s reaction. Know what makes her breath rise and fall, then shudder. She wanted to see the mouth fall open when she couldn’t make a sound, watch her eyes flutter, her brow pinch.

She wanted to map every reaction in her mind and catalogue it for later.

If she ever came into her bed again, and it was a big if, Lauren wanted to know what worked, what didn’t, and what finally tipped her over the edge.

Lauren stroked, slowly at first, going firmer every odd stroke. So far, it was a tease, a game perhaps between them. Lauren wasn’t sure what she wanted from Evony, not really. This was just learning her before they got into something better.

Maybe.

Hopefully.

When she was close enough, Lauren slipped one thigh between Evony’s legs, curling inside of her against so the heel of her hand would rub at Evony’s clit.

“Here,” Lauren whispered, using her other hand to take one of Evony’s and slip it over her own sex. She was knelt over Evony, her eyes falling shut as Evony felt how wet she was.

“I could make you come before me,” Evony said, turning to look at her. The Morrigan’s fingers slipped delicately over Lauren’s clit, stroking, then circling. Learning what Lauren liked.

“I know,” Lauren said. “Don’t. I just…”

She felt Evony arch beneath her, one of her thighs pressing against her in the movement as a moan slipped from the Morrigan’s mouth.

Lauren needed to feel her. She didn’t care about an orgasm. She just needed _something_.

But Evony didn’t play fair and more than once, Lauren found herself rocking on fingertips, her own hand falling in pace with Evony’s before she remembered what she was trying to do. Between sounds, Evony’s eyes would flutter open, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth knowingly, as she looked at Lauren.

Feeling her own orgasm edge on the horizon, Lauren quickening her pace as she pressed firmly against Evony. Her hand was wet, her fingers soaked with lubricant as she watched Evony’s head tilt back, her mouth parting as a loud, high sound catch over the word “ _Yes_!”

Sex with Evony, Lauren decided, listening to her name being called over and over again, until the words disappeared and all Evony could do was _sound_ , was like sex with a porn star.

She felt Evony clench and unclench around her fingers, her hips rocking against her, before the last, loud sound finally poured from her mouth.

Evony’s hand dropped away from Lauren, though the thigh pressing against Lauren’s sex, pressed harder until Lauren finally pulled her fingers away, dropping her hand wetly on Evony’s hip before she rolled off her, beside her on the bed.

Or so she thought.

Lauren fell off the bed with a yelp, staring up in surprise as Evony head peered over the edge, lazily staring over the covers. Her head was resting up on an arm to look down at her amused.

“Very graceful,” Evony said, smiling at her.

“I could have sworn we were in the middle of the bed,” Lauren said, blinking up at her as her cheeks blushed furiously. Evony laughed, watching at Lauren stood up and carefully sat on the end of the bed, looking up at her.

“Do you need a doctor, doctor?”

“I would prefer that we forget that happened,” Lauren said.

Evony shrugged. “Suit yourself, but it’s funny.”

Huffing, Lauren glared at her.

“Oh please, as if sex isn’t hilarious. There are more times than I could count that I’ve had similar situations happen. I once had a lover knee me in the face,” she said. “And I’ve more than once fallen off the bed.”

Lauren laughed lightly. “Well, on embarrassing situations, I once handcuffed myself to the bed to surprise my girlfriend once, and she came home with her parents.”

Evony smiled. “See,” she said, her foot nudging Lauren. “Sex is hilarious, it’s good. God, if it was just perfectly rehearsed then _I_ would be bored.” She sat up, smiling at Lauren. “Now, what do _you_ want?”

“Well…” Lauren said, looking at her. “You recovered quickly.”

“Perks of biology, now get your bruised ass over here so I can make sure there’s no serious damage done.”

Lauren smiled, obeying the commands.


	5. and we're moving slow, our hearts beat so fast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say thank you so much to all the comments and the kudos. Seeing them makes me beyond happy. I hope you continue to enjoy!

12\. Fingering

Having re-hydrated, Lauren placed the glass down on her bedside table, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. The master bathroom was open, a bright light spilling from the room against the carpeted floor of the bedroom.

She could see Evony going through her medicine cabinet, her hair damp as she made herself presentable for leaving Lauren’s apartment. Still, Lauren watched her, wondering why the Morrigan had stayed so long. It wasn’t sunrise, not yet. But she was sure someone had to keep tabs on Evony in a similar function the way the fae kept tabs on her.

Unless the fae loved self-governing as much as the first world country. It was conceivable, she came to the realization, that the fae world mimicked the human, or perhaps their own social structures bled into human society. Still, one question held on her tongue, the answer of which would either be able to make the guilt forefront or stilled in Lauren’s gut.

She waited. Weighing the odds, before finally asking. “Is it treason for you?”

“Is what treason?” the hairdryer turned on, drowning out half of Evony’s voice. The woman was used to doing her own hair, probably her own make-up too, Lauren realized. Somehow, she expected Evony to have a team of people to appear and do it for her.

But she suspected that like the car, it was all an image made to have people think she was used to people doing whatever she said.

“Sex. With, err, me?” Lauren asked.

Evony turned, looking over as she continued drying her hair. With one of Lauren’s brushes, she easily began straightening it to a sleek, casual style. “Treason?” she hummed, thinking about it. “No, it’s just bad taste to play with the Ash’s things.” She smiled, looking back to Lauren’s vanity. “Why do you ask?”

“It’s just that…you don’t actually get angry at the dog for following a new owner home, I mean, you’re frustrated, but you get angry for someone stealing it.”

“You’re not a dog, dear.”

“What am I?”

“Chattel.” The hairdryer switched off, placed down before Evony turned to face her. She was dressed again, her face, however, clean from any make-up. “What brought this up? Are you wondering if you can weasel your way out of punishment,” Evony’s eyes flashed. Lauren suspected that the punishment Evony thought of was drastically different.

Or perhaps she was that much of a sociopathic sadist.

“I was curious,” she shrugged. She felt nervous under Evony’s eyes. “The Light will punish me if they find out.”

“You are a consenting adult, are you not?” Evony asked, placing her earrings back in. “I didn’t make you hop into bed with me.”

Lauren sighed. “That’s not what I meant. I just feel like I’m being used as a whipping girl.”

“You are,” Evony said. “Anything I do to you, they’ll think you initiated it. Much like what women face in the human world actually.” Evony turned, looking back in the mirror to play with her hair. “However, I don’t believe it’s just curiosity ticking in that head of yours. The answer’s far simpler than you think, Lauren.”

“What is?”

“Don’t get caught. Everyone breaks the rules, even the Ash.” Evony smirks to herself, looking quite pleased as she looked to Lauren. “Think of it like Schrödinger's cat, if you don’t get caught, you’ve both committed and not committed the crime until witnessed by someone who will prosecute you.”

Lauren blinked, disagreeing with the statement. Still, the wording of Evony’s reply was odd. Lauren mulled it over, watching Evony turn to the vanity mirror again, brushing fingers through her hair. “Is this…” Lauren asked unsurely, “Is this going to be a repeated event?”

Evony looked at her, her eyes narrowing suspiciously. Lauren didn’t know what the expression was, but she felt pinned beneath it, scrutinized. She’d made a mistake. Walking over, Evony’s heels clicked from the bathroom tiles to carpet. She reached out, touching her fingers to Lauren’s chin. There, her expression hardened. “Don’t think that this is a relationship. What I want, I’ll have, but not at the expense of dealing with _feelings_.”

Lauren tugged away from the touch, rolling her eyes. Already, she was used to the woman’s barriers coming up out of nowhere. “Don’t play power games. I was asking a question.”

“I was answering it.”

“You stayed,” Lauren said. “Longer than was necessary. You still want _something_ , so don’t brush it off as if you’re about to discard me.”

“Who said anything about discarding. I just don’t like the messiness of romantic attachments. You’re fun, Lauren, and I enjoy your company, but the moment you start getting lovesick, this will end.”

“What do you want, Evony?” Lauren asked, tilting her head up to look at her. It was almost sunrise. When the sun rose, Lauren knew she’d become aware of the reality of what she did. But psychologically, it was still night, it was late, still dream-like. “If it was sex, you wouldn’t have stayed for half the night.”

“Perhaps one night isn’t enough,” Evony said. “I don’t think I quite got you out of my system.”

“Is that it?” Lauren laughed. She knew what Evony wanted. Evony wanted to feed from her once, and Lauren wasn’t going to give in. If she needed consent, then Lauren was going to make her beg for it. “What do you want, Evony?”

“I still want you,” Evony said, tugging at the dressing gown Lauren wore. Lauren snatched away, playful as she grabbed Evony’s wrist.

“I have work.”

Evony smiled, her other hand between Lauren’s legs before Lauren even saw her move. Two fingers slid inside, slowly. Lauren rocked onto her toes, eyes fluttering as she felt them curl over a familiar place Evony had taken great lengths to exploit over their time in bed.

Lauren hummed, shutting her eyes as Evony’s other hand slipped over her cheek. “You have no idea how beautiful you are like this, Lauren.”

“Have you see-?“ she cut off in a gasp, fingers sliding deeper inside of her purposely. “You…”

“Yes. I have mirrors.”

“Of course.” Lauren smiled. “It’s not the same. You know your face only from mirrors. I’ve seen it from…” she trailed off, caught between remembering Evony’s face when she came, and feeling the Morrigan inside of her, purposely teasing her slowly. “I have _work_ ,” she said again. She could feel her brow pinch, conflicted. She knew if she allowed Evony to do whatever she wanted to her, she’d end up being late.

“And _how_ important is that?”

“Work,” Lauren repeated, a sigh slipping from her mouth. Evony chuckled, sliding out before she popped one finger, than the other in her mouth. Cleaning them individually before returning to the bathroom. Lauren pressed her back against the wall, finding her breath as she heard the sink’s tap turn on, then off.

Fixing her gown, she tucked hair behind her ear nervously, looking to Evony.

“Don’t look so ashamed, dear. You enjoyed yourself. I’m sure your girlfriend will understand.” There, the word struck her. Lauren feel her good mood leave in an exhale.

Nadia.

“Cheated,” she said for the first time. Evony looked unamused at the word.

“Please. The whole coma thing is like them leaving you. There’s an acceptable time within social circles where you go around being celibate before you’re allowed to move on. Usually nine months, I suspect. However, it’s not unnatural in grief to seek sex. It’s a very human response,” Evony teased.

Lauren looked up, glaring at her. “I didn’t ask for your opinion.”

“No, you just fucked me, but you _are_ looking for someone to acknowledge that it wasn’t the wrong thing.”

“It was.”

Evony waved her hand, disregarding Lauren’s comment. “You’ll excuse me if I find monogamy terribly limiting. I mean, as a scientist yourself, don’t you find it a bit ridiculous to expect a single person to meet all your needs, especially when they’re comatose?”

“It’s not about meeting needs!” Lauren snapped. “It’s about…” she paused, struggling to find the words. “You don’t get into a relationship because you expect them to meet your needs. You do it because you want them, because you can make it work. It’s about love, and…companionship, to come home to someone and share yourself. It’s not about fulfilling all of your _needs_!”

“Honestly, I just don’t understand it,” Evony shrugged. “And I don’t think you do either. But, as you say, there is work to be done.” Evony leaned forward, kissing Lauren’s cheek, “Ta, darling. Try not to angst too hard over your girlfriend.”

Lauren gaped, watching Evony leave. She seethed for the rest of the morning, muttering through her notes as she thought over what to say in the near future. Underneath it all, however, she knew that Evony honestly just did not care about her opinion. She didn’t get it, simple as that. Most of which, Lauren assumed, was partially due to the society she’d been born in.

The fae and monogamy did _not_ go hand in hand.

* * *

 

She went to work, finding herself on top of both practical and paperwork as Everett’s right hand, Cole Briar, took careful measures to run both the medical ward and the science facility. He was quick, intelligent, and though he held humans in the same degree Lauren might hold livestock, he was still moderately respectful to her.

“Here,” he said, pointing her over to a curtained patient upon her arrival. “He asked especially for you.”

Lauren took the clipboard, reading the name and doing a double take as she opened the curtains. Remington, or Remmy as he’d been introduced, grinned at her. His expression fluttered briefly, eyes shifting blue as she stepped into his space.

“Doctor Lauren Lewis,” he said airily. “Good to see you.”

Lauren blinked. “No,” she shook her head immediately. “I can’t.”

“I looked you up,” he said. “You’re a scientist.”

“No, Doctor Everett told me-“ she gasped, feeling him grab her wrist. It melted through her, a warmth as she felt herself smile at him. He let go and Lauren gasped, dizzy as she nearly fell onto the hospital bed. Her clipboard clattered to the floor, pen rolling away as she looked up, feeling the shame hit her at the residue from his attack. “What…” No she knew what that was. She’d read up enough on incubi and succubi to know. “ _Why_?”

“Sorry,” he said. “That was wrong.”

Lauren pulled away, glaring at him. “Sit,” she said when he went to rise. Another doctor looked over at her, and Lauren felt her cheeks flush, staring at him.

“I’m sorry.” he said, “It was an accident, you smell…”

“I smell like what?” she demanded. Like flowers, like a shower, like-

“Sex,” he shrugged softly. Lauren shut her eyes, tilting her chin up as she let a sigh hiss through her lips. Of course she did. “It was a…a, what do you call it? Reaction?”

“Reflex.”

“Yeah! It’s why I came to you. I’m hungry and if I get to that state again, I might hurt someone.” He looked at his, his eyes big as he flicked between Lauren’s. “Look, this reflex is difficult, I mean, most fae have reflexes too, but…I don’t want to be an incubus.”

“Everett said-“

“Everett is a traditionalist,” he said. “It’s how she was raised in the Light.”

“Remmy, look, I would love to help you,” his face looked up at her hopefully and Lauren sighed, crouching down both to look away as well as to pick up her clipboard and pen, “the truth is if I act outside of…” she paused, feeling the warmth slip over her again. There was a hand on her shoulder, and it was warm and steady.

“It’s different with people who have no interest in my gender,” he said, his voice like honey. “Or it could physically be due to my age, but in this state your more susceptible to my touch, rather than sexually interested. Now, I want you to stand up.” She stood up. “Cluck like a chicken.”

She made the noise once, before his touch slipped away from her. Lauren felt herself get lightheaded, blinking confused as she reached for the wall. Fear slipped over her, aware of how she would have jumped off a bridge, had he asked.

A doctor, who must have been watching, snickered in her general Direction. Lauren flushed, humiliated before then feeling herself grow angry. “What was that?”

“I wanted to make a point.”

“Forcing me to do things against my will _is not_ making a point. It’s violating my trust.” She stepped back, away from his touch.

“You’re a human,” he said, “Like billions of others. And I can easily hurt you as I hurt them.”

“You seem to have some control,” Lauren said, pulling away from him. She didn’t want to let the fear obviously in her face, but flinching away from him, she felt it coil inside of her. She felt violated, from him, from the fae allowing it to happen. “I don’t understand what you need.”

“That’s nothing. Easy. But it makes me hungry and I don’t…I can’t…I don’t know how to stop when I feed. I need something to make me not hungry.”

Lauren shrugged. “I can’t help.”

“Please. I just…I just don’t want to hurt any more people. Just something to make it go away.”

Lauren pulled in a breath, looking down at her. “I can’t help you,” she said. “I’d be violating Everett’s wishes, and by proxy, the Ash. What you’re asking me to do will get me killed.”

“Please,” he said a last time. “I killed my best friend. Do you know what that’s like?” Lauren shivered, looking down at the clipboard in her hands. Slowly, she nodded. “Then, please-“

“I can’t. Look, I’m sorry, I am, I want to help but… I just can’t, Remmy.” She took a breath, squaring her shoulders as she looked at him. “I have other patients to take care of.” Remmy stood up, looking at Lauren carefully, before he left. Slowly, Lauren exhaled, feeling the anger wash away from her. Then, just as quickly as she let it go, she masked her features, moving on to her next patient, the next problem. She had other things to deal with.

But Remmy stayed in her mind. His eyes hopefully staring up at her.

* * *

 

It was the next week when Evony turned up at her door at one in the morning. Lauren stared, hand on her hip and beyond exhausted from her latest spout of work and research. Blinking at her, Lauren knew that there were two reasons Evony might be here, and it did _not_ seem to be an emergency. “If this is about sex, the answer’s no.”

“Not everything I do is about sex,” Evony scoffed. She brushed past, dropping pizza onto Lauren’s coffee table. “Your light was on, I thought you’d want food.”

“Are you stalking me?” Lauren asked. “Because it’s not something I appreciate while I’m working for the Ash, whatever your motives may be.”

“You on the same main road that the Ash’s apartment is on, whom I had a meeting with,” Evony said, arching an eyebrow at her. “Or were you not aware of that?”

“I…wasn’t,” Lauren said. In truth, she never thought of the Ash sleeping. She always assumed he just sat in his throne or worked in his garden when he wasn’t doing his duties. If she had to think about it, he seemed more like the person to meditate rather than lie down and sleep.

“Well this apartment wasn’t chosen randomly.”

“I thought that it was just filled with Light fae tenants,” she admitted.

“It is, but not to spy on you, otherwise he would have known of our late night rendezvous and made such a public spectacle of it,” she laughed, teasing Lauren as she moved to lounge. Her heels slipped off, legs curling up underneath her on the couch as if she was at home. She reached over, grabbing one of Lauren’s books before taking a slice of pizza.

Lauren was left to stare, too tired to even comment. Somehow, she found herself pouring coffee for herself and the Morrigan, setting out plates and serviettes, before taking her own seat beside Evony. The woman wiped her fingers on the napkin, before turning the page curiously.

“I wasn’t aware you spoke french,” Evony said. “Do tell me it isn’t _Canadian_ french?”

Lauren pulled a strange face, biting into a slice of pizza.

“Good.”

“What’s it with you and Canadian french?”

“The same the British have against the Americans,” Evony shrugged. “Or the Australians, I suppose.”

Lauren looked at her curiously, trying to figure out why Evony had turned up at her house at one in the morning with pizza. She didn’t question it further. Evony had ignored her subtly once, and Lauren suspected that she might continue to so less subtly, if Lauren started asking directly.

She wiped her hands instead, grabbing another slice of pizza as she snuck looks over at Evony. The woman looked so invested in the book she was reading, as if she was honestly interested in the pages’ contents.

“Is this about Remington?” Evony asked, turning another page.

Lauren froze, having just sunk her teeth into the slice of pizza. She hadn’t eaten anything more sustaining than an apple since breakfast. Swallowing the bite, she wiped the grease from her mouth. “Ah…”

“He came to me,” she said, looking to Lauren. “Bold boy.”

“He is,” Lauren nodded.

“Comes from his father, I suspect. His mother just likes to feel ‘the earth between her toes’,” Evony quoted, rolling her eyes.

“Do you know everyone you rule over?”

Looking up from the book, Evony blinked at her bemused. “No,” she said.

“Oh. You just…talk like you do.”

“I should hope so, if the Dark think I don’t pay attention, there’d be a rebellion on my hands,” she looked back to the book, glancing through the notes. “I directed Remington to you, but I was under the impression that you knocked him back.”

“You _directed_ him to me?” Lauren asked.

“When he came to me last week, he was desperate. He wanted to join the Dark to keep out from his father’s control. However, we don’t allow that to happen unless someone signs for him as a witness and _unfortunately_ I can’t do that. He needs someone else and for some reason I can’t fathom, people are avoiding him.”

Lauren sighed, staring at Evony.

“No honestly,” she said, looking up to Lauren. “The death of his friend was tragic, but not unusual in incubi circles when they first come of age. If I didn’t know better, I would suspect that someone had made it so he was absolutely isolated from all of his peers.”

“Is that possible?” Lauren said. “Of course it is, stupid question.” She reclined back, staring up at the ceiling tiredly. “He wants a way to curb his hunger.”

“It’s in his rights.”

“You’re not…against that?” Lauren asked. “Interfering with the clans?”

Evony smiled, rolling her eyes playfully. “That is _so_ Light Fae. In all honesty, I don’t give a fuck what the clans want. If Remington wants to curb his hunger so he can learn how to feed by himself, then so be it. The Dark don’t care about tradition. We’re all modern, darling. Rolling with the times. You’d know that if you joined.”

“Right,” Lauren nodded. She should have known that. Still, she looked at Evony curiously. “Why did you direct him to me?”

“Because he’s neither Light or Dark, and you’re a genius scientist whose heart gets all fluttery about those menial things,” she said, gesturing loosely. When Lauren didn’t say anything straight away, Evony looked up. “He asked for help and I gave it. The more that join the Dark, the greater foothold I have, and an incubus on my side is _no_ small thing.”

Lauren took a breath, holding it in her lungs. She counted to five, then decided that she couldn’t let the comment go. “He’s not just as asset. He’s a person.”

“Lauren, sweetheart, if he wasn’t an asset I wouldn’t have directed him to you. I would have made him work it out on his own.” She shut the book, turning to look at her. “Remember what I said in the alps?”

Lauren paused, then glared, realizing why Evony was getting at. “You see everyone as chattel.”

“Good girl.”

“That’s not a way to live.”

“Well it’s worked for me just fine.”

“But friends, family, relationships?”

“I have people I sleep with and people who don’t try to kill me. Isn’t that enough?” Evony asked, blinked at Lauren. “What? Do you want me to console you, give you hope that maybe you make my black, empty heart grow three sized big?”

“You know this isn’t about me.”

“No I don’t,” she said, frowning suddenly. “But I am surprised. Usually that’s what people want.”

“I have a girlfriend, I don’t need you to fill her space while she’s in a coma.”

Evony’s expression went from curious to playful, and before Lauren could stop it, the woman had removed all obstacles in her way and placed herself onto Lauren’s lap, straddling the woman’s thighs.

Lauren blinked, surprised before resting her hands on her hips out of laziness. “Why are you sitting here?”

“If I’m not replacing her, why did you let me come in?” Evony asked. Lauren glared, pushing Evony off her. The woman pouted, moving on the lounge beside her.

“I’m not in the mood, Evony. I’m trying to save a boy’s life. A boy that, I’ll point out, you only seem to see as-“ Lauren cut off, feeling Evony’s mouth on her throat. “That’s…” she sighed, shutting her eyes. “Not playing fair.”

Evony’s mouth didn’t pull away. It slid further down, teeth sliding like an empty threat against Lauren’s pulse, before she kissed against it.

“No, I can’t. I won’t enable you. This _isn’t_ okay. You can’t just…” she sighed, feeling Evony’s hand sliding under shirt. “This is not an appropriate way to distract from the fact that I don’t like how you view the boy.”

‘You can’t change my mind, Lauren. So what’s the point in all that childishness?” Evony said. “But, if you don’t want to take part in this, I guess I’ll just have to deal with the situation myself.”

Lauren blinked, confused as Evony stood up. “What?”

“Care to watch?”

“Not after you called me childish!” Lauren snapped. The anger was dulled as she watched Evony smile, moving to sit in the armchair. “Evony,” Lauren said. “You can’t use sex to manipulate my emotions.”

“Have you ever wondered why sex is viewed as such a dirty way to get what you want? I mean, lying, manipulation, bribery and threats? They’re all valued as _better_ techniques than sex.” Evony’s legs were together, but Lauren watched the dress rise an inch. “ _Heaven forbid_ someone use sex to get their way. I mean, really, why such the kerfuffle over such a useful method?”

Lauren blinked, watching Evony’s hands. Looking up, she found her cheeks stained red underneath Evony’s stare. “This isn’t appropriate.”

“The men view it as a woman’s weapon and therefor the cowards way. It’s ‘cheap’, because they can’t use it against us. Well, you more than me, I suppose.” Lauren felt herself sharply inhale, watching Evony’s hands slide up her thighs, “But still, when a man tries to seduce me? I’ll laugh it off, I can bed whatever man I want. But _women_ however. Well then it’s just fair game.” Evony tilted her her head, looking to Lauren playfully. “Do you still want me to stop?”

Lauren steeled herself, pushing her arousal away as she thought of Nadia. Once was enough, once would last. She wouldn’t do it again. “The problem isn’t that it’s sex, it’s that you’re using it to distract me.”

“I am.”

Lauren sighed, looking up at her. “Please don’t.”

“Say that again.”

“What?” Lauren asked, feeling herself come to the end of her tether. “Don’t?”

“Please,” Evony corrected.

Lauren took a breath, rolling her eyes. “I told you when you came in here, that if it’s about sex, the answer’s no.”

“Then you told me you don’t need me to fill your girlfriend’s space.”

“I didn’t realize you wanted to be my girlfriend,” Lauren replied, deadpan.

“Well, no. But I’m sure that you want some of the benefits.”

Lauren looked over at her, glaring. “Stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“This. Last week was a mistake. It can’t happen again,” Lauren implored. “I have work to do, someone to save and their physiology is important to know for me to begin to hypothesis how I might even start something like that.” She took a breath, staring at Evony.

“You’re offended,” Evony said.

“Yes!” Lauren said. “Yes! I am, and how do you not _understand_ that the last thing I want is to be used a tool for you.”

Evony blinked, looking at her blankly. “A tool?” she asked. “Explain.”

“You come here at one in the morning, and the only reason you would is if you wanted something from me, and the only thing I can offer you is science or sex, but clearly you’re not here for science so the only conclusion is that you want sex.”

“Is that so wrong?” Evony asked. “I was under the impression that it was an enjoyable part of our relationship.”

“I…” Lauren sighed, she dropped her hands, feeling the frustration burst from her. “I don’t know. I don’t want it right now. I can’t. I have a girlfriend.”

“Stop using that excuse. It’s getting boring.”

“But I do, and I love her, and the reason why I feel guilty isn’t because I’m sociology warped to believe that monogamy is the only way, like you happen to think, but because I know that _when_ she wakes up, she’s going to be hurt when I tell her.”

“Then don’t tell her,” Evony shrugged, as if it was the answer to Lauren’s problems.

Lauren laughed, finding the reply absurd. “I love her, what am I supposed to do? Keep it inside of me. She knows everything about me, Evony. She knows every detail of my life, including what I was running from. I don’t keep secrets from her.”

“Lauren,” Evony said, pushing up from the armchair. “I don’t give a fuck about your girlfriend and you’re ridiculous u-haul lesbian fantasy. The truth of the matter is that if you isolate yourself from all touch, any touch offered, you’re not going to survive. You _need_ to feel…human,” she shrugged, smiling pleased at herself.

Lauren felt the words strikes her face like a slap. Glaring, she stood up slowly, feeling the anger tense her limbs, her lungs especially as she withheld her breath. “Get out,” she growled.

“Excuse me?”

“This is my space, and this is me setting boundaries. I want you out of my home. Now.”

Evony stopped, looking offended. “Not until you tell me why.”

“Why?” Lauren laughed. “Are you kidding me? You don’t get to come in here and demand sex, ignoring the fact that I said no. And you certainly don’t get to tell me the only way to survive is through that.”

Evony’s mouth slipped open, an O forming as she realized her mistake. Swallowing, she nodded. “I see,” she said, masking her features. “Enjoy your evening then.”

Lauren watched the door slide shut, her heart still pounding at Evony’s audacity. She knew that that wasn’t what the woman had meant, but still, the words were said and Evony’s lack of apology more than made clear her standing of the situation.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried not to be aware of how close she’d allowed Evony to get to her as her heart thundered in her chest.

* * *

 

A few days later, Lauren came home to find the books Evony had given her on loan, missing. Her own journals sat in their place. Lauren didn’t touch them, didn’t want to know if Evony had written anything. More than not, she was scared that she hadn’t. That there was nothing to find and she’d end up more ridiculously hurt from a woman who wan’t human like her. Who didn’t understand what it was like.

She was fae, Lauren tried to remind herself. She was fae, and had only wanted her for as long as she could use her.

Still, a small part of her spoke up, reminding her that Evony had left on her bequest. She didn’t stay, didn’t make it clear that Lauren was nothing but a mere human compared to her self. She left when she asked her to.

Rationally Lauren knew that Evony was capable of playing the long game, that forcing Lauren into a situation where she made it explicitly clear that she could not boss around the Morrigan, would not work in her favor.

But still. She listened. She left.

It didn’t matter. She left, knowing that she’d hurt Lauren. There was no apology, no resentment, only a quiet silence that left Lauren numb. Evony was fae, and as she’d said, everyone was chattel to her. If Lauren wasn’t of use to her, then there was no reason to continue whatever they were.

So Lauren buried herself with menial tasks.

Work was a blur, a week past. Comments were dug in, her walls stripped from herself with the realization that all the fae was the same. It seemed like, all of a sudden, everything was back to being impossible. Nadia hadn’t budged, and Lauren saw herself become sloppy with her work. Paperwork was done to an acceptable level, patients were diagnosed quickly, with less care. She didn’t care about working efficiently, she just worked. Had Doctor Everett been there, she may have slapped sense into Lauren, or at the least, made her do better.

Her right-hand, Cole, didn’t care. Lauren did the work, it was acceptable, he moved on.

And then Lauren made a mistake.

A drugged up lycanthrope was brought in. She was strong, strong enough that the harpy holding one of her arms down was thrown away, unharmed. Lauren called in for two extra hands, managing to tie her down before she could grab the appropriate dosage. Mina, the harpy, was directed into tying down the lycan’s right arm, but before Lauren checked it was secure, she stepped forward.

The woman, still high off whatever drugs, grabbed Lauren, casting her against the wall. Her head slammed into the wall, before bouncing on a nearby bench as she she slipped to the fall.

She was left unconscious for half an hour before she came to. It wasn’t until Lauren spoke up that someone came to her. She was still on the floor where she’d passed out. No one had picked her up. Too busy, it turned out, with dealing with a hyped up lycan and, really, they were sorry, but her breathing had been normal, her heart rate fine, and the beds were all full. So therefor she was fine.

Then, she was discharged to go home, told to take it easy even after protesting that she was fine to work – because she didn’t want to go home. Anywhere but home. She needed to work, keep busy and not fucking cry.

“Oh honey, no. You might collapse again. Go rest.”

It wasn’t procedure. It was the opposite of procedure but the fact was, the medical knowledge the collected fae had in the medical ward would barely scrape by in a human hospital. They didn’t know how susceptible to a concussion she was, and most fae would have been up and fine from the same attack.

Lauren left, growing quickly aware that not only was she unsuited to work, she was unsuited to be left unsupervised by herself.

She didn’t call an ambulance, or even a taxi to take her to a hospital. Instead, she stepped outside only to find the rainstorm hadn’t passed and she was left to walk home in the wet, freezing rain, her mind telling her over and over again that she was a doctor, if it became obvious that she was in real danger, she’d make the call.

She was halfway home when a car pulled up, its passenger door opening.

Lauren crouched to look inside, already knowing who it was by the make and model of the car. “What do you want?”

“Get inside.”

“No.”

“Lauren, this is not the time to be petulant.”

“Why are you following me?”

Evony sighed, staring at her. Lauren knew there was a meeting between local fae governing powers. New rules were being discussed by the Glaive of each party in according to fae territory. She knew, because it had been going on for the last week or so as both the Dark and the Light were in opposition against the new laws. Still, it was easy to rile Evony in her mood.

“You’re wet. Get in before I leave you to suffer pneumonia.”

Lauren glared, then exhaled, too tired to fight. She was dizzy, in pain and exhausted. Her home was still two kilometers away. Pneumonia _was_ a possibility.

She climbed in, shutting the door and staring ahead. “Just take me home,” she said.

Evony stared at her, lifting a finger to the bandage on her head.

“I’m fine,” Lauren said, not even bothering to move away. “Minor injury.”

“Concussion,” Evony said. Her mouth scowled, “don’t you humans die from that?”

“It’s fine.”

“At the rate you work yourself, I don’t think so.” Evony flicked on the heat, placing the car in gear. “Why are you still angry with me?” she asked.

“I’m not,” Lauren replied. “I’m frustrated.”

“Why? You’re aware that what I’d said was _not_ what I intended. It was bad wording, nothing more.”

Lauren snorted. “Or a Freudian slip.”

“Don’t be-“

“You’re _fae_ , Evony. What am I suppose to think?” Lauren turned to looked at her. “You have two uses for me, by brain or my body. And either way, I can’t and won’t fulfill either for you anymore.”

“You have more uses for me than either of those things, Lauren.” She didn’t stop at Lauren’s apartment, instead, continuing to drive. “You’re loyalty for one.”

“You’re a sociopath.”

“I am,” she replied. “That isn’t something I’ve hidden from you. Though I do find myself devilishly charming,” she grinned, receiving no response from Lauren. Slowly, the smile slipped away. “Look, I don’t know what you want from me, Lauren. What can I do to diffuse your anger?”

“Stop treating me like _that_! Like…” she gestured, unable to articulate. Her head swam and for a moment, there was nothing but red and black before her hearing came back into focus. Evony hadn’t noticed. “You screwed up,” Lauren whispered. “ _Normal_ people apologize.”

“Fine. I’m sorry you were offended.”

“That’s-!” Lauren stopped, staring at Evony. The woman looked at her blankly, confused by Lauren’s response. “Oh my god, you think that’s actually an apology.”

“Yes.”

“No! It’s not.”

“Lauren,” Evony turned the wheel, pulling up into a parking lot. “I promised you I wouldn’t lie to you. I _am_ sorry that you were offended.”

“But you don’t care that what you said was wrong.”

“I do,” Evony said. “But I don’t understand your anger.”

Lauren sighed, shutting her eyes. “Where the hell did you drive me?” she asked, exhausted from the conversation. The parking lot was nicer than her own, but a parking lot no less. Evony exited the car without a word, and Lauren followed, slowly. First by opening the door and placing her feet on the ground, then by slowly hoisting herself up. “Take me home, Evony. I don’t want to be here.”

“You’re sick, and you humans are fragile – and before you get offended, that’s a _fact_ not a means to dig under your skin.” Evony moved to stand beside her, close enough that she could grab her if she fell, but far enough to not invade Lauren’s space.

Lauren sighed, giving in. “Where are we?”

“Waldorf hotel. Do you want a salad?”

“No thanks,” Lauren replied dryly, allowing herself to slowly follow Evony into the elevator. The doors shut, Evony pressing a button.

But Lauren became aware that as her hand shuddered on the railing, that she was shaking. She couldn’t feel the cold, but she was shaking. Her clothes were wet, cold even after the hearted form Evony’s car. “Do you live here?”

“No. I have my own apartment. But, I feel like discretion is required.”

“Evony…” Lauren looked at her, feeling her head spin and pound, aching with a sharp migraine as she grabbed the elevator railing tighter, tipping forward. There, Evony grabbed her, looking at her curiously.

“I was a medic over six hundred years ago, I would suggest that you try not to die since my methods are vastly out dated.”

“You were a medic?” Lauren asked curiously. Her health was sharply declining. She should call an ambulance.

“It was the war. Everyone was everything back then.” The elevator stopped, Evony lead her into a hall, into a room and sat her on the bed. There, Lauren fell back.

“I think I should go to a hospital.”

“That would be a mistake,” Evony began pulling off Lauren’s shoes, her socks. “Did you read the medical journals I returned?” she asked.

Lauren hummed, shutting her eyes. She was too tired to resist. “No.”

“Why?”

“I was afraid,” she said, blinking up at the ceiling. “Why are you here?”

“Because you’re mental health has plummeted to terrifying lows, and though I wish I could take blame, I’m certain it’s to do with your work place and lack of self care. May I?” She gestured to the rest of Lauren’s clothes, hands on the woman’s hips.

“No sex,” Lauren said, her voice sounding hoarse as she laid still. The room spun, her head pounded. She didn’t make a noise.

Evony stopped, before grabbing Lauren’s pants and tugging them down. “I was wrong,” Evony said. “I made a mistake. I don’t know what more you expect me to say.”

“I don’t either,” Lauren said. “But I know it was bad wording. I’m not upset about that.”

“Then what?”

Lauren felt the shirt tugged over her head, Evony’s fingers unclipping her bra before a new, dry shirt, was placed on. “You left,” Lauren replied. “You left and I know there’s no relationship between us, I know that whatever this is between you and me, is mostly for your own means, but you were the first fae to treat me like a person and it _hurt_. Do you get that?”

“Why?” Evony asked. She stopped this time, looking at Lauren curiously. “You’re not developing feelings for me, are you?”

Lauren sighed, looking down at her. “Why is that so terrifying for you. And no, I’m not, it’s just that the first person who makes me feel like that maybe all the fae are different and not so shitty, turns out to still be just as shitty.”

“People are shitty, Lauren,” she replied. “Humans, the fae, whatever. They’re shitty. They’re complex and they’re never going to live up to expectations. That includes yourself if you need me to be less subtle.”

“Why are you here Evony? Why have you taken me to some hotel room and practically swaddled me?”

“Because you’re about to let yourself die. The world is a bleak place and you don’t know how to survive it.” Evony reached up, brushing wet hair from Lauren’s face. “You’re lonely, Doctor Lewis.”

“Sleeping with you is not a way to survive.” Lauren replied.

“Sex is. It doesn’t have to be with me, or only me, or whatever. At the very least, you need to find something extra curricular to do. Normally I’d suggest drugs or alcohol, but that would _not_ be suitable in your working position.” She waved a hand. Lauren yawned, actually tired, but making no effort to hide it. “If you actually read the journals, you’d know.” She stood up, and Lauren became aware of the sudden switch in her face. She hadn’t noticed the soft look on Evony’s face until it was gone. “Go to sleep, Lauren. Pretend the fae doesn’t exist.”

“You never answered my question,” Lauren replied.

“Which is?”

“Why are you here?”

“I believe I did,” Evony turned to look at her. She looked strange, Lauren decided, like there was something just beneath the surface of her shown emotions. Lauren almost wanted to reach up and see if she could slide the mask from her face. It didn’t seem to fit any more.

“I’m no use to you.”

“So you believe,” Evony smiled. She tugged the blankets of the bed down, gesturing to Lauren. Slowly, Lauren climbed in.

“You’re very motherly,” Lauren teased, missing the sharp fear on Evony’s face. “I shouldn’t sleep. I might…”

“You’ll be fine,” Evony said. “If you die, I’ll just bring you back so I can kill you myself.”

There, Lauren made a laugh. “I don’t understand you,” she whispered, shutting her eyes. “I don’t understand…”

“No, I don’t think I do either,” Evony admitted.

“I won’t…” Lauren felt herself begin to drift. “Let you feed…” she finished loosely, feeling a hand slip over her hair and almost hearing a word whispered in her ear.

She didn’t know what Evony said, but it sounded good.


	6. make me feel like I am breathing, feel like I am human

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah, thank you to everyone who reads this, who sends kudos and comments, I just have so many feels over you all ;__; thank you so much.

2\. Kiss (naked)

Lauren awoke in the hotel, confused at the red and white curtain. They blurred in and out of focus, sometimes revealing the spidery thread, sewn on in a pattern. The red and white fluttered in a soft breeze, the curtains rising then falling gently against the thinly opened window.

It was night…or early morning. The lights of the city blacked out the stars, making it difficult to work out roughly what time it was.

Sitting up, she found herself haven fallen back against the pillow. She paused, blinking confused up at a ceiling. She wasn’t awake yet, hadn’t worked out right away that it wasn’t her own inability to sit up that made her fall back.

There was a hand on her belly, firmly holding her down. Turning her head, she looked over to see Evony, her hair a mess from sleeping. “Stay,” the woman grumbled. Her hand slipped from Lauren before she rolled over, falling back asleep.

“I need-“

“Stay,” Evony repeated, this time her voice was muffled by the pillow.

“Shower?” Lauren suggested. “Breakfast?”

“It’s four in the morning. You’re not working today. Go to sleep, Lauren. It’s an unreasonable hour to be awake.”

Lauren sighed, relaxing the best she could in bed with the Morrigan. Not that it was about being in bed with the Morrigan, she’d been in bed with Evony before. But they hadn’t _slept_. That’d been sex, some pillow talk, before Evony dressed and Lauren ended up…

But _sleeping_ was a different matter. Frowning, Lauren tried to piece the events of the previous day together to understand how she got here. She vaguely remembered the attack, remembered Evony. Evony had been so nice too. She didn’t remember the woman sliding into bed with her, however. She just remembered being put to bed.

“I can hear you thinking.” Evony rolled over, blinking tiredly at Lauren. Lauren felt her breath pull, aware that she was privy to a moment that most people may never witness. Evony wasn’t the type to do sleepovers at someone’s house. Or allow them at her own. But here she was, her expression soft as she blinked at Lauren, cheeks red against brown skin, eyes blearily, and with her hair…

Lauren thought it would be best if she didn’t mention the hair to her. “How long was I out?”

“Long enough,” Evony slid a hand over Lauren’s waist, pressing her forehead to Lauren’s shoulder. Feeling the doctor tense beneath her, she paused. “Would you prefer if I-?“

“No, no, it’s fine,” she quickly spoke. “It’s just…different.”

Evony laughed, slipping a leg over Lauren. “Different, hmm? Perhaps something familiar should be in place.”

Lauren smiled, feeling her heart rate kick up at the tease. “I think I’m supposed to be mad at you,” Lauren said. Feeling bold, she lifted up a hand, slipping brown hair from Evony’s face. The woman softened, closing her eyes.

“I can make up for that.”

“I’m sure.” Lauren hummed, looking up at the ceiling again. She allowed the pause to settle over, before whispering. “I appreciate what you did.”

“It won’t last,” Evony replied. “You need to do something else. Ride a mechanical bull or something that makes you feel alive. Join an art class,” she looked up at Lauren, placing her chin on the woman’s arm. “I can teach you.”

“I get the feeling ‘teaching’ from you would be _all_ about anatomy.”

“Depends on what you want your style to be. Begin with the basics, learn about form and tone. Eventually we’ll look at the classics, the different styles through era, and then it’s throwing you in the deep end.”

“The deep end?” Lauren said.

“Find your style. Experiment. The best way to do any art, is to try out all the styles and see what works for you. Copy famous works, experiment with your own, whatever.” She dropped her head against Lauren’s arm again, shutting her eyes.

“Nadia was the artist, not me.”

“Music then,” Evony suggested. “You used to play the violin when you were young.”

Lauren froze, looking at Evony. “How did you know that?”

Evony yawned, stretching against her. “I’m fae, darling. It’s a gift.” _Oh_ , Lauren exhaled. She should have known that. Leanan Sídhe. She’d researched all their known gifts, and that included the ability to psychically know the history surrounding their feed’s talents. It’s what made Evony so good at her job. “You should pick up the violin again, or the piano.”

“I hated the piano.”

Evony laughed. “Remind me to show you mine, you might like that better than the one you grew up playing.”

“Can you tell what I grew up playing?” Lauren asked.

“No,” Evony smiled. “But I can take a guess.”

Lauren blinked, becoming aware that she was still drawing her fingers through Evony’s hair. The woman hadn’t complained, so she supposed that for now, it was still in the realm of safe territory. Though inwardly, she knew that none of this behavior was platonic, and after yesterday, she was beginning to realize that maybe she didn’t want things to be platonic.

She didn’t want the sex, necessarily. It was sex she craved but the intimacy. She wanted that connection, the conversations that went on forever, the moments where Evony seemed to relax and Lauren seemed to feel like she was herself for the first time.

“You don’t get goosebumps,” Lauren said. She had an arm under Evony, her fingers moving from the Morrigan’s hair, to drawing down the woman’s shoulders.

“My body regulates temperature differently. I don’t sweat either.”

“How _does_ your body regulate temperature?”

Evony laughed. “Oh no, I think I’ll let you be the one to work that out. You _are_ the scientist after all.”

“Mm, well, I guess I’ll have to study you closely,” Lauren replied. She hadn’t meant to let herself flirt the way she had, but the reply came out easily. Evony laughed again, the sound light as she looked up at her.

“Promises,” she hushed. Then, adjusting herself to comfort again Lauren, she closed her eyes.

“How many hours do you require to sleep?”

“Less than a human, though scientists still debate how long a _human_ is required to sleep.”

“Depends on the type of sleep. People are different, overall it depends on how deep the sleep is. If they sleep for four hours, and it’s deep, then they’ll be fine. But if it’s light and they’re constantly waking up, it doesn’t matter how little or much sleep they get. It isn’t worth anything.”

“Then I would assume that it’s probably due to the fact that I can fall into a deep sleep easier than humans. But that’s not something I care about. There’s no study of leanan sídhe, like there is for humans. My kind is uncommon.”

Lauren frowned, thinking about it. “Are your talents primarily creative, or can you-?“

“All talents,” Evony said. “I prefer working within the creative industry, nothing more complex than that.”

“The industry, or the live style?”

Evony hummed. “I do miss the lifestyle, but then I remember how much access people have with phones and the internet. I do _not_ need my sex tape to go viral like Paris Hilton. Though, it’s much easier to delete the internet history as the fae adapt with modern technology.” Evony yawned, tilting her head further against Lauren. “Let me sleep for another hour, and then I’ll…” she waved her hand, too lazy to finish the conversation.

Lauren understood. They’d get dressed, have breakfast, or whatever and then they’d part on their separate ways.

“Okay,” she whispered.

“Good,” Evony shut her eyes, making no effort to move away from Lauren. Lauren felt herself tense, forget how to breathe properly, and then slowly relax against her again.

With a terrible realization, she knew that regardless of Evony’s wishes, Lauren was beginning to have feelings for the Morrigan. Hopefully, it would become no greater than infatuation before fading out all together when their relationship eventually bottomed out.

There was no future there, especially with Evony being the leader of the Dark Fae, and a woman who liked her position quite happily. Lauren was human. At the luckiest possibility, she may eventually become Evony’s chattel, a pet eventually stripped of her dignity. But more likely than not, their relationship would exist until Evony grew bored and moved on.

Lauren knew that, she wasn’t blind, wasn’t tricking herself into the possibility of more. The problem was, that though logically she understood this, reality hadn’t set in. If she was completely aware, she might untangle herself, slip out from the bed, dress and then leave to her apartment. She was lining herself up for heartache, a lot of guilt and more stress on her already stress-filled life.

It wasn’t rational to continue the relationship. And yet…she was.

So she remained beneath Evony, content in trying to match her own breathing to the woman, before realizing that there was no humanly possible way that she could breathe the same inhale and exhale that Evony did. Evony’s were slower and further apart. Which, Lauren already knew, but hadn’t been in the position to try out herself until then.

As Evony slept, the breathing became slower, and it was only because her chest was pressed against Lauren’s side that Lauren could count how long between inhale and exhale.

* * *

 

Lauren drifted briefly, waking to see red light filtering in the room as Evony shifted against her. Her mind was groggy, vaguely aware of where she was, what had happened and that for a moment, she’d drifted asleep thinking that the conversation she had before had been apart of that dream.

Blinking, Lauren looked down to see Evony just as tiredly blinking up at her. Not a dream. Her heart both dropped and sped up in the bittersweet revelation.

“Morning,” Lauren whispered.

Evony smiled, sitting up as she ran a hand through her hair. “Ugh,” she muttered, Untangling her fingers. “I used to have my hair shorter for this reason,” she said. Then, turning to Lauren, she allowed a chuckle as the doctor sat up. “Though it looks like you have the same problem.”

Lauren blinked, reaching up to touch her hair and feeling it sit like a bird’s nest. “Shower,” she mumbled. Stumbling out of the bed. She went for the bathroom first, emptying her bladder, before she caught a look in the mirror as she washed her hands. Her hair was worse than she first expected. It was big and fluffy, not unlike a dandelion. Squinting at it, she went for the complimentary toothbrush and toothpaste, brushing her teeth just to make at least her mouth feel better.

Then she climbed into the shower.

It was a good shower. A very good shower and she was tempted to stay in there forever had Evony not been in the bedroom, awaiting her own chance to shower.

Lauren climbed out, grabbed one of the white soft towels that had to be made of the fluffiest material to ever grace her skin, before realizing that she did not have clean clothes to put on. There was just the white cotton shirt she’d slept in, and underwear. Opening the bathroom door, Lauren peered out. “Are my…clothes there?”

Evony looked up, she was sitting on the end of the bed in black singlet and underwear. Her legs crossed as she read over room service.

“I sent them to be cleaned last night,” she said. “I’ll call and see if they’re done.”

“Okay, I’ll just-“

“Don’t put on dirty clothes again,” Evony said. “There’s dressing gown over there,” she pointed to window side of the room.

Lauren sighed, bowing her head. Slowly, she slid open the bathroom door wider and made her way over to where the gown was. She tugged on the gown, dropping the towel to the floor, before knotting the belt over her waist. Evony’s eyes flickered to hers momentarily before she grabbed the phone receiver.

Combing fingers through her hair, Lauren sat on the top of the bed, flicking on the television to watch the news.

“What do you want for breakfast?” Evony asked.

Lauren blinked, thinking about the question. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “Yoghurt and muesli will be fine.”

Evony looked up at Lauren, frowning. “That doesn’t sound very good.”

“I didn’t realize my health was so detrimental to you.”

Evony leaned back on the bed, lying down with her head coming to where Lauren’s thighs were, though two feet away away on Lauren’s right. “Read this,” she said, handing the food options to Lauren. Lauren took the paper, trying not to notice how far the singlet rose up on Evony’s belly.

“You don’t wear pajamas,” she said instead. Evony laughed, staring up at the ceiling as Lauren busied herself with reading over the offered food. Pancakes was ruled out, but there was fruit salad offered. Scrambled eggs and bacon, omelette…

“Well I thought I might wear _something_ , but no, I don’t wear pajamas. I do, however, own some lingerie that could be classified as sleep wear, but I didn’t think you’d take too kindly to that after our disagreement.”

Lauren hummed, nodding. In honesty, she didn’t know how she’d react.

But when Evony arched, stretching on the bed, it made it difficult to remember that Lauren was supposed to definitely be making her way home and _not_ thinking about how good sex had been with her.

It wasn’t that she even wanted sex. Or orgasms. In fact, with her head the way it was, she definitely could not take any of Evony’s orgasms, giving or receiving. It was just that she was starving for human contact. Just lying in bed beside Evony had made her aware of how much she’d missed that, how empty her bed had been. In fact, ever since Evony had walked into her life at that party those months ago, Lauren had become aware of how little personal contact she had.

And how wonderful it’d been when she’d been offered it.

And Evony knew, she had to know how much she wanted it. Taking a breath, Lauren managed to make an order for food, before Evony went off to shower, taking the other dressing gown with her. When she returned out of the shower, her hair was damp, her expression brighter and the food had arrived.

The hotel room was nice, clean and tidy and probably cost an arm and a leg. The television was large, with a moderately sized lounge. There was a king sized bed, and a small table fitted with two chair that all sat easily inside of the room. No kitchenette, with the room’s function not been made for the type of people who would make their own coffee and tea, Lauren supposed.

Still, it was nice. Even the window had a nice view over the city, and they were far enough up that the traffic was too distant to hear overall.

Evony read a magazine as Lauren watched the news, eating her breakfast slowly at the table across from the Morrigan. It was terribly domestic and Lauren didn’t know what to think of the situation at all. When Evony had pushed her plate away and moved to just holding her coffee as she flicked through the magazine – no doubt filled her clients – Lauren cleared her throat nervously.

The Morrigan looked up at her expectantly and Lauren felt herself flush shyly. “I’m confused,” she admitted. Then, smiling awkwardly, she explained quickly. “It’s just that I don’t understand understand why you brought me here, why not my apartment, or just take me to the hospital, or-“

“It’s fae run,” Evony said. “You’ll heal better here. It’s a sanctuary.”

“Oh,” Lauren whispered, “but why did you bring me here – I don’t mean why, I mean-“

“Why _here_ ,” Evony nodded. “Because you were ill. Lauren, _I_ can smell the depression on you, you needed a change of scenery. I’m surprised the Ash hadn’t noticed, though I suppose that you were placed in Ms Everett’s care for her to oversee you, since under her care you flourished far more than you have in…” she stopped, frowning. “What’s his name, the one with the nose.”

“Cole Briar.”

Evony’s brows raised. “That’s…an unusual name to pick.”

“I know,” Lauren sighed. It sounded made up, and probably was. Though it was his name now and she would respect it the best she could. “But I still don’t understand why you care abut me.”

“You’re interesting,” Evony shrugged. “Does there have to be some secret ulterior motive?”

“Yes.”

Evony pursued her lips, considering her words carefully. “I enjoy our conversations. It’s rare to meet an intellect who surpasses my own ability.”

Lauren laughed, not at the compliment, but the way Evony made it sound like Lauren was only marginally better than herself. Nodding, Lauren took the compliment as it was. “Okay,” she agreed. “But it can’t just be that.”

“I find interesting people Lauren, and I stay with them for lengths of periods at a time. You’re rich in talent, think of it like being…”

“Catnip?” Lauren suggested, “With you being the cat,” she added, before ducking her eyes away shyly. Her first morning thoughts weren’t always as brilliant as they could be.

“I suppose,” she shrugged, reclining back in the chair. “You are the poet to my muse, Lauren. I have no idea where our…relations will lead. It may end terribly, or it may just end mutually, but what I do know is that there is something fascinating about you and I have to know where it goes.”

“Does this…happen often?”

“Every decade or so, I tend to find someone I find fascinating enough to have a long-term connection with, however that may be,” Evony said. “More often than not, I attempt to seduce or employ them under my control, but there are the odd few who are as resilient as ever. I think you’re one of them.”

Lauren laughed, humored by the turn of conversation. “Care to name any of the others?”

“No,” Evony said, smiling playfully. “But if you happened to guess one, I am bound not to lie to you.”

Lauren smiled wider, thinking of all the people who’d be interesting enough. “Give me time and I’ll come up with a list,” she said.

Evony laughed this time, nodding her head. “Alright, if that’s what you prefer.”

“I need the time,” Lauren said, the playfulness overruling her defensive streak. “I don’t want to just list random people and have you laugh at me!”

“Ah, is that it? I promise to withhold my laughter the best I can, then.”

“Liar.”

“I’m bound not to lie, remember?” Evony smiled. But as a pause fell over them, the expression shifted. Evony took a breath as she stared at Lauren. “When you leave the hotel, your health will drop to the state it was in before,” she said. “I’m telling you this so you’re aware that you’re currently under the influence of the fae who runs this hotel.”

Lauren paused, blinking. “How much?” she asked.

“Not much, less than if I were to affect you, but enough to nudge your mood.”

“I see.”

“Do you understand why I’m telling you this?”

“Yes.” Lauren paused, looking down at her coffee. Her good mood hadn’t vanished, but it lessened. Aware of it, Lauren knew that had she been outside of the motel, even with a healthier mental state, her mood would have plummeted drastically. “How long can I stay here?” Lauren asked, hating how vulnerable the question sounded.

“The Ash will notice your presence missing tomorrow, so I would suggest that this evening you return to your apartment.”

Lauren nodded. Then, smiling, she looked up at Evony. “What about you?” she asked. “When do you have to return to work?”

“Tomorrow,” she said. “It’s…well let’s call it my day off.”

Lauren tilted her head, not believing that leading the Dark Fae would actively have a rostered day off, or even time off in general. If anything, it would be likely that Evony was on call twenty-four, seven. But rather than question Evony, Lauren poked at her food, occupying her attention shortly before she deflated.

“So…” Lauren said. “Let me get this straight. You want a relationship between us but not _feelings_.”

“Out of the blue question, but yes,” Evony said.

Lauren tilted her head, confused. “I don’t understand.”

“It’s simple, don’t fall in love.”

“No, I get that, I just don’t understand _why_? I would have thought having people in love with you would make it easier to control them.”

“However you think of me, I’m not _that_ type of person, Lauren.” Evony sighed, taking a sip of coffee.

“Well, okay. It’s just that I’d assume that you’d be adored, worshipped by them and everything you’ve ever told me about yourself leads me to believe that that _is_ something of your style.”

Evony frowned. “I don’t have an issue with most people being in love with me. I have an issue with _you_ being in love with me.”

“Why?” Lauren recoiled. “What’s different about me?”

“You’re important,” Evony shrugged. “If you were focusing on me, your talents would deplete, your focus wouldn’t be on what you’re good at. Well…” Evony smiled, making it clear where her thoughts laid, “Aside from one or two things, but you have plenty of other skills as well.”

Lauren shook her head. “I don’t buy it. I’m sure that _is_ part of it, but there has to be more to it.”

“There is, but I’d prefer we don’t go into it today,” Evony said. “Besides, a young, genius mind such as yours should be able to work it out.” Evony smiled at her. “Any particular reason why you asked?”

“No,” Lauren shook her head.

“Liar.”

“Can’t prove it.”

“Oh, but I can. Out of respect for you, I won’t.” Evony smiled. Had she poked her tongue out of her, Lauren would not have been surprised. The impish look on her face made it look almost possible.

“There a moments,” Lauren felt herself start to speak, “where I keep expecting you to jump out and say ‘April fools’.”

“Rest assure, I was never was one for that holiday.”

“But…” Lauren took a breath, her chest tightening in fear of exposing too much, “if this isn’t some joke, how you treat me, then it’s something far sinister and it’s actually terrifying. You’re going to hurt me.”

“I am,” Evony agreed. “But not for the reasons you think.”

“Then what reasons?”

Evony placed down the coffee mug, standing up. Lauren felt her stomach flip as she was lifted onto her feet. She didn’t know what to expect, didn’t know what she wanted to happen. No, that was a lie, she knew what she wanted.

Evony leant forward, closing in on space. Lauren could feel one arm around her waist, and a hand in hers. She didn’t know if she expected to dance or melt or what. But Evony pressed forward, their foreheads touching and Lauren exhaled, a shiver casting down her spine as she felt fingers slide over the white robe.

“What do you want Lauren?” Her head tilted back, lips open to nearly touch over hers.

“I…”

“Tell me what you want.” There were two hands on her waist now, and she could feel the dressing gown slowly being pulled open. Cold air seeped through the gap in the material, brushing against Lauren’s skin and making her arch. “We have the day.”

“Not sex,” Lauren whispered. “Not…quite. I mean, I want-“ she stopped. Frustrated with herself and the inability to find the words.

“I know what you what you want,” Evony teased. “But you’re going to have to say it out loud.”

Lauren whimpered, the sound catching in her throat as she blinked up at Evony. They were close, so close and the Morrigan was going to hold them there forever if she didn’t do something. Instead of waiting, or worse, answering, Lauren just went for her instead.

Her cheeks were hot and she didn’t want to embarrass herself further. It was easier just to lead. Just to tug the gown from Evony’s body, feel it tugged from her own, the material slipping down her arms and her back before dropping to the floor. Then she could push Evony back onto the bed.

But she didn’t want sex. It wasn’t about sex and Evony understood that. Her mouth was responsive and slow, eager to ease Lauren’s energy level to a relaxed state as she kissed her while against the bed.

Though, it was her hands that slid over Lauren, over her sides and back, down her thighs. They clutched at her hips, dragged down over her spine and brushed through her hair. Lauren didn’t know how long it lasted, but long enough that whatever had previously twisted uncomfortably inside of her, seemed to evaporate into the netherworld.

She was beginning to grow feelings towards Evony; warm, hot feelings that were inappropriate for some practical reason Lauren couldn’t quite fathom when she was being kissed like this. It wasn’t about her happiness, Evony was selfish enough to disregard Lauren’s wellbeing for her own needs. It was something else.

Something that Lauren didn’t care to figure out right now.

Not as she kissed Evony, kissed her hard and slow, or quick and soft, or a mix of betweens and all the aboves. She wanted Evony’s touch, wanted her hands, and when her thigh slid high between Evony’s legs, she felt her own desire begin to pool noticeably between her own.

“Not here,” Evony said, pulling away. “Only because I don’t want another spat between us so soon,” she teased.

Lauren laughed, she laughed and maybe it was due to the fae, but she laughed, and she kissed Evony, and it was warm and soft and it was her body against another person’s and she could just pretend that everything was okay.

* * *

 

Evony laughed, pressing her mouth to the mid of Lauren’s back. Lauren paused, taking a breath and exhaled. It was lunch time. There had been food, she remembered. But now there was just lots of different drinks, none of which were alcoholic.

She was sure she should feel either fortunate or unfortunate towards that situation. But for some reason, she just felt really distracted. Not just from Evony’s lips, or from the fingertips sinking into her hips. There was something in her head humming. It felt warm and sure, and later she knew, it would terrify her. In the hotel, she only felt curious.

“Is this still under ‘not having sex’?” Lauren asked. She hissed in a breath, feeling teeth scrape over her flesh before a tongue slide over mark. Okay. She nodded, not sure if she was agreeing or allowing or what. Remembering where her thoughts laid previously, she continued. “This feels a lot like sex.”

“I’ll remind you what sex feels like later.”

“That sounds like I should be worried.” Evony moved, pressing the length of her body over Lauren’s, before leaning over her shoulder to kiss the doctor’s lips.

“Be _very_ afraid,” she teased, kissing her again. “Just think of all the years I’ve had practice learning every inch of a woman’s body.”

“You know,” Lauren said. “When I first saw you, I thought you had more of an interest with men.”

Evony laughed. Sliding off Lauren, she moved beside her. Lauren turned to face her, wincing at the movement. “Something wrong?” Evony asked.

“Nope,” Lauren replied quickly, keeping a straight face. They both knew that Lauren was beyond aroused. Her _thighs_ were damp and it was only midday.

Evony smiled, then closed her eyes, taking a breath. “I have no gender preference overall. I do prefer men some days, women other, amongst other genders. But the world is too big, too _grande_ to limit yourself. Why not sleep with as many interesting people as possible and see what happens.”

“The threat of STI’s does seem stop some people,” Lauren pointed out. “It’s easier to have safe sex if you both know you’re clean.”

Evony smiled wider. At first, Lauren didn’t understand, then it clicked.

“Bullshit!” Lauren said.

“Perks of being fae, I heal, and I really do mean _heal_. I’ve never had a cold or the flu. Never got the black plague…” Evony’s eyes fluttered as she rolled onto her back. “Not all fae of course are like that. Some just have accelerated healing, making them less prone to disease. Some have the same or weaker immune systems. We are diverse, as you are aware. I’m just one of the luckier ones.”

Lauren’s mind was still focused on an earlier statement. “You were there when the black plague was rampant.?”

“Honey, it was _everywhere_. You couldn’t avoid it if you tried, and believe me, I tried.”

Evony in medieval England. Or Europe. Wherever. She’d know more history, have the facts that most people didn’t. The true history of the world without the whitewashing, homophobia, ableism and sexism erasing people from history. “You are the most fascinating person,” Lauren said. “The history you have is just…”

“If you only saw the collection I had in half a dozen of my vaults, you’d never leave,” Evony teased. “And somehow I get the feeling that I could give you the best orgasm of your life, and you’d be more focused on my journals.”

“Journals?” Lauren questioned.

Evony sighed, smiling at Lauren. “I’m going to give you the best orgasm of your life, then one of my journals and see which one you prefer.”

“Journals,” Lauren said quickly, teasing her. “I don’t care for _best_ orgasm ever. I’ve had some mind blowing ones already, so whatever you wanted to give me would probably make my heart stop.”

Evony pausing, considering the thought before shrugging. “That’s something I’ll have to test out.”

“You plan to kill me with an orgasm.”

“Well, it _would_ be the perfect murder. COD would come under ‘heart failure’. Nothing would trace back to me. No war on my hands…this is a good idea.”

“So you plan to kill me,” Lauren sighed playfully. “What ever will I do?”

“No idea,” Evony shrugged. “I suppose you’ll have to make it up to me. Change my mind and stop me before I decide to kill you.”

Lauren hummed, considering the ways she could do that when Evony arched. “You know,” Lauren said. “The fae affect my mood positively, right? They’re not affecting my libido.”

“They don’t,” Evony agreed.

“Well, I was thinking that then maybe…”

Evony quirked an eyebrow, watching Lauren sit up shyly shrugging. “What would you like, Doctor?” she asked, a smile peeling over her face.

“Even if I was in a bad mood, I think this morning would have progressed as it had,” she said. “But I mean, I would…like…”

“Yes?”

“It’s just that _you_ got to hear me get off. To myself. And I was thinking that….” She trailed off, watching where Evony’s fingers slipped towards.

“You were thinking?”

“I was,” Lauren nodded. She forgot where the thought was going. No, she knew where it was going and it lead to exactly what Evony was about to do, but the words that she had to ask had disappeared, and she was left dumb as a hand slipped over Evony’s pubic mound, and then, somewhat disappointedly, over her thigh.

Lauren exhaled, looking up at the Morrigan.

Evony sat up, pressing herself against the bed head, legs together as she stared at Lauren. “Ask,” she demanded.

“No,” Lauren replied. “I’m not giving in to your power games. You know what I want, you-“ she stopped, watching the thighs spread. Okay, yes.


End file.
